he's 28 and ..me, 16

^ lol

 

Put up with?

 

Well, if being hit, molested, and raped is what you call equality, then I guess I need to step it up and start beating up on boys who can't defend themselves. I don't make assumptions, I make general comments regarding what's happened to me speaking from my own point of view. All I said was that in MY life, abusive guys have always been my own age and the decent guys have always been older. I also never said anything about needing my company to be earned. I simply expect equal respect, and the only place I've found that and that safe haven I need is with older guys.

And what's so wrong about being picky about guys? I'd rather be picky and not get hurt again rather than take any guy that comes by me and get physically hurt again.

 

I totally agree with you on this one... I do understand that age is just a number but this guy/s are way more experienced in every aspect of life and should know better. I suggest that you two look up the story of Amy Fisher and go beyond your age and be the adult enough to end it. When I was 16 I thought that I was in sooo much love with a guy that 17 but I came to find out that though we are still friends I really was never in love with him and I ended it 3 years later. 19 years old. I was with him for 4 years and thankfully I ended it then cause I just didnt want to be truthful with myself so I let things drag on and on.
Your heart is going to tell you crazy things when you are young. And though it feels good and pure, the truth will show. Try going on with your life without him and not dwelling on him... look at it in 6 months and you will see exactly what I am talking about. But if you still do feel the same way give it another 5 years. THEN you will see what I mean.

 

Yes, Put up with. That's the whole point. MOST men older than 25 or so would find an extended conversation with an 18 year old girl almost painful. A relationship?... Where's that pistol? I spent the day with two of them a few years back (don't read anything into that) and spent most of that time trying to figure out how to end the day early without hurting thier feelings. Given that every 18 year old girl isn't immature and silly, but a 20 or 30 something man who was "normal" wouldn't find much in that relationship. He'd be looking for a woman closer to his age and maturity level. Makes you ask, "What's wrong with him?" Sorry if that doesn't meet with your experience. I'm certainly no expert, and everyone's different. And it IS your life. Just something to maybe consider. If it's what you think it is, no harm done. Right?

 

This is the only completely true part of your post.

 

He's 28 and was dating a 16 year old girl........ when he should already have a wife and even kid by now....

No offense, but that guy's got issues, and is/was probably just using you to take advantage over you because of his age.

You were probably just too blind to see it.... most teens are.

 

Well, I think at 16, someone in their late 20s would be entirely too old for me. However, in a very short time (3 years) I've matured quite a bit. And I would not (and will not) have any trouble dating someone in their early 30s. I think my maximum age is 12 years older than me, but only if they've never been married or have children. I think after a big life change like that, your outlook changes. After that, you're on a different level from a young adult.

But who knows? I was saying differently just a few short months ago.

 

But matching a 20 year old and 30 year old are different....

Matching a 16 year old and an almost 30 year old is an even different story, because at 16 your mind and body haven't even fully matured yet, which most likely isn't true for anybody that is 20.

Just my opinion.

 

I'm 19 and my bf is 42. For me it's quite good.


He's experienced, financially secure, carefree, good shape, fresh, mature, wise, caring.

Any yup, I'm a little childish and naive, but that's what he loves about me. Makes him feel younger and less jaded. He loves listening to my music and trying out my hobbies, and I try his as well cuz we both have open minds and take it easy. We have so much in common and my parents don't mind and neither do my friends. We plan to get married soon.

I love looking up to him and he respects me in return.

So, do what feels right for you. Life is short.

 

excuse me?? 28 and already married and a kid?? I what world do you live?? Damn.. I'm almost 25 and even if I want children it will be in 10 years or so.. And I will never get married..

 

Thank you Beast, for proving that not all the "men" here are jealous haters.

 

Been in a relationship with someone who was 7 years older than me (started when I was 17, lasted two years, ended by me). I'm now the age he was when we started the relationship (24) and no offence to the young people I know and love from this forum, but I really can't imagine having a relationship with someone way younger than I am. It may be different when the male is the older one but still.. at any age below 20.. or hell, even below 25.. you are still evolving at a high rate.. emotionally, spiritually, intelectually.

Just ask yourself this.. will he still love you if you are more mature?

If a man is attracked to the 'free spirit' of a young girl.. will he still love her when she matures and gets more serious? Or.. what kind of men does it take to have a problem with interacting with women his own age (or a little bit younger?). Maybe there are a few very young hearted guys out there.. and the older you get the less age matters (since the evolving goes at a slower pass).. but 16 and 28? 19 and 42? Please girls.. get out of that situation.. you're holding on to a soapbubble that's gonna burst as soon as you mature any further.

 

*big grin*

Although my previous post was a bit harsh I do agree with you. Age difference is less important than 'position in life' difference. An unmarried 33 y/o is at a different position in life than a divorced father or two who's only 25.

So there's more to it than just age.. you're totally right.

 

I'm sorry, but I tried the whole dating a much older guy thing and it REALLY didn't work out, it was a bad situation that I didn't realize until I got out of it. I think that the big age difference relationships -VERY- rarely work out, and usually cause more damage when they end than a more normal relationship.

 

This is where I officially step out of this discussion. I know how some of you feel about this issue and your opinions aren't likely to change so rather then re-explaining over and over I'll just hush now

 

Ann-Akim, be careful, sometimes those nice older guy are out for nothing but sex. They think of a young girl as a prize, but realize too that they often think of young girls who are willing to sleep with them as whores. I've been through this many times, you think you've got a good relationship going with this older man when suddenly he starts acting like you don't exist or matter to him anymore. He impresses you with his maturity, his ease with money, and his ability to buy alcohol but you only impress him with your smell of youth and your childlike (in his eyes) beauty.. be aware of these things when dealing with older men...

 

Cry me a goddamn river.

 

one might be tempted to think that YOU were the jealous one...but of course, i know that's not true

 

True love destroys boundaries like age. If two people are happy with each other I don't see why a big age difference should be a problem.