Well let's get to some clue: let's get together and do iiiiit! ;p *sex keeps us true as human beings*
Sex is good as long as it is between a man and a woman in the sanctity of holy matrimony. Or two hot looking lesbos.
here are some things to do during crap sex: 1) Practise faking orgasms. 2) See how obviously fake an orgasm you can do without the other person/people noticing. 3) Get loud. Suddenly. 4) Act bored. 5) See how many different names you can shout out before he/she stops/hits/gags you. Celebrities are always good. 6) Pricktease in such a way that no-one could find it erotic, just really annoying. 7) Phone a friend. For a chat. Other options include parents, the Samaritans, Childline. 8) Order pizza. 9) Start crying. 10) Make disparaging comments about their hair, shoes, decor, dress-sense, etc. 11) Tell them about yr day at work 12) Try to name all 50 states. Or, to really shit them up, recite the Lord's Prayer backwards. 13) Scratch their back way too hard. 14) Call him/her unsexy petnames: Daddy, grandpa, love 15) Regress to when you were a child/a previous life. 16) Airfix 17) MSN. 18) Rohypnol. 19) Slug them. 20) Continuity errors: rapidly switch between being totally naked and wearing a false beard. 21) The same, but with a merkin, 22) Scream racist/homophobic/misogynistic (if yr a girl) insults. 23) Gender confusion: "Girl, I wanna suck yr cock", "Shove yr hot pussy up my ass".
Bug_Man, if you want to be gay, that's OK with me. Any way you want to live your life is alright by me. Just know that we're all here for you.
I'll s(up)port your sphincter Just remember that list, if you notice halfway through that I seem to have grown a beard, you're doing something wrong.