Assaulted

Hey everyone. About two weeks ago I was raped by an acquaintance. I tried to charge him but he told the cops that I 'liked it' lol. Anyways, I'm dealing ok but I have the occassional moments of complete despair. I was just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience, if they could offer any help or suggestions on how they made it through, how it's affected your life since. This is all so fresh in my mind I'm too confused to even think about it really. It's like the whole event is clouded over right now. I can barely even remember details of it anymore. Anything helpful you can say would be appreciated.

 

Get an attourney. "Liking it" is NO excuse for what he did and the law will side with you on this. Dont let the fact that its hazy stop you. Please please please get an attorney and get justice. You didn't deserve that happening to you and he shouldnt get away with doing that.

 

Well I went to the cops. I had a rape kit, interrogation and videotaped complaint. But the case could work against me since I was there voluntarily and admitted to making out with him. They said they don't have enough proof to charge him.

 

are you getting any kind of counselling?

 

Oh yeah. I already had an outreach worker before it happened, so she's a big help. I just wanted to know if there was anyone who understands what I'm going through who is willing to talk about. Or if someone needs help I'm here.

 

i understand what your going through. i haven't been raped, but i personally know people who have been and personally know people who've gotten away with it. i'm here if you want to talk about what's going on. i can't stand when this type of thing happens.


god damnit...being there voluntarily and making out does not mean he was right to do what he did.

 

Oh, I know he had no right under any circumstance. But when it came down to my word against his they said there's nothing to do really. He would most certainly get off (no pun intended) lol.

 

good, i'm really glad to hear that you've got someone irl to talk to. i havent been thru sexual assault personally, but i've gone to court to testify for someone who has. the guy walked, he had friends who said that the grrl wanted it. even though she said no. it really sucked. she's doing okay now though. she had lots of counselling and support from friends and fam. i think it probably really helps to talk about it.

 

its good to talk to people. but i've found it more helpful to talk to my close friends than anybody else. but talking is always beneficial. i really hope everythign works out for you

 

Listen. The cops will tell you not to press the issue because its more work for them. Talk to an attourney and find out their opinion. DONT BELIEVE COPS FOR LEGAL ADVICE. This is not right and damnit you deserve better then "not much we can do. Sorry... NEXT" No... thats bullshit. Talk to an attourney...

 

I don't have any particular advice to offer, but I echo the previous posters' sentiments. In addition to an attorney, find allies who will support you and argue and fight on your behalf. I am genuinely sorry you were victimzied by this awful man, and I hope you find justice. Best wishes.

 

Thanks everyone for your advice. And dammit Hanzo, why does that have to be your name? lol. Now I need to go watch Kill Bill. Not that that's bad. You rule based solely on your name

 

Sodomize him with a broom stick and see how he likes it. If he goes to the cops just tell them that he liked it.

 

hey there, my best advice to you is to keep living and dont let him win by destroying your confidence, a trust in others. I was raped when I was 15 and as in your case the police said I had no case. My parents thought it was mostly my fault for hanging around a bad crowd so nothing was ever done about it. I'd be lying if I said Im completely over it. But it doesnt effect my daily living anymore and in truth I rarely think about it. If you need someone to talk to pm me. Ive been there and know how you are feeling.
much love
Sasha

 

that is terrible! i am so sorry that happened to you. i would suggest getting counseling, and taking the whole thing to court again.

 

Funny, they sound like the fucking pigs that were supposed to be in charge of my sexual assult case. I thought I was the only one the cops said that to, but after speaking with some other victims around campus I found out that is what they do about any sort of assult here because not only is it more work for them, but because the university pays them to not pursue it because if the town that the college is in is perceived to be dangerous, less rich families will send their fucked up raping bastard kids there. Anyway, all the cops did was go back to the house where the incident occured and asked some questions, and surprise surprise, no one knew anything, so they said there was a lack of evidence. Since I have left the school and the town because I kept running into the person and his friends who were all present when it happened. It has been years now so there is not much I can do about it, but I wish I had, I hope you do.

 

Take that mother-fucker's ass to coart! "No" fucking means "No"!

 

Yeah our university has the same policy. Apparently there are dozens of rapes each year that they ignore.

I have an outreach worker and have talked to crisis workers and they also say there isn't much to do. I could take him to court but he's likely to win. It's all a matter of whether he heard me say no. I know he did cause it also hurt like hell for me and I struggled and kept saying stop. But as long as he claims I didn't, what can I do? There is nothing I would love more than to see him pay for what he's done to me, but according to the people who are supposed to know these things, he won't pay.

But thanks everyone for your help and advice. Much obliged.

 

Due process and protecting the victims rights seem to be incompatible unfortunatly. I recomend a wild wild west approach:

You should kill him, discretely.

It shouldn't be too hard. Men like that deserve to die.

 

i know how you feel. for about three years i was molested by my uncle. very traumatizing. iv'e gotten over it fairly well although i still have a few trouble spots. just remember that it's not your fault. that's the first thing i was told. and i don't know about you but for me i didn't really care whether or not he went to jail im just glad he's out of my life. is this guy still bugiing you? if so then maybe you should concider a restraing order and youd be surprised how helpul therapy is.i know how terrible this is for you,it sucked ass for me but i also grew up alot and im a hell of alot more mature since the experience. sometimes we don't cause all of our own problems but we still have to solve them anyway. hang in there.