Straight Dudes Are From Mars, Queers Are From Venus

You know, I gotta fess up about something here. I totally enjoy the company of straight dudes. And it's not sexual. I like to listen to them talk about politics, girlfriend troubles, job frustration, etc (but never sports!). I think they suspect I might be gay. But as long as I listen to them (and offer a little support), they really don't even bother to focus on me or my sexuality. Because that's what I'm noticing about most straight men: They really do think they are the center of the universe. It's ALL about them. And I can see how a lot of women might find that totally boring (and frustrating).

But here's the thing about chatting with gay men: A lot of it can become quite catty and bitchy (which I don't care for). Or else there's some sort of intellectual contest going on: Who has read the most biographies about James Dean and Judy Garland? And what about Elizabeth Taylor? And don't you DARE forget about Madonna! LOL. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that ALL gay men are fixated on Hollywood gossip and such. But there are quite a few. And having an innocent little chat with these types can be a totally draining experience.

So I often end up avoiding folks like that. And search for some plain and simple straight dude to hang out with for awhile. It might not be the kind of sensational gossip that a lot of people seem to hunger for these days. But since he's doing most of the talking (and seems glad to have finally found somebody that doesn't mind hearing him out), at least I don't feel like I am ready for a long vacation when it's all over with. LOL. Plus the dude seems to appreciate the attention. So we both seem to get something positive out of it. Make any sense?

Peace,

PD

 

Hey PD,
As always you make plenty of sense! I have a hard time relating to queers as well. I only have one genuine gay friend. She's the most honest person I know, and is very dependable. Some gay men are too catty for me to chill with!
Ciao

 

Makes plenty of sense to me too. I don't have a lot of gay friends, mainly because I'm not a barfly or gym bunny, and I can't stand the cattiness and bitchiness. Even straight women usually manage to do better than that, in each others' company yet. Besides, I do like some of those hunky straight guys, and most straights are pretty cool toward me, even knowing I'm gay, once they realize that I respect their space.

A rather interesting facet is that straights of both sexes have often shared spouse / significant other troubles with me, knowing that I can somehow relate to both sexes. Sort of like the Fab Five, but strictly on a personal level as a friend. Many gay guys, however, seem to just clam up about any real feelings, unable to talk to anyone except about the most superficial stuff -- and there, they can't seem to shut up! Again, sort of like the Fab Five(!)

Why can we relate so well to many straights of both sexes, but not to each other??? Maybe the rest of you have some insights here...

 

Yeah I agree. The thing that bothers me about Queerculture around here is seeing so many young, hot, gay men completly laying down who they truly are to be this phonyboi "gay" male! It's a shame really! I don't dig people acting like me and i act like none other than myself. There's so much pressure to conform it's rather unfortunate. People are beautiful, they are divine, they are colorful and unique... why not just accept that and enjoy the sex and revelry?
Ciao

 

I feel akward in the presence of another queer; it's not really them, it's me. I mean, I'm bisexual and all, but because I'm transgendered; it's just weird sometimes. I get along with them, but don't tend to hang around with them; they just seem so hostile towards me. I don't really like one of the kids in my school's orchestra, but he is really cute; and, unfortunately, a little ignorant. He has been pretty cruel to me; I once came to him and asked for some support, and he pretty much denied me it and gave me an additional kick in the ass.

I enjoy the company of women more really; but they give me the feeling that I'm talking about myself too much sometimes. I don't like to feel THAT special; I tend to stop myself and say that I talk an awful lot, then ask them about something. I imagine it'd be easier if they knew I was transgendered though . Anywho, enough rambling... just wanted to add my comment.

 

To be perfectly honest, I could not stand that Queer Eye For The Straight Guy (or whatever the hell it was called) show. It tended to make gay folks look like plastic little clones. And since I have never been into fashion, cooking, or interior design--I just could not relate to anything that was being said. And I actually kinda liked the homes of the straight guys much better BEFORE the gay dudes made everything look so nice and pretty. LOL. Not all gay men are into such a superficial approach to life. So I'm not comfortable being compared to the popular clones. That one blonde dude on the show (the catty one) actually made me cringe.

Peace,

PD

 

PD,

The catty blond on queer eye makes me laugh.... but of course i have to be high as hell to watch that show! He's so.... pink!
ciao

 

LOL. Yeah, "pink" sums him up rather well.

Peace,

PD

 

Outside my circle of friends I prefer hanging out with straight guys. They actually seem more comfortable with me than straight girls are. In fact if it wasn't for girls who I had been friends with since childhood I probaly would not have any female friends. I just don't get along with gay guys and I am not sure why.

 

Yes! Yes!! Yes!!! Yes!!!!

PoetDude, you're a prophet. You absolutely nailed a lot of what I feel. I am profoundly uncomfortable with gay men in general, even though I am attracted to men. I don't enjoy the cattiness and the competitiveness, and talking about someone's shoes gets boring really quickly...at least for me.

 

Someone

 

Got

 

Assraped by Elton John without cleaning their pooper.

 

​

sort of like this guy.

 

Don't fuck with Christopher! :O)
Ciao

 

I hear you. Big time. LOL. My idea of hell is having to watch "Will and Grace" for all eternity.

Peace,

PD

 

That would be TRUE torture... *shudders from thought*