Idiots in Stupid Cars

I hate to death those cars called like "The Excursion" or "The Odessy." They're just made to sound exciting for these boring ass shits who live in the middle of the suburbs with boring meaningless lives to feel like they're going on a rugged adventure into the fucking Yukon when really they're just driving down the street to the Goddamn 7-Eleven. These dumb assed people wouldn't last a day in the wilderness, and, considering their incredible gullibility for TV ads, would probably drink some fucking Bush beer on top of a mountain, get drunk, fall off, and die even if they did last a day.

You're not going on an adventure, asshole. You're going to the fucking grocery store. Stop wasting precious oil rescources in a highly inefficient vehicle to make you feel like you're in the mountains of fucking Colorado. If you "navigate" your Navigator into a parking spot that's way too small for you and hamper and torment the parking oppertunities of those of us with smaller, more sensible and efficient cars one more time, you all deserve to have your licences revoked.

And just because you and your husband fucked like rabbits and have given birth to eight children in a possum-like pregnancy, you DON'T need some fucking SUV. Buy a goddamn station wagon and shut the fuck up.

 

I love you.

 

Not that anyone should have to go to Iraq...but if anyone does, it's these fucks.
They should start with the Hummers and work their way down to Excursions, etc.
And don't you hate when one of these monster trucks pulls up next to you at an intersection and you have to wait for them to go first because you'd have to stand on top of your car to see past them?

 

Yes. I'm not even old enough to drive, but I still hate all those bastards. What's funny though is when they try to park on the street in the town where I live, they're too damn big for the parking spaces, and they sit there half in and half out of the space for awhile until a policeman comes along and tickets them for being illegally parked. That makes my day

 

I assume this is an exaggeration because an Excursion is around 19 feet long and 6.5 feet wide. A standard parking stall should be 18 feet by 9 feet and have 24 feet of clearance in front of it. This is just a general standard, it fluctuates between cities, but rarely is it smaller then this. There has been a growing movement toward a 20 feet by 10 feet standard stall because the old size has been outdated for a long time.

So, at most, the Excursion would hang out 1 foot. Both Hummers are shorter. The Escalade is roughly the same and so is the Suburban.

If cops are ticketing, it's one of two things... people just aren't bothering to park correctly even though they could or the stalls are not the correct size. If it's the latter I would be sueing the city for inaccessible parking.

 

sl1....... uber exciting........ 36-40 mpg too........


wow... I'm a wild man.....

 

Hey, I don't care what the laws or regulations are, as long as the assholes in the big cars keep getting ticketed. They deserve tickets anyway- if not for parking then for wasting oil.

 

Since i have to go over around 18 miles of Mountaisn a day is it ok for me to drive my 16 mpg Jeep? Or should i get a little pussy ass car like a Jetta?

 

that "I don't care"...... makes you as bad as them......

 

Keep on driving your mini-van you pussy.

 

Mini vans suck too, but are justifiable for those with excessive spawn.
When I drive, I'm gonna get me a hybrid.

 

In the state where I live, they are trying to pass a law where there registration fees for people who drive SUVs over a certain weight and below a certain gas mileage have to pay like an extra $1000 per year. The extra registration fee is basically for "environmental impact".

I'm torn. On one hand, I don't believe it is the government's right to tell us what to drive or how to live. The less government the better. But on the other hand, I really, really hate those self-satisfied f**ks who have to make up for their feelings of inadequacy by buying the biggest vehicle on the block. So I really don't know where I stand on this. I guess I have to fall on the side of my philosophy as opposed to my baser desires. And just savor the moment everytime I pass one of those behemoths flipped over on the side of the thoroughfare.

 

I drive larger vehicles. I appreciate the greater visibility the offer (I feel as though I need a periscope in small cars), and they are more secure. Incidents such as hitting a deer are pretty much only costly annoyances while in large vehicles; potentially fatal in cars.

 

The EPA is responsible for that one.

They decided to make it so cars couldn't be cool, so people bought SUVs.

Now they're after bikes, go figure.

Less than 2 tenths of a percent of pollution comes from motorcycles but they're now banning Harleys as we know em and cool carbureted machines just so we can have machines that put out 8ppm of some pollutant rather than 32ppm

 

My Dad just told me he is getting me a Yukon for college.

 

I buy oil just to spill it down the drain.

 

I don't have a problem with SUVs when people ACTUALLY NEED THEM, like if they live in a rural area where they have to drive dirt roads or if someone has a big family and needs the space. Like we have an old Explorer just because my dog is huge and won't fit in a car and my dad goes backroading in the mountains when he's stressed.

What really pisses me off though is when these huge ass SUVs are used for a commute into Atlanta and they don't carpool. The few times I've had to go into Atlanta during rush hour, at least half the cars are almost empty SUVs. Also, around here, all the rich suburban parents buy their kids SUVs for their birthdays because they're "safer". And what do they do? Go and roll them or pack 10 kids in the back and crash because they get distracted.

I'm definatly getting a little Vespa moped or a hybrid for college...

 

thats the spirit!

I like to call the biggest SUV the Excretion, in reference to its sizable waste creation. And I am with all those who don't approve of these behemoths being used to toodle around town. Even in the rural areas, some of these monsters are major overkill, its like using an H bomb to remove a tree stump. Very, very few people can legitimately rationalize owning an 8 passenger SUV, like the owners of a remote lodge that is difficult to access, for example. Otherwise, much smaller cars will do just fine. I used to have a tiny 4x4 called a Lada Niva, and it could go anywhere, and could carry 5 people in an emergency, 4 no prob.

 

What's pussy ass mean? Get an old Suzuki Samurai, they eat up the rough stuff, hold 4 people, and are small. A Jetta might be okay if the mountain you drive is paved.... but if its a really bad road, which I doubt, it doesn't mean you need a big car. Little 4 by 4's work great.
Is it a little Jeep like a YJ, or a Grand Cherokee size one?

 

Yeah people driving their Landrover Discoverys in the middle of town and their Range rover to go shoppin in. Fucking stupid and they're usually the most arrogant bastards on the road. GRRRRR!