im a peaceful person and.....

even though ive been through hell and back, i forgive everyone.

i CANT forgive myself like i can others.

i mean, people have done terrible things to me, i forgive them.

myself? i beat up all the time in my mind. i cant seem to forgive myself and treat myself like i would anyone else *though i know i am just human and that is irrational AND i try*

maybe that is why even though i wont do it (i hope), sometimes i just wanna break things and hurt someone.

 

i used to hate myself, but now i'd say i'd rather harm someone than harm myself. i don't know what advice i can give. i'm not really the best person to give advice. i just hope ya forgive yourself and learn to love yourself. i've made up that i'm in my own world and when someone doesn't like me it's their problem not mine. i hope that helps honey.

 

well me too. in some ways but im so weird. i got two selves.

 

like a split personality.

 

somedays i wish i could live and harmony, but most days i just want to kick the shit out of a lot of people. there's these guys at my skool who always make fun of me. i just want to run into them just once in society, so i can break their fuckin collar bone.

 

well, i was made the fuck fun of in jr. high and high school and i was timid. even punched by a dude in science class and everyone laughed cause i was a "lesbian"

and i had a brick thrown at my head. usually waited til home to cry.


maybe that's why i wanna beat someone now? i know im better then that though.... so i just hate myself at times.

 

most people left me alone by the time i got to highschool cause i started standin up for myself in junior high. one time in the eighth grade these chicks thought i was going to bring a gun to skool, so i got search. got kicked out of highschool for spittin on a teacher. then at my second skool went on home skool and got used to isolation. i'd say i stand alone in life.

 

if ya want to talk just pm me.

 

wow, thats just totally me! and it is so difficult to live with! people who hurt me, i will still be nice (although Im learning to stand up for myself). but when im nice, i still dont like myself... weird me

 

haha, i am just like that too! now, i dont HATE myself but i sure dont see anything special in myself. but man, you wanna talk about split personality:

 

..you know sweetheart, I am the same way, I wish you luck

<3 take care-