Nasty Name for a womyn

I was just told by a family member that my cousins boyfriend has been calling her names like this. (She was called a "stupid bitch.") She defends him, and does not want to be away from him. Personally if a bf ever called me a stupid bitch, or anything derogatory like that, he would be gone soo fast and handed his balls before he could say goodbye. This has never happened to me, but i am hoping to god i would be strong enough to stand up for myself, no matter how much i loved him.

So i was just wondering, have any of you been called something horrible like this by a boyfriend? what did they call you, and how did you handle it? i am thinking this mental abuse is much more common than it should be, i just want to know why girls put up with that shit and let guys get away with it.

 

harsh michael. not that you dont have a point over-all but HARSH as fuck.

 

I totally disagree. Sorry but it's not her job to "teach" him anything...esp if he's an adult which I assume that he is. I like to think that people are accountable for their own actions......

However, by her defending him she's totally giving him the green light to keep doing this to her. I would never take that shit from anyone. Hopefully she'll wake up and dump his ass.

 

I agree with you and I hope she dumps him too!!

 

I think also that he is responsible for his actions, but by her letting him treat her like that it is giving him power to do so and to think it is acceptable, so i think if it continues she is also the guilty one for putting up with that shit. But i didnt need opinions on her situation, its her business and its obvious for other reasons the relationship wont last much longer, the reason i posted was to hear what you guys have done if you have been called names by your s/o before, like if you stayed, or kicked their ass...i was wondering how others handled it when put in the same situation

 

My husband has never once called me any derogatory name, nor have I done it to him. I would be furious if he did, that's for sure!

 

I simply refer to my women as "woman" "hey woman". It may sound too generalized but at the same token, it can't be construed as offensive.

 

I think that once a man knows that he can get away with something like that he wont change. My best friends husband abused her a lot and we tried to help him to get counciling. For a while it worked btu he never changed. He was dependent on making her life hell. One day I told her that if she didnt leave him I was going to call the cops and have him arrested. She used to stick up for him all the time. I wouldnt be surpisd if your friend is getting abused also. Get her some help quickly, even if you have to step in and take over, do it with class and respect. It will go smoother.

 

*

 

I agree with Elle, and I don't see the wife as being to blame at all. She is enabling him to get away with being a pig, and that is not nearly as bad as being a pig, cuz it only hurts yourself. Dickheads who disrespect women don't hurt themselves, they hurt others, which is far worse. It is bullshit, imho, the way so many people blame the victims... " Oh, she deserved to be raped cuz you could see her cleavage, and she let him kiss her.... "
I call bullshit.
What is worse, not being able to fight off a rapist, and getting raped...or, raping someone?
Michael, are they equally bad in your mind? I will eat my shorts if you say yes.

 

I wouldn't go that far yet. YET being the operative term... Abusive boys (such individuals sure as hell don't qualify as men) tend to start out sweet as can be, move in to light name calling, get worse with the verbal abuse, start threatening "you make me want to hit you when you do that", then actually move along to trying something physically abusive.

At least that was my experience. Asshole (for that is his name now) started with stuff like "fat lazy bitch" during an argument -- even though I was only 110 lbs at 5'7", you could see my ribs if I just stood up straight, & even though I was the one who had a job & was paying all the bills! At some point I called him on it, so he said "fine, you're not fat, you're just really really flabby". Then, before long, he moved on to threatening violence. Finally, after an argument, he went into the living room & started smashing stuff on his forehead. I went in & said "oh, that's mature", to which he replied "it's the only thing keeping my fist from going thru your face"... I went back into the bedroom to get dressed (was in pajamas), he followed me to tell me "it would be safer if you left" -- which is what I was getting ready to do. I went to stay with a friend & didn't go back until my dad could go with my to get my stuff.

To be honest, there were a million warning signs long before he even started calling me names. But I overlooked them because, well, my step-grandmother had told me I had to dump him for not being white (he was hispanic) -- so I had to prove the racist bitch wrong. Had my dad warned me to get rid of him, I would have listened, because he would have pointed out the various warning signs I should have seen, regardless of the dude's skin color. But to expect him to be an ass just because he's hispanic was just wrong...

So, if you try to help your cousin, make sure to avoid doing it in a way that will make her want to prove you wrong (as she may already feel toward her family, if she's defending the jerk). But, do what you can, because it will likely progress to a more dangerous stage if she doesn't get away.

 

I think there's something wrong with a relationship where one party uses such language about the other, whether it's a guy calling the girl a stupid bitch or the girl calling the guy a chauvinist pig (or whatever). Unless it's clearly said in jest (in a small circle, to people who understand it's a joke, which obviously isn't the case here), I can't help but wonder... if that's how you think about your SO, why do you want a relationship with her/him?

 

[bafflement]
Thread Cliff Notes

calling "girls" "stupid bitch" = "something horrible" = "mental abuse"
[/bafflement]



Why was the spelling "womyn" used in the Thread title?

A brief glance at the following link (there isn't a definition available at dictionary.com) gives the impression a "womyn" wouldn't have this Thread's problem.
More often than not, she wouldn't have a bf would she?
http://www.reference.com/search?db=web&q=womyn

 

As Moderator, I changed the thread's name. (Which was "Stupid Bitch".) The OP (thread starter) did NOT do anything wrong at all. We didn't want the word "Bitch" in a title line as it appeared someone was maybe calling someone this. That isn't what it was, but it was changed, and the OP seemed OK with it.

I use "Womyn" and I have a HUSBAND. He a dude, had him for 26 years. We have four kids together. LOL. Not all feminist are lesbians. (Not that there is anything wrong with that.......)

See the Guidlines and FAQs for this forum at the top of the page.

 

Nice spin......I suppose.

So what you're stating is there are Exceptions to every Rule/Case, eh?
That's consistent w/the Impression...

 

What kind of exceptions? I don't think I follow. The only thing that I see could be considered an exception is when a word is used in a very obviously non-threatening way. I have gotten in big trouble even then. Let me tell ya about it. One lady I was seriously involved with and I were discussing how many partners we had been with....you know, sexually. I said seven, and she said eight... so I said ' you slut', and though at the time it seemed funny and impossible to take seriously, she was furious. Never forgot it. I now have gone many years without any kind of name calling, and I very rarely even raise my voice at all. I only did once in my current relationship, just a little, didn't swear, or threaten, but still I was very disappointed in myself. Believe it or not, even tickling can be a form of violence if you don't stop when asked to.

 

That isn't exactly it. CALLING someone a name like this is contained in the Guidlines as a personal attack. USING the word, as she did, without refering to someone, or calling someone the name, is not an infraction of the Guidlines of either this site or this forum.

This forum has a LONG history of attacks, misogyny, and even stalking. The Guidlines are there to protect the posters. Did you read them?

I don't want to Derail the thread or the Original Poster's need for some responses. End of discussion, unless you want to PM me, Andrs, But I refuse to argue about the Guidlines or the FAQs, Okay?

 

Am I Posting Greek in an English Forum tonight?

Appears so...

 

YES, calling a female, or anyone else a "Stupid Bitch" is abusive. Why is that bafflement?

 

Your last Post supports my last Post and no, I'm not Peter Sellers reincarnated.

"abusive"?
That's all you gleened from
"calling "girls" "stupid bitch" = "something horrible" = "mental abuse""

This reminds me of Plantiff's Pleadings except they usually don't contain misspelled words...*c*