Is my friend a lesbian? My bf thinks so! LOL

OK I have known my friend (a girl) for a few years. And as many of you may know from my other posts...i think I mentioned that I am a little curious and attracted to girls. My friend has never had a bf and she is 22. She has mentioned that some guys are cute....and that she wants to have sex. She lies to people and tells them that she has a boyfriend but I know she doesnt. She is pretty (i think), but not really girlish at all. She is into surfin, snowboarding, skateboardnin, and video games....I love video games as well. We went out the other day and she wouldnt let me pay for anything...and she doesnt really have a job..she works once in a while. My boyfriend is afraid I might leave him for her...hahha...even though I told him I am not gay. He insists she is, but I am skeptikal ...whaddya all think??

 

If she isn't gay, then there is no reason why she shouldn't have a boyfriend. Skateboardin, video games, c'mon! This is every guy's dream chick, a dudette who likes everything we like! An she even pays for meals!

 

Hahaha my point exactly...shes has guys goin nuts over her...I know they want her! But she wont go out with them...she always makes excuses like "Hes kinda weird, too old, to young...etc." She has told me things like "So did you guys have sex?, next time do it hard for me...since I am not gettin any"... I mean what the heck is up with that. I dont care if she is gay thats not a problem...I was just wonderin thats all....and my little bi curious thing too....geez if she was, could I control myself haha?

 

Ever think to just ask her?

 

yeh just ask her! Maybe shes just picky with men and doesn't wana go off with just anyone or maybe she is deeply and madly in love with you and couldn't bear to be with anyone but you! haha

 

Hmmmm...madly in love with me.... now theres a thought....I am too afraid to ask her....we arent that close....but are hangin out more recently....maybe if I get closer to her and feel more comfortable I might ask her...

 

Does it matter... is it going to change anything if she is?

I do many of those things, doesnt mean I"m gay... just means I like to stand on my own two feet, and I love to share the love with my friends... no harm in that

 

Nicely said...

 

you won't ask, but you'll post about her for everyone to see! You bitch!

lol , j/k. really though, just ask. she doesn't sound gay, just cool, but whatever. I'm sure whether she is or not, she won't be offended by asking.

 

Before you ask her if she is gay, you might want to figure out why it matters to you.

 

Spend some time with her, and when the opportunity presents itself, put yourself in a position for her to kiss you. If she doesn't look awkward, just brush her lips ith your own and touch her hand. See what happens. If she responds, then do some "exploring".

I was in the same situation not too long ago. A little different, we were kind of eyeing each other in class and in the shower after Gym, and then looking quickly away.

I ended up inviting her over for a sleepover and made sure I wore something sexy and revealing and we have been a couple ever since. At the time I had no idea that I was attracted to girls.

You don't have to ask anything, just allow for the two of you to be together, alone, and in a way that presents the opportunity for something to happen. Then see if she makes a move or make one yourself. If you get a few seconds of eye contact, go for it!!

And you can still have your boyfriend, allthough it's better to have the gf and share boys!

 

Ah I am the same retro

 

Maybe you should tell her that you are bi-curious. That might clear the air for her to be able to tell you if she is and if she doesn't, then her reaction may or may not give it away.

And just because she likes to do things that guys do and doesn't have a boyfriend doesn't make her a lesbian. I have guys who are into me because I have a tendency to act like an extreme guy sometimes, but I don't have a boyfriend. And it's simply because I just don't like any of them enough to date them. That might just be the case with her.

 

I don't know why, but I think thats a great story.

 

I think that 'ConfusedLittleOne' should give this girl a big hug & kiss on the lips & ask if she can 'sleep-over' the same night.Then get into bed & cuddle up all naked.
Put some sensual music on the Stereo - like:

'More,more,more' , by Andrea True Connection.

*sigh* Girls have all the fun nowdays-blokes just imagine it.:H

 

if it matters to you, talk to her about it. but find out why it matters to you. do you want to be her girlfriend? you said you're curious, but you are in a committed relationship, and your boyfriend is concerned that you might leave him for her, right? how is her sexuality pertinant to your relationship with her?

she might not be a lesbian. maybe she's bi. maybe she is asexual. maybe she is just picky. maybe something happened in her past (rape, abuse, incest, divorce problems, disease/illness, trauma, etc.) that makes her not want to have a romantic relationship. you never know, and you know what they say about assuming things...

just out of curiosity, when did surfing become an indication that one might be a lesbian? i live at the beach, so it's very common for straight girls to surf. come to think of it, i've never met a lesbian surfer.

hmm... i used to skateboard all the time. i love video games. i've gone surfing and snowboarding. but i'm not a lesbian. i'm really cute (and slightly narcissistic? :& ), but i'm not real girly and i don't wear makeup. hell, sometimes i even like to take my friends out and buy them dinner or a drink or whatever. i've taken my gay male friends out and payed their way, and i'm not trying to get in their pants! i like to make my friends feel special and appriciated, and when i have a little extra cash, i like to spend it on them. if i thought they were taking it seriously, like some sort of sexual advance, it would make me uncomfortable enough to stop paying for them. maybe your friend just missed you lately, or wanted to remind you of all the fun times you've shared. maybe she just wanted to be nice, or maybe she felt indebted to you for past generosity on your part towards her.

do you have any legitimate reason to think she is a lesbian? have you found her girl-on-girl porn stash? have you walked in on her and another girl half naked? has a groggy female answered her phone early in the morning? if she flirts with you, is it in a way with serious intent, or is it just lighthearted fun?

if you decide to talk to her, i hope you have good intentions. you should not ask to satisfy your own curiosity, you should ask for her sake, and for the things you can do for her. if she is a lesbian, she might need support coming out or understanding things. maybe she needs support dealing with asexuality or past trauma. so ask her in a caring, supportive way, not in a sexually motivated way. if it turns out that she is trying to cope with, say, an issue from her past, then she might hide that from you when you talk to her if you have obvious sexual motivations or aren't respectful.

 

also, don't accuse her of being a lesbian right away or anything. just ask her about her sexuality, maybe point out that you noticed she's never had a boyfriend before. create an open environment. do not judge her actions. don't say anything awful or stereotypical about how she likes certain sports, therefore she must be a lesbian. do not accuse her of anything. if you straight away ask her if she's a lesbian, she will probably feel defensive. be gentile and caring. then she can tell you what her situation really is.

i don't know how close you two are, and i'm not trying to judge, so ignore this next part if need be. personally, i would not question someone's sexuality unless i was prepared to be super supportive and attend pflag/lgbt group meetings with her. if you won't do that for your friend, then her sexuality is none of your business. again, i'm not trying to be rude or judgmental.

 

Hmmmm I dont really think its right to straight out ask her.....I really wouldnt want to offend her or create this awkwardness...oh and the surfin and all the other stuff being related to lesbianism is stuff that my boyfriend said...I like to do some of those things to, I am not stereotyping lol. But the thing is...maybe her sexuality is important to me cuz i am attracted to her...I have really known her only about 2 years and started talking to her and hangin out with her again recently. I am a very open minded person and Know alot of gay people...sexuality doesnt matter to me. But in this case, its just sorta a curiousity of mine...and the fact that my boyfriend is freaking out about me hanging out with her....I dont think if she was gay, that I would leave him for her. But then again I cant say it wouldnt affect me...being bi curious and all. She will be my friend no matter what, maybe its the fact that my bf is all paranoid that has me wondering....and he has also asked me if i was gay a few times lol...go figure....

 

Well My boyfriend put all these ideas in my head that she might be....i.e...the surfin thing, skateboarding. He is paranoid and overprotective and swears she is gay. Whether she is or isnt I am fine with it...I am very open minded. Maybe its that I am curious myself....and am attracted to her...maybe thats why it matters to me. Its just this vibe I get when I am with her...cant explain it . Its nice. I am not saying I would leave my bf for her....but if it came out that she was gay...it would have an effect on me, since I am bi curious . Either way I will always be there for her as a friend.