No innocence

I couldn't really say. Strange things happen to me, I seem to bend the physical realm to my will when I concentrate hard enough, but it's hard to say whether or not it's real. It seems real enough to me....

 

Right-on,

Keep the faith

 

First Of All I Would Have To Agree With The Other Posters...go See Your Doctor Or Any Doctor And Ask For A Mild Sedative To Help You Sleep. It's Hard To Think Clearly And Rationally When You Are Seriously Sleep Deprived. I Know..i've Been There. You Start To Feel Like You Are Losing Your Mind. Just Take Things One Step At A Time, Starting With Sleep. There's Nothing Wrong With Taking A Mild Sedative To Help You Get Some Much Needed Rest. Once You Get Some Good Rest, You Can Start Addressing The Other Problems In Your Life. I'm Not A Holy Roller Or Anything, But If You Want My Advice About God...don't Lose Faith, He Will Be There When You Really Need Him. I Know That's Probablly Hard To Believe Right Now, But Please Don't Lose Your Faith, If Not God, Then Find Something To Believe In. Maybe Most Importantly...you Should Try To Believe In Yourself, But Again...first And Foremost, You Need To Get Some Sleep. You're Probablly Losing Touch With Reality Because Of The Lack Of Sleep. But It Only Feels That Way Because You Are Exhausted Mentally And Physically. I Hope I Helped You A Lil Bit. You Can Pm Me If You Want To Talk Privately. Take Care Baby Girl And Don't Give Up. You Matter And I'm Sure You Are Very Much Loved. Take Good Care Of Yourself. You Are Here For A Reason. We All Are, Much Love...susan

 

Devi, I have been diagnosed schizophrenic in the past but it seems my diagnosis (after several years of nasty anti-psychotics) is about to be changed to drug induced psychosis and I will be off my meds. My idea of god was actually invented by a psychiatrist/psychologist/philosopher called Jung and he believed in an entity known as the collective unconscious. You have 3 levels in your psyche which interact conscious > sub-conscious > unconscious (then back the other way), and the unconscious is shared between everyone. The collective unconscious is god, the sub-conscious the messenger that communicates both with god and with your consciousness. I believe my 'hallucinations' were visible manifestations of god talking to me, and as a result I feel kind of robbed that they stuck me on all these anti-psychotics to get rid of them. Still, it's in the past now. The point is, you may be your own god, but no one exists in a vacuum. There are lots of gods and you will find that if you believe that a certain amount of our minds are indeed a shared mind, people will be very perceptive and give you all kinds of good advice which will sometimes go deeper than they have the knowledge to give, if you see what I mean. Cos everyone knows you, cos you are everyone, and everyone is you. Does that make sense?

 

Yeah, I get what you're saying...Actually, that kind of goes along with some of the stuff my guide is telling me...I dunno, I think I'm calming down a little bit..it helps talking to other people about it too....

 

gonna lean towards schizo..... release all stress in some fashion

 

Tell us about your guide.

 

My guide...hmm, where to start. Well, I know that he is not a human, he's some sort of..creature. He never told me his name, but he told me a lot of what he claimed to be "truths" about God and the universe. I really think he's told me all he can, he hasn't spoken to me in a while, but to be honest, I like it that way...when he was around, I just got this overwhelming feeling of an evil prescence, and as soon as he left, that feeling went away.

 

Shit... and I sound like him? My ideas came to me as I struggled to make sense of an intensely spiritual experience, not a fake one brought to me by drugs, though I can see the similarities, but sober, clear and bright.

What exactly did this 'guide' say to you?

 

I really don't like talking about this too much anymore...Yes, I came to see life in a different way,and it wasn't due to some drug. I'm glad I had the experience, it made me make some changes in myself and my life that were for the better. But to be quite honest, I think I was temporarily insane. Perhaps I'm still not quite all there, but things are starting to get a little more "normal" for me.

 

Insomniac - you are the creator of your own reality, that does not make you god.

God cannot be explained, so don't call him and elf, God is not a concious entity, God is the medium in which stuff can exist.

 

wow.. 11 years, and you were strong enough to struggle through it all... have you ever herd of the "Foot prints" poem.??



FootPRints Poem:
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was
walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the
sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he
noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one
belonging to him, and the other to the Lord. When
the last scene of his life flashed before him, he
looked back at the footprints in the sand. He
noticed that many times along the path of his life
there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed
that it happened at the very lowest and saddest
times in his life. This really bothered him and he
questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, You said that
once I decided to follow you, You'd walk with me all
the way. But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life, there is only one set
of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed
you most you would leave me." The Lord replied,
"My son, My precious child, I love you and I would
never leave you. During your times of trial and
suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it
was then that I Carried You."

 

yeah, I recall something about that poem....

 

cause you're obviously a trained and certified physcologist, aren't you?