I have really only just ended an almost two year relationship with a guy whom shared a deep connection with me... and to be honest I still miss him a lot. But its over now, we both now that.. he's seen other people, and I am seeing another person. I hae been seeing this guy for... I dont know... a month... if that... and hes said the big "L" word... its too soon... and although I like him an awful lot, I'm frugal with my big "L" words... I dont like to hand them out unless I believe its true... and I guess, I feel I"m not ready to say that, I hardly know him, let alone 'love' him, at least in the sense of what I have become to know as being love.... what should I do ?
The big "L" word? All that means is he has too much affection for you too soon for your taste...or he is obsessed. Love is nothing more than a chemical brain stimulation that we've named to be some sacred "spiritual" entity. It's subjective, an emotion and can be given or taken away. People who are "in love" who can't eat, sleep, work...also can't think straight because they are preoccupied with a fantasy they've created in their head--an illusion--based on an intense emotional reaction to someone else. Infatuation of this nature is an emotional psychosis. If you want to be with this guy, be with him. Don't let words fuck it up, unless he becomes some irritating asshole who wants to smother you--obsessiveness.
But I cant tell him how to feel. I think... I might just tell him hw I feel, and let him know that its cool for him to feel the way he does. I guess I just felt bad because I thought he would expect the same thing in return.... but he seems to be pretty cool with letting me go my own pace
I think he'll understand. My boyfriend of 2+ years was in the same situation that you are in when we first got together, and I completely understood.
Is he a loser compared to the old one? If your assumption is based on comparing, is that fair for new guy?
no its not comparing, I was just stressing that I'm still really healing... not ready for he "L" word
I think guys fall in love quicker than gals.His mistake was telling you his feelings too soon,thus turning you off.Most guys move too quickly in a relationship,at least that is a complaint I've heard often (and felt the pangs of rejection over) from gals. ~peace & love
WHOA...I thought it was the other way around...I always thought the WOMAN moved too quickly! Are you sure?
WHOA...I thought it was the other way around...I always thought the WOMAN moved too quickly! Are you sure? ~posted by Dancer Annie Re:Well,what has been your experience ? When you've gone out with a guy,who touched who first?Who said the "L" word first?Who gave gifts first?Who calls who more often? ~peace & luv
sweetie- i was in the same situation w/ my boyfriend. (who i've been dating for almost a year now) after a month- he said he loved me. it was sincere and sweet, but i just looked into his eyes and told him that i wanted to get to know him better and that i only wanted to say 'i love you' when i truly meant it. he'll respect and appreciate it a lot more if you are honest with him. don't worry about hurting his feelings, because he will understand your feelings. good luck! =)
[/QUOTE]Well,what has been your experience ? When you've gone out with a guy,who touched who first?Who said the "L" word first?Who gave gifts first?Who calls who more often? ~peace & luv[/QUOTE] When I've gone out with a guy...I always touched them first...Always said "I love you" first...I always gave gifts first...and most of the time, I call most often... SO HA! *giggles*
