I used to be such a layed back person when I was a single mom. Now I am in a crappy relationship with my DH, and I am always uptight and pissed. Background: He is verbally abusive, depressed and paranoid...thanks to all the acid he hit as a teen. (thanks ACID! You are grrrrreat!) )-: Well, actually, he wasn't ALWAYS like this. I don't want any flames thrown here, but he quit drinking, smoking, and weed last year and ever since then he has been a jerk. He is very angry and those were his "outs" when he got angry. Now he has none. BUT...We are NOT looking to start back up again because the troubles form those things were much worse than these troubles. ANYWAY! Because of all of his frivilous behaviors as a teen, he missed out on sooo much that he should have learned, like just common sense stuff. Respect. basic things that you learn by trial and error as a teen. So now he is like a 12 year old learning new things and asking me WAY too many questions and I could just rip his head off! (IS this an obvious ANTI-overdosing-on-drugs-campaign yet? (-: ) So I just eat his anger when he is around and have noticed that I have been taking it out on my dear sweet children! I love them to death and want only the best, but it is like I can't help it anymore...it has become too much for me to be married to a child and have to take care of him when he is supposed to be supporting me and vice versa. What are some things that I can do to learn to chill out with my kids? I used to love going out and exploring and stuff..music festivals, but now I feel jsut dumb when it comes to stuff like that. Like I am not in the loop, or whatever? We are leaving here for awhile so that he can calm down and get his stuff together, but who knows? We are going to a really cool town and staying with a friend for a bit. Very liberal city so maybe I will be able to chill out for awhile? But what do y'all do after a hard day to keep you from losing it with your kids? Again, not looking for the suggestion to "burn one"...... Thanks in Advance! OH yeah! Kids are: Kaya=5.5 years Anya=10 months
Hi There, I feel your pain. My kids are the same exact ages as yours. In the evenings, we try to sit down and have a family dinner together. It's really hard for us because DH is never home (works two jobs). But, just sitting at the dinner table together and sharing a meal can be so relaxing. It gives you a minute to connect with them and maybe do some reflecting about the day. If at all possible, try to take time for yourself. Even if it means just a hot hot bath, or to read a book. Try to keep a creative outlet, for example: mine is drawing or sewing. After I have created something, I always feel that I have accomplished something more than just the project. It's like I transfered any negative energy and thoughts/feelings into whatever it was that I was doing. Just refreshing. Good luck mama! You'll get centered again, and you're doing the right thing here. You've taken the first step, getting those kids out of the abusive and self destructive situation. Peace, Lena
*hugs* hate to be down on your hubby and all, but your problems are a direct result of his, and HE needs to get his crap together, but you know that, and it sounds like he does too. Ugh, i do not blame you for being a mess right now though. Don't be so hard on yourself. Just try to find some fun stuff to do with the little ones, and get your mind off it for awhile. Staying with a friend will really help. You just need a break mama. There's nothing like a big, messy, art project to make everyone smile. Maybe you can get out some paints, or teach the kids to tie-dye or something.
Where in Wisconsin do you live?If you are going to Madison... you said a liberal city... and Madison is pretty much the liberal city in wisconsin... there's lots of fun stuff to do wtih the kids here! like the zoo and there are tons of great parks!
Ha! yup it was Madison! pretty sad that there is only one cool town in this whole state! We had a pretty fun vacation.....went to the farmer's market, the kids museum, swimming at the lake and had a cookout. I also took the girls exploring to the park and a big huge field where we looked for wildlife. It was fun for us....not as relaxing as I thought it would be...but fun none the less. Thanks for all of the advice! I am going to some groups right now to help me to deal with my husband, but change doesn't happen overnight. Or for us..over the course of a year. He has a lot to figure out, and the weekend didn't cut it. I wish I could get time to myself! he works second shift and is gone from 12:30 pm to 12:20 am, so we barely see each other and he won't take the kids anyway....grrrrr. I KNOW that I need "me" time! I haven't been away from my kids more than 2 hours in the last year. I fell like I am always on call and I think that is what makes me uptight.
Sweetpeace, Hmm glad to hear you had a fun weekend...Yeah it does suck that Madison is the only fun place in Wisconsin. Do you have a friend that would be willing to take your kids for a day? Just so you can get away for a while? Im sorry you are so stressed right now but I hope that things work out for you! If you ever need to talk send me a pm! Peace and Love Kat
