Hey everybody, I was just wondering if I could get some advice... So, I am bisexual and I am fifteen years old. I have a girlfriend right now, and we've been going out for just over a year now. She knows that I am bi, as well as everyone at my school, and everyone is cool with it. But I have been feeling an urge to be with a guy, and its been growing and growing ever since the beginning of the school year...And I realize lately that I am not that sexually drawn to my girlfriend, and its not that she's un attractive or anything, she's beautiful. I feel like my preference is definitely guys. I dont really know what to do...me and her have an infinite number of great memories, and we are so close, and I love her, but I am not sexually attracted ot her very much. Im fine with kissing and cuddling, but its rare that I am drawn to relaly doing it myself...I kidna feel like we are relaly good friends..but REALYL good friends, becuase we go everywhere together, do everything together, we live near eachother and can get to eachothers houses through the woods, we hang in the woods for hours, we walk naked through the woods...but I am not sexually drawn to her... I want to know what it is like to be sexually drawn to somebody...and I feel that I am more attracted ot guys...so I think what Im trying ot say is- I want a boyfriend, but what the hell do I do? Any advice is welcoem, even if it consists of callign me an idiot Cheers, Dylan
im a bull dyke and it took a while i had to expeament a long time me first kiss from a girl helped a lot. so ask a friend to help and youll kow. thats what i did any way.
I can't help but wonder if walking through the woods naked with her is giving her a message that you might not want to send. For me, I had a pretty strong awareness very early that I was attracted to guys. I might see an attractive girl and think "nice," but I'd see an attractive boy and think "WOW!!!!!" Are there any guys you react to? I know that New Hope is probably one of the best--if not the best--places in Pennsylvania for gay people. Are there any gay youth groups in your area? I'd love to give you better advice, but I'm looking for a boyfriend as well and I'm not entirely sure what the best way to go about it is.
New hope is defintiely a gay town, but as for the amount of gay kids in my school, you'd be surprised ot hera that theres not as many as you would think...besides me, theres only one or two other openly gay/bi kids. EVERYONE in the school is DEFINTIELY open and tolerates homosexuality, but theres just not that many gay kids... Yeah..Im the same way...I see a hot girl and go "aweosme" or "nice" but when I see a hot guy, I go "AWESOME!" lol As for sending the wrong message, you may be right, but we both understnad that we were going to do it with all of oour other friends, so it was more of a matter of being open with eachother rather than a hint at wanting sex. WE'll see, I'll try to talk to her about it sometime. Cheers, Dylan
*stomps out ignorance* I seriously would if that were the reality of the situation, and I lived in your town or very nearby... If it's causing real concern, you could find a way to approach her about it and ascertain whether she felt/feels uncomfortable in that situation. It sounds like it isn't even a big deal; thats pretty cool that the two of you are so comfortable, I don't have any friends like that... and I've known one of them since I was four (haven't talked to him in like two years because he moved away when I was in fourth grade). Another one I've known since first grade; I was seven. ... This is a random thought, but the number 7 seems to have a lot of good and bad karma; and an amazing amount of Fung Sui. So many things in my life have uncanny connections to the number 7. Anywho... Ya, a really close friendship is nice; if you can understand somebody enough to be comfortable in just about every situation with them, that is a compassionate friendship.
No offence, but I really don't think you can know that you're 'bi' at 15. A lot of people (myself included!) think they're gay/bi when they're your age, but it usually for obscure reasons with little to do with sexuality. (quote) I want to know what it is like to be sexually drawn to somebody (end quote) I think that says it all... You're too young to be bothering yourself with this bullshit. Enjoy your childhood ffs!
I disagree with your entire statement; I realized at a very young age that you don't fall in love with someone's body, you fall in love with their mind and spirit; regardless of what their outward appearance may be. Of course, that doesn't mean that everyone isn't tempted by mere lust... but you get the idea.
I am not in love with people's bodys, that is never what will make me be in love with someone...I do knwo that I am bi or gay because I DEFINITELY have interest in guys...I sometimes think that I may be gay because although I love my girlfriend to pieces, I dont have much sexual attraction to her, or any other girl. But then again..I sort of do...Like i said...it is very litlte sexual attraction...but with guys, I fantasize about htem way more than girls. s3504fgf39= Confusion I should talk to her...that always works. Cheers, Dlyan
(quote) I realized at a very young age that you don't fall in love with someone's body, you fall in love with their mind and spirit; regardless of what their outward appearance may be. Of course, that doesn't mean that everyone isn't tempted by mere lust... but you get the idea. (end quote) I agree. But, I don't see how this contradicts my statement about 15 being too young to be talking about "being" gay or whatever...
Because it doesn't matter what age you are. You can fall in love with somebody at just about any age where you can recognize the feeling. I felt very strongly for both girls and boys before I was even 10; I never chose to pursue a relationship at that time though, for not so obvious reasons...
Jim, are you gay/bi or did you "just" think you were at 15 ? just because YOU were questioning, doesn't mean this kid can't know for sure. At 15 I was sure I was gay because I had zero interest in girls, same at 16, same again at 17, 18, 19 and beyond. quote: A lot of people (myself included!) think they're gay/bi when they're your age, but it usually for obscure reasons with little to do with sexuality. unquote: It is up do Dylan discover his sexuality whether it be gay/bi or even straight. He and only he knows what is in his heart and how he feels.
