Why do guys go cold afterwards?

What goes through male minds in the twilight time after sex.
Are you thinking "What is this thing next to me" or " I could sure use some rice chrispies" or does your mind just go pleasantly blank?

Just curious

 

Depends, on anything and everything influencing the mind. The great thing about masturbating though is, it gives you controll back so that you can not look a girls asses every time they walk by. I don't know about sex, but I am going to answer this anyway.

 

it depends on the individual, my mind would race between perverted thoughts and just about anything...

 

yeah, basically it's about 15-30 minutes of clarity for us.
i'm pretty sure every great scientific and philosophy breakthrough came within that small window of clarity.

/or when they were really baked. hard call.

 

It's kind of like a mild high. Kind of a twilight sleep of deep thought and peacefullness, boarderline conscious dreaming.
How about for the females???

 

Depends on the person ... is she someone I've been dating just casually, or someone I'm in love with? With the former, it could be anything from "Wow, that was a great time" to "Wanna grab some coffee?" to "Are you ready to go again yet?"

But if it's the latter, it's more likely a quiet feeling of profound contentedness.

And, yeah ... What about the ladies? This is a great thread, cob.

 

I'm usually like -So that's it then?

Seriously though, so many of my g-friends have been seriously hurt after having sex with someone they thought loved them. What scares guys away? Is it thoughts of commitment, morning breath, or is their a perception shift where a woman who gives in somehow a less valuable human being?

I get the impression that the nicer variety of male just gets scared, but my knowledge ends there.

 

Personally, cobcottage, I think you are over-analyzing it. And the answer, generally, is none of the above. The answer is simply this. Men have a very, very deep rooted instinct to spread their seed. This instinct is what makes men sex-crazed most of the time. As soon as their seed has been spread this urge is supressed greatly, and their priorities shift as a result.

For instance, before sex a man is usually willing to stay in bed with you the whole night. Afterwards his priorities shift and he may realize that he has go home so he can get ready for work in the morning. Anyways, you get the picture.

 

ahh i hate that "theory". i would like to counter it with the point that women, truly, are the ones who would have the bigger sex drive.. because women need to find the strongest sperm, thus having sex with multiple men while she is fertile would allow the strongest, fastest sperm to reach her egg first, and as such she would have the best possible genes passed on to her baby. the man, on the other hand, would only need to screw one woman, and make sure that no other man had sex with her. men aren't any more sexual than women. it's an individual difference that varies among individual people, not two separate worlds of male and female. having a penis doesn't men you're allowed to be a jerk to your partner after sex. i'm sorry, i just think the argument that men are "designed" that way is ignorant and irrelevant, and it is certainly not a justification.

but anyway, to the original poster, i'm confused about your question. were you refering to just the few minutes after sex, or were you talking about how the relationship changes in general after the couple starts having sex?

 

I think true peace will come when true electronically enforced empathy can be achieved

then we'll all know what other afterglows are like

 

If I have a connection with the girl then I think about her but if it's someone I'm just screwing then I think about things I have pending or sports.

 

I know some guys don't like to cuddle after sex but I don't mind it, in fact I like it. But some women turn into motormouths after they've gotten laid, and I find that annoying. A little sweet talking afterwards is OK, but yack yack yack yack yack yack yack yack yack yack yack yack yack yack yack.......what's up with that?! Just chill out and feel the afterglow woman!!

 

The more interested I am in the relationship and the truely connected companionship that comes with it, the less urgency I have for engaging in sex. Although the sex that eventually occurs is very fulfilling. And vice versa. If I am physically attracted to someone but don't feel as connected the more likely I am to initiate sex more quickly and the more likely I am to move on afterwards. In my opinion be warned if a guy tries to initiate sex very early if you aren't ready. Either his hormones are going absolutely crazy (hey I've been there) or he may not be that interested in the relationship. Either way and depending on what you want, you may want to think twice.

 

you totally missed my point lawngirl. i never said that it justified being a jerk. i was merely explaining why some guys have such a mood shift from being nice and loving to being a jerk. as humans we should be able control this desire to "go cold" and still be loving towards our partners.

and regarding your other comment, it is arguable which sex has the stronger sex drive. although, i can tell you this, as a member of the male sex, that sex for us is a constant itch on the back of our head (you decide which one). and i think i will speak for every male when i say that our desire is insatiable and constant. no offense, but when that guy friend of yours looks at you that way, he's thinking about how hard he wants to fuck you- if your even slightly attractive.

 

i cant tell you about most men but if its jsuta chick im banging then its get up and go time afterwards, its jsut to awkward to stay wehn there is no emotional attachment.
but when there is emotional attachment im 100% down for the snugglin and sweetalk and fallin asleep holding each other.

 

Vibrators for the soul!

 

Because MOST of the time, we do all the work...if you know what I mean. But, it's not always that way. I am usually very hot and sweaty afterwards, so I want to cool down a bit. Other times, it takes a lot of energy out of you, so you are kind of in a dazed and sleepy state.

That's my attempt to answer your question.

 

I like to spoon after making whoopie it makes the girl feel special and maybe get some more. Everyone is different but i wish a girl that i slept with would just get up and leave so i can feel used and dirty because that would be great

 

Okay, what I say here may be true of me only, or me and some other guys, or me and lots of other guys, or whatever...

It seems to be a biological thingie that immediately after orgasm, something happens that shuts down the libido almost completely. It has happened to me mostly after masturbating, but also once or twice after sex. It's like suddenly there is absolutely no turned-on-ness, and you almost wish you were somewhere else.

It is not guaranteed, and it can easily be overcome if you simply try to remain turned on.

I don't mean to overstate it, because I can just as easily (and have) stay hard after cumming and keep right on fucking, without interruption or even time to regain hardness. I'm blessed that way, yes.

But what I am saying is that if other guys are like me, it is possible for them to experience some sort of weird cessation of arousal instantly after orgasm.

If you want to blow a man's mind, ask him about this, and tell him that you hope he can work to overcome it, with your help to keep him aroused. He will probably be surprised that you know this happens to a guy.

Now of course, there may be those guys out there who are interested only in getting themselves to orgasm and then going to sleep. Those would be the guys who are experiencing what I am talking about, but consciously are not the kind of guy who is interested in being caring to his woman and making sure that she gets satisfied before they go to sleep.

Blue skies,
-Jeffrey

 

hahahahahhaa dude my mom says "makin whoopie"