How young is too young?

I have a friend who is twenty-six years old and has fallen in love with a fifteen year old kid. She swears he is more mature than most teenagers his age and that if I was her friend, I would accept their love. I'm sorry... I don't understand, could someone maybe explain this to me so I can continue being her friend? It may be too late since I have already passed judgements and I feel awful about that... I know falling in love isn't a matter of logic, but shouldn't there be a line there somewhere?

 

as long as she understands that this will be a hands-off love....

 

How could that be? She is twenty-six years old and I have known her for over ten years... she isn't an innocent thing. The kid is cool as hell and I do believe he does understand whats going on, I just don't think he "gets" it.

 

it's like the whole teacher and student thing, and they just got married, so I don't know anymore, I used to think it was sick, maybe these loves can be real but she better not touch him or she'll end up in jail just like the teacher did.

 

Too young is any age where they are unfit emotionally or mentally to accept consequences and unabel to make mature decisions.

 

I agree.

 

I think it depends on circumstances, and intent.

I know this guy that is 29 years old and if there was any possibility, he could get in my pants with just a pat on my ass.

I'm 16, bisexual, and experienced sexually, so if I were to come on to him would he be taking advantage of me??

If I Suck or Fuck guys that are 15,16 or 17 am I too young?

Then why would I be too young if I went down on or fucked someone who is 29?

I was in a gondola going up Whiteface Mountain,in Lake Placid with this guy who was 19, maybe 20 (I didn't ask, he was HOT!!!) and I got him hard then gave him a blow job. I made all the moves so who's fault is that? Should he have stopped me? Would you have? If he had tried to fuck me he could have, but he didn't

 

my parents are 16 years apart (now stop and think about that for a second.... a 16 year old going into the hospital 3 days after his birthday and picking out a new born baby and saying yep that's her... 16 years 3 days, it's creepy) and they hate each other, only reason they're not divorced is they're both sickly dependant upon eachother and neither believes in divorce sans adultery.... 11 years difference is a bad idea, even without him being a sophmore in high school, a tenth grader, 5 years out from being ten MAD YOUNG... their age difference is more than half of his full life....... yeah if he were sleeping with even an eighteen year old it wouldn't be creepy to me but 20 something, that's a little bit creepy there

just my personal experience.....

 

my sisters is 23 and her partner is 53. at first i found it hard to accept... really hard, as they met when she was 16. they didnt consumate the relationship untill she was 18, because he still felt that it was morally wrong. i love her and theres alot worse people in the world. as long as its all above board, love shouldnt be bound by age, just like it shouldnt be bound by skin colour or religion.

 

Why is it that people see a older man and a younger woman as being ok but when it's reversed it's all of a sudden weird?

 

My problem isn't about the age difference per se, I am concerned about: a) the legalities of their relationship and b) losing a good friend over my opinion. Also, if my friend was a man and the object of his affection a fifteen year old girl, I would feel the EXACT SAME WAY.

 

Well, here's the thing: Is your "friend" making you an accomplice? If she is, (meaning you KNOW something illegal is going on) she is no friend of yours and I would tell his parent's pronto.

 

In all honesty, it would freak me out. It just doesn't seem right to my brain. Most people under 18 just don't understand responsibility and the real world (some over 18 don't and some under 18 do, but generally speaking). Being in high school isnt' the real world. Hell, even being in university isn't the real world but it's closer.

He just seems too young to me. I can't even imagine dating someone his age, and I'm only 19.

 

Being that my brother is 15 years old, I have a pretty good feel of 15 year old boys. There is something kind of wrong for an adult to be interested in a freshman (or maybe sophomore) in high school.

All I have to say is that is pretty creepy. Although personally I disagree with people under 16 being in sexual relationships, no matter how mature they think they are. But that's just me.

How did your friend meet this guy?

 

I think she was a friend of his mother's... listen, people. I understand and appreciate your comments/advice and know that I agree with EVERYONE against the relationship 100%. No one has yet to tell me how I should deal with the situation or even if I should tell her how I feel. As a mom, I would lose my mind of my fifteen year old daughter was dating a man thirteen years her senior. Anything else, is a matter of interpretation.

 

I know you're against what she's doing, but it's really not your decision. I think you should let her know that you don't agree with it, but don't take any action otherwise. However, if you sense her being in any way controlling of the poor kid, immediately tell his parents. The innocense of a child is worth more than a friendship. Then again, how innocent is he really?

 

I said what I think you should do, but to add to that, I would talk to his parent's no matter what. Not necessarily TELLING on your friend, just make sure they keep an eye on things. If they are cool with it though I might leave it alone.

Otherwise: what "Oh so strange" said.

 

I said what I think you should do, but to add to that, I would talk to his parent's no matter what. Not necessarily TELLING on your friend, just make sure they keep an eye on things. If they are cool with it though I might leave it alone.

Otherwise: what "Oh so strange" said.

 

Um...that's how you land her friend in jail. I doubt the parents would approve.

Really it depends on the person... I've known 30 year olds who were mentally 12, so what can you do? Respect their decision... no one is getting raped &/or hurt, so no harm is done. You just have to remember that not everyone is the same. Love is love & when both partners are able to deal w/ adult choices like sex & relationships then everything is fine.

Also, if you disapprove, sit her down & tell her. Then maybe you guys can share both of your views & learn. Communication is key.

But yeah, parents is a no-no, imo. Nothing will be accomplished but anguish & pain if they disapprove...especially if love is involved.

Peace,
LL'ed

 

i'm just going to agree with what most people are saying here....
it's hard to find a mature 15 year old....and trust me, my sister is 15 and the people she runs with aren't exactily what I'd call mature.
But, on the other end of the spectrum, I've seen a bunch of 30 year olds who are the other end of the spectrum and are most immature than a 13 year old.
If he seems like he's the real thing, and your friend cares about him, then it may just be best to put your feelings aside and support her in whatever she decides to do. There's a chance that if you do tell her what you think that she'll resent you for it. It is her life, and although friends should look out for eachother, sometimes just supporting them is better, even if you don't agree.
maybe ask her in a round about way if she really knows what she's getting involved in....don't mention that you think that what she's doing is wrong, cuz that's just going to make her defensive...but if she sounds genuine, then leave it be. It may last for a month, it may last forever, but she'll get out of it what she's meant to.