witness if eyes could speak, well, mine would scream. they'd cry for all the things theyve seen, "wake me up, surely i dream". if only dreams werent what ive seen. if eyes could walk, why, theyd run out on me. "why do these stupid things you do? this life is sweet except for you. a walk in the park except for you and all the stupid things you do." if eyes could forgive, and forget about the past, mine would give up, and give in fast. there are too many things that i have seen, so much destruction, still just seventeen. these eyes bare witness to sleaze and weak will. eyes that can forget, though i remember still. ------ havent written in a loooong time, so im looking forward to criticism.
well i dont have much criticism for ya cuz i liked it. i found your eyes, even if they were troubled, very personable. dialogue was great...added flavor. you did a very nice job with this.
thanks a lot...only thing better than criticism is kudos...how wierd, my poems about eyes and the first one to comment is brownEYEDgrl. thats awesome. ps. BUMP. i want some critiques!
