Okay so I'm in the middle of a pretty tricky relationship. A year ago I met this guy online and he is just the sweetest person I have ever met, the problem is that we can't be together for at least another year and we both care for each other so much, its hurting me everytime I have to say goodbye to him and most nights I feel so alone I just cry myself to sleep. I have tried staying busy with other stuff and not thinking about being away from him but it isnt working. If anyone has any helpful things to say to get me through the next year or so please share.
Because he's signifigantly older than me and I'm not 18 yet, not to mention my parents would kill me if they knew I even talked to guys. We've already planned our nearing future together and he's told me he wants to spend the rest of his life with me.
::: hopes this isn't going to turn into one of those "You're too young, it isnt love, he's using you ::: flaming threads. Please be considerate if you guys reply. I'll be 17 in 2 days and he's currently 27. But I've known him for over a year now, we're very close, he calls me on the phone alot and he even sent me a beautiful silver necklace for my brithday this tuesday. We're already talking about having our parents meet each other in about a year or so so that they don't freak out about the age difference and think he's just out to "get some" and leave me. It's just that being so far away from each other, we cant stand it. Every night we both cry as we wave goodbye on the webcams. He's the first guy I've actually had a relationship with but there have been guys in my past who all turned out to be assholes.
I'd be carefull im a little weary of internet relationships especially ones where the guy your inlove with is 10 years older than you, becareful...please.
Yes I know, I've been careful for the past year and a half. If he were out to kill me he could have easily done so by now Besides, we're arranging it so he'll meet my family before we leave for florida (where his parents live)
I'm not saying hes out to kill you but, you can be anybody or anything you want on the internet. And i also want you to know that i dont think that just because you met him online hes gonna beat you and rape you in real life. I'm just saying becareful because you never know what hes really like, im just alittle worried that he may be obssed with you and/or not be the guy you knew him as online.
okay, i'm not flaming at all, hon... just heads-upping, really. you have to understand my or anyone else's suspicions a bit though; i know a few 27, 28 year old guys and if i ever found out that one of them was internet-dating a 16 year old girl, well..... yeah. any 16 year old girl without previous relationship experience is going to be that much more gullible; a pretty necklace and expressions of undying love will obviously make a huge impression. then again, love is what it is. i'll agree with what paul says above, be very careful. i'm glad that you're going to get him to meet your parents first, before anything continues "in person"; that's very wise. since you came to the defence before anything was said, i assume you already know about a lot of the dangers out there, so that's good. all the best to you! much love, peace, sophia
Of course I'll be careful. I guess you could say I've been sort of careless, but as far as intimacy goes we're as close as two people can get over the internet. He was actually scheduled to get married this summer but the woman he asked to marry him doesnt love him anymore. We actually met because he sort of saved my life. I was very depressed one night and almost did something very very stupid, I made a post on a forum about getting help and he IMed me asking if I was okay. Had he not been talking to me all that night I think I'd not be here today typing this. See though, my parents dont really approve of age gaps, they're very christian people (I am atheist but they dont know that or they'd kill me ) so we have decided that I will tell them about him as easily as I can, then ask them if they want to meet him before he and I go off to florida with his parents. I'm sure they'd want to meet him. Its sort of hard to assure you all that he's safe but for over a year now he has known where I live and could have easily come here if he had the slightest intentions of "doing something" to me. He actually told me when we first met that if I were scared in any way or uncomfortable to just say so and he would leave me alone, but I didnt want him to. We're just two very lonely people who want so much to be with the other. But this thread isnt really about him, its about me....how do I stop feeling so sad all the time because I cant be with him? I just want to be happy about my future and not get sad every time we say goodbye, but its so hard.
Love hurts so you know that you are in love. I just wrote an email back to some friend in my old town. Cried the whole time. I love them very much. Sometimes hurting is part of love. That's all. Just think about what is in your future. That may help the lonely nights.
Yeah that helps sometimes, so does soft music. Lately though I've been staying up late chatting with him until I just get so sleepy I dont have the energy to be sad. I leave my webcam on because i feel safe with him watching over me (he's 3 hours behind my time at the moment) and that really helps alot but then there are those moments when loneliness just gets the best of me. :?
Keep your time filled with doing crafts, homework, get a part-time job, etc. It's hard to keep thinking about just ONE thing (or person, in your case) if you are constantly busy. If you continue to be sad, maybe you should talk to a counselor or doctor. Prolonged feelings of intense despair could be a signal of depression or a chemical imbalance or something to that effect. Just helping out. Good luck with your relationship =)
Thanks...at the moment I've been working on my website alot and I've got final exams soon so I could put more effort into studying for those (yeah right ) He's actually moving back to florida with his parents before June so I will get to talk to him more (right now he's trying to calmly sort things out with his ex before leaving)
What does he do? I would try to keep busy and almost forget about him for the moment. There's nothing you can do right now to be together so just try to have fun and worry about your future later. I don't mean to be foreward, but this subject raises lots of red flags in my head. I'll just leave it with " be careful" like everyone else has said.
He's currently trying to get a degree in interior design and he's really good with computers, he's the reason I was able to fix my laptop. I can't forget about him nor do I want to, I just want to feel happy about our future and not sad that I can't spend every minute talking to him. I am being as careful as I can, if I were careless I wouldnt have taken a year to let him call me on the telephone. (that was kinda funny because neither of us knew what to say and kept laughing ) It's just so frustrating that we're so far apart.
