i hate to admit this but i am a jealous freak when it comes to other girls and my boyfriend. I know jealousy is horrible,negative, destructive blah blah blah, i know it'll drive my boyfriend away and all that stuff. but i cant help it. I try and keep it inside most of the time so as not to come across as wierd or scary, but ooow it hurts so bad. Sometimes i think it would be better not to be in love so i wouldn't have to feel it. It can be anything like talking to a girl,laughing with another girl... i know I'm crazy! Anyway I need some serious advice and help in dealing with this,getting over it because it really is effecting me. Please dont write here calling me a stupid jealous bitch or whatever, im looking for advice not insults. thanks
look in the mirror and love yourself. Be vain and self absorbed. That doesn't mean you are shallow and superficial, it just programs your brain to love yourself more. I used to be this huge jealous bitch, and I hated it. I acted like a fool every time there was a girl AROUND my hunny. Now, I figure, hey! I'm a hot bitch and if he fucks up, that's HIS loss! I don't know, saying stuff like that worked for me...
I used to be a very jealous boyfriend. To the point that I pushed my girlfriends away. I always blamed it on other things but it took me 4 years of being alone that helped me realize my jealousy issues. I'm in a relationship with a wonderful girl now and I completely trust her. Maybe that's the question that you should ask yourself. If you feel secure in this relationship. If the answer the that is no, then figure out why.
It sucks to be jealous.. I can be.. Not nearly as bad as I once was.. I have come to realize it is their loss.. If they cheat on you, why would you want to be with them anyways.. So their is no point in being jealous.. You just have to love yourself and let it go... If they are gonna do something to hurt you they are gonna do it regardless of you being jealous or not... So be happy and trust them
you just have to learn to love yourself more, i think. don't put so much stock in him talking to other females/joking/laughing with them. he is allowed to have friends of the opposite sex. his connections with them are not going to replace his connection with you. you have to let him have friendships with other people, and if you don't it's going to push him away. maybe you should even talk to him and say, "hey, i have these feelings. i know that it's silly for me to have these feelings, but they exist and i wanted to get them off my chest and tell you. i trust you, i love you, and i don't want to be jealous." maybe telling him you have these jealousy issues will help you overcome them a little.
Thanks everone. I'm gonna try not to freak out anymore,but its so hard. I think I'm a little insecure and just assume that one time he's going to run off with someone. But I'm trying not to anymore, I will tell myself I'm hot and sexy etc. lol I'm chilling out,as of now...hopefully!
Sometimes jealousy can be horrible, other times it can be kind of a turn on.. IMO.. I used to get jealous when I was younger but now if my guy is flirting with/staring at someone I just say whether I think she's hott or not.. I give him my opinion instead of a verbal abusing.. There's no point in being jealous anyway, it will not solve anything.. You will still look the same, and be the same person you were the day before.. Hopefully things will start to look up for you =)
follow headymoechick's adivce (especially that^^^^) and you will feel a lot better about yourself and your relationship
I used to be a jealous person with my first boyfriend. But my mom told me, why be jealous when you can do the same thing that he is doing. If he likes to flirt with women, flirt with men or if he tells you that he is going to the store, but stays gone for a couple of hours, when the store is just a block away, do the same thing to him, ect.. At first, I thought my mom's logic was wrong. It took me awhile to comprehend that technique, because I just wasn't that type of person, but it really worked.
EEK! if he flirts with other girls and lies about going to the store it sounds like you have something to worry about. You are just hurting eachother playing games like that.
No thats not what he's doing, BrowntripleQQ was just giving examples of stuff. I know that the jealousy is my problem cos he doesn't flirt with other girls,well not when I'm there anyway! I'm working it out though,getting bit better i think.
how is everything going? have things gotten better for you? i think it's easy for humans when they fall in love with someone to try, unconsciously, to take ownership of that person. you just can't do that. he is his own person, and he should be allowed to have friends who are male AND female without you being jealous. and i know you know that and it's good you are trying to understand that. i really do think most jealousy stems from feelings of inadequacy. but you AREN'T inadequate...obviously he wouldn't be with you if you were.
