i still remember how stunned i was to hear those words about a blues singer i loved bad skin and a haunting voice so she became just a pig to somebody like my friend: all his teeth were perfect and he never put on an extra pound of weight brand new car (paid for by his rich parents) when he got his high school diploma, a trip to Paris and London for walking through college and a little black book with all the phone numbers of the prettiest girls in town a fat person is just a pig a poor person is just a loser acne makes you a freak acting gay is not good a girl is just a whore (if she lets him take her for a ride) those were the words he lived by all of his perfect life and when the bad news came and he found out the real world is not something you will ever learn about in high school or Harvard he was not strong enough to take it: he gained a few extra pounds his face broke out he lost his impressive job then his doctor told him he had herpes he became the type of person he despised most just a pig so he sold the expensive car, took one last trip around the world slept with five girls in ten nights then came back home and put a bullet in his own head
hmm... sounds really really personal... I truly hope you don't follow the last verse... Catching stuff.. keep expressing yourself like that!
thanks for reading it. even though i'm not sure what you meant by following the last verse? the poem is about the suicide of an angry dude that i knew back in high school. anyway, i just changed a few words in the last part to hopefully make things a little bit clearer. since i wrote this in like 15 minutes, i guess there's always room for some improvement! lol. glad you read it....
It was pretty good but not really my style, I have trouble judging poems that don't I guess I would say speak to me.... seems to have a very sick ironic humor to it or that might just be my sadistic nature...
okay, i already have a few more lines i want to add to it. because i think the tone might seem harsh because it might sound like i am glad this dude died. and that's not the case. even though he was a major asshole in high school, he still could have had a meaningful life. but he got all caught up in the perfection game. and i think that's why he freaked out when life started to go bad for him. he was just too used to always having the best of everything. anyway, thanks for reading this. i understand it is still pretty raw.
okay, it's a done deal. just added a few extra lines. hope this helps to make the tone seem less harsh. i appreciate all the awesome comments and feedback. so feel free to speak the truth. this is a long way from being carved in stone...
thanks. glad you read it. my friend was sort of like a poor man's richard cory. he came from a very comfortable background, but was not the richest man in town.
