Been with Bf a while...yet have someone else thats crazy about me! Help!?

Ok if anyone has read any of my other posts they know my boyfriend has been an asshole in the past...and yes we are still together. But for about 5 months now...I have had this great guy at my work after me. My boyfriend dumped me at xmas and I almost went out with this co worker...but my dumbass got back with my ex. Now i would have to say my whole workplace is playin matchmaker and wants us together...even my family. And this guy is being pretty relentless...but I dont mind. I get all giddy and start blushing around him...*sigh*....he already asked me out knowing I have a boyfriend...but also knowing he doesnt treat me good. This co worker of mine is soooooo gorgeous and intelligent....romantic and we get along really good. But hes 23 and has never had a girlfriend...which i find odd. But anyway I had to turn him down...cuz I still love my bf. I am a forgiving person...and would never cheat cuz i know how it feels, as much as my bf has hurt me I still love him, but like everyone says..."wouldnt you want a great life instead of a good one?"...geeeeez I am torn...has anyone had this problem....lets just say, being in love with two people...or loving one and falling in love with another...before?? As much as I try to forget about the coworker....every time I see him I wonder if i can control myself.....and my boyfriend has no idea.

 

*sigh*

 

say to your b/f you want him to treat you better, respect you more, and will only give him one more chance. try not to hurt him when you say it but get your opinion across. if he cares enough about you then he'll change, if he doesn't then you have another person you could date.


COMMUNICATE!!!

 

Of course, you love your boyfriend, but that doesn’t mean he has the right to treat you like crap. Dump his ass this time around, so he can re-evaluate himself and his actions. If you two are really meant to be with one another, it will happen further down the road.

Now, this coworker sounds sketchy, but maybe it’s just me… If this coworker is going after you all the while knowing, you have a boyfriend, who is to say that if he dates you, he’s not going to be going after girls…if he clearly doesn’t know what the boundaries of relationship are.

I’m going to have to disagree with Outlaw… You cannot change a person that doesn’t want to change; they have to want to change themselves.

My advice is to dump your boyfriend and play single for a little while. This should be your time to figure out what you want, and just enjoy being single.

Do you really want to immerse yourself from one relationship to another so quickly?

I mean, just jumping into a new relationship with this coworker isn’t going to make your feelings for your boyfriend just disappear in to thin air…and to me, that seems exactly what you are trying to do.

 

that's exactly what I was thinking... I don't trust people who try and pursue a relationship with someone who isn't available (either because they're dating or simply not interested and have told that person as much... it's kindof creepy).

I think you need to really think on your current relationship, and sit down with that guy and discuss the problems you guys are having. You've acknowledged that he doesn't treat you with respect as much as he should, but does he realize that? No, you can't change someone who doesn't want to change - but if it's a "change this behaviour or we're done", some people really can pull through.

 

Oh well maybe I shouldnt have been so vague. Ok aroudn Xmas when my bf dumped me I was single for 2 weeks and people were saying "what do you think of Kyle?" I said that he was cool and i would go out with him..well word got to him...but then days passed and I got back with my bf...and that co worker was too late in asking me out. He wasnt pursing me until then...and yes now....but he sees it as I can do better so he doesnt feel bad about it, I guess. And its more like hes the shy one...and the whole store is pushing him to go for it...

 

Ugh another day at work...and I am gettin scared. Scared because all I could think about was this co worker...but yet I know its wrong to jump from one relationship to another. How can I stay there(at this job) and deny my feelings for him. Before it was easy when I wasnt around him....now its affecting me when im not working with him...whats up with that?? Ok my current boyfriend = Angry more than whats normal, verbal/emotionally abusive, bad family situation, has issues, is negative, no ambition, we have hardly anything in common. Co worker = easygoing, intelligent, in school, ambitious, positive, we have soooooooo much in common and get along great...and of course there is an attraction . The thing is my relationship with my bf b4 was soooooo bad cuz of his anger....so I thought it was all peachy, ya know the "hes changed thing/he will change"....then HE ADMITS to me that hes been holding his anger in so I wont get fed up and leave him. He said he was going to get help and never has. He tried to break up with me not too long after he proposed to me...saying he was afraid he was gonna hurt me (pysically or emotionally). But we stayed together. And now well...its becoming like it was b4....I am a bit scared to break up with him cuz of his anger.....I do love him...but wonder if its for the right reasons...and if love is a reason alone to keep a relationship together. We agreed if we met anyone else we would let each other know....but seriously the way he acts thats not an option. I care about him enough that I wouldnt want to hurt him....im in a bit of a pickle...yea thats what it is...a big one at that.......

 

Yes it has happened to me. I was in a relationship which I was quite unhappy in but scared to end and I met the most amazing girl in the world and I started falling in love with her. This girl was in the same situation, a bad relationship and fell in love with me too. So we both broke up with our partners and are now going out and madly in love. I can't advise you on what to do, but sometimes its worth the risk, and I guess sometimes it isn't, we were just very lucky.

 

_Let's not focus on the co-worker issue for a second & think about what your opinions of your current boyfriend are. If your best-friend came to you for advice regarding her relationship & she tells you that her boyfriend is:

What would you advice her to do? I am leaning towards: Maybe he's not the right guy.

He is telling you, loud & clear that he might hurt you, why are you not considering getting out of this relationship?

Personally, I don't think love alone is enough, there has to be respect & open communication paths, among a list of other things.

If I were you, I would end it with the current boyfriend & focus on myself for a while, try to figure out what is it that makes me "love" someone that doesn't treat me like I deserve. If it's meant to be w/the co-worker he would wait for you & allow you time/space to heal.

Best of lucks!

 

Well......i called my worked today to get my schedule and the coworker picked up and he was goin on break so we talked for a bit and it was so nice. Then I went to my bfs house and I wasnt feeling to well, but went anyway. He made a comment like to suck him off to get my mind off the pain...wow how considerate of him....I said that my cramps were bad...as if i needed to repeat myself. We layed there....in silence...for one: we have nothing in common, and 2....I was a little depressed about the whole situation. Then I feel like he bascially wanted me to leave. He said "why dont you go home since you dont feel good and kept insisting even though i said i wanted to stay!....So heres my take on this and if thats really the reason its fucked up. He wasnt gonna get any sex cuz he knew i didnt feel good....so whats the point in me being there?....anyone else see that that might be the case. I mean one comment he made to me a while ago was that If i didnt put out he would have stayed with his ex for sex and had me to talk to. Geez the more and more I remember....the less I like him, let alone love him. Does it sound like he only wants to see me for sex...cuz it does to me.

 

Yeah it does, get rid of that dick

 

_Yes.

 

Extremely Yes.

You don't have to take that kind of crap because there are lots of great guys out there.

Rowan

 

Check that, you don't have to take that kind of crap because you're a person and you deserve respect. Expect respect and let him know you don't appreciate his baggage. Once you expect to be respected he'll either respect you or he'll leave, and if he leaves he's not worth it.

Rowan

 

hey little 1....Listen....dump the wanker cos he is love wid ur pussy not you...u dont need this shit...u are in control in ur own life so do wat u will and another thin...love is not charity so dont make it in2 1 want....if u do finish it off wid him i know its gonna hurt a little, u gonan think abt the past and all dat shit but trust me it will go soon cos their is a guy which matchs u....think abt it good luck

X