Help needed! I think im bi/gay. So confused. Im 21/f, never been in a relationship. At school cant remember being attracted to any guys. Secondary school, had a crush on a girl for a while. Left school at 17. Went to uni, met a guy through my gay guy friend. This guy is straight.. never really fancied him straight away. Then gradualy started to like him, kiss etc that lead to other stuff. He is the sorta guy that hangs about with lots of gay ppl.. he is definately straight but doesnt want a relationship with anyone.. fair enough, hes more a best friend now anyway, still do like him. Most days he feels like the only guy i like in that way. Have been out on dates with other guys, but i dunno... didnt feel right, its like i had to make an effort to look interested. Went out clubbing the other night with female friends, they all were like 'oh yes cant wait to meet a guy tonight, etc etc' , they all kissed guys that night and i just wasnt interested what so ever. With my friends i never talk about guys or girls. I suppose im ambigous(sp?) It wouldnt be a surprise to them if i was gay/bi, i think! Thing is i really dont want to 'come out' till ive found someone i for sure really like.. arrgh i dont feel the need to label myself.. but im not goin to be able to find anyone if i dont come out.. It should be easy for me to come out as i stay with some gay ppl.. feel like im lyin to them, being dishonest. i feel like its tearing me apart. Ive had lots of chances to tell ppl, but i just cant pluck up the courage, i think id prefer to wait till i find the right girl, but how do i do that?
go out on the scene with them partying they'll probably ask you or guess then and you'll meet people all at once im 22 and have been confused over my sexuality since i was 19. thought i was straight till then...had never been interested in sleeping with men, but id kissed a couple....then fell for a girl...so decided i must be bi, but 'she' then told me 'she' was actually trans and so was in a relationship with him and now we broke up 2 years on after an not always together but always close relationship, partly coz of timing but partly on my part because i fell for 'her' and its difficult for me in some ways to deal with the fact that he will become a man one day because i now think i might be gay....22 and still no interest in straight sex.... so if its any help you aint the only confused one...messes me up sometimes too....my ex was lovely though, he supported me and wasnt offended by the way i feel. we just decided we both needta work out who we are....aint the easiest thing to do. but party on and off the scene just meet people regardless of gender/sexuality etc.... just have fun
Hi autumn! Thanks for the advice. Has that girl gone ahead with the change? Hmm i have been out on the scene for 3 years. Everyone assumes im straight. I just wanna find someone without having to classify 'Bi' or 'Gay'.. I havent really met a lot of nice lesbians out on the scene. I think i more like 'straight' girls.. epp, which is bad in most cases cos it aint gunna happen.
hm no he's pre op. i look like a straight girl too.... but i joined the uni lgbt at the end of my final year study and so when im out on the scene folkes know im confused but ive never pulled out on the scene.... was one girl i liked but not to go out with, just to like....but everyone liked her .... i dont go out much though and havent really had interest in kissing anyone out on scene. only wanted to kiss my ex. oher than him, everyone ive kissed has been male with exception for my housemate last year but that was muckin about... she was pretty an stuff but we never liked each other in that way.... was a drunken case of me her and another guy all kissing each other after a night out.
Ah, yeah i kiss guys when im out, usually when im drunk. But mostly trying to get away from them. Dunno I was out on friday night and wasnt interested in kissing anyone. Even although theres this girl, who is my friends friend and I think I might like her. She mentions quite a lot about being lesbian, like she cant be arsed with guys etc, live her life without them,but i think its more cos shes a single mum student, shes the same age as me. The other night she was playing pool with this guy, she ended up kissing him, he was really good looking. but she told him he was a bad kisser, so that ment he slept about, he called her a cheeky bitch.. thats what she told me, but she did stand with him the whole night.. but i wasnt there after a while.. so dunno what happened.. But for a few weeks in a row i would go to student union with friends, her and her bro, who likes me apparently. By the end of the night me and her would be dancing. She was dancing with me really close etc, holding hands, both of us were steaming drunk. On friday night she was like 'im not drinking tonight' and i'm like why and shes like 'i get sleazy when im drunk', ' remember few weeks ago when you and me were dancing?' i was like nah, i cant remember, i dont think you were. 'me her and another guy all kissing each other after a night out', lol hehe! Ive only kissed girls before at spin the bottle, one happened to be a girl i had a crush on in school.
know how you feel... still trying to figure everything out. I'm personally not coming out until I've had a relationship either. I want to be completely sure of this before I tell the world.
yeh .. Its just finding the right person, isnt it.. its hard to do that though cos everyone assumes you're straight..
well it's funny... my big problem when I was denying it to myself was that women kept coming on to me! now I don't know where to begin!
professional widow, From what I read about you in your first post, was exactly me at the same age! It was almost spooky. Like you I have been confused with my sexuality for a long time, although I have now decided that I must be bi since in recent years I have started to like guys, whereas as a teenager I wasn't interested but I would try and live a lie and pretend that I was. In the past and even now i suppose, i seem to like feminine attractive women who are usually straight which is a pain in the arse. Never been into the butch types. But a stroke of luck came my way 2 years ago and I had a girlfriend briefly, but was only partially attracted to her. I felt something was missing so we decided to stay friends, plus we lived in separate countries so the relationship would've probably fizzled out anyway. I think you just need to go out and explore the gay/straight scene and in time you will find out what you are. You are still very young so you're probably not going to find out the answers straight away. I reckon you are probably bi, going by what you've said. It takes time but you will eventually find yourself. If you want to talk, feel free to PM me.
Coming on to you? Did they know you were 'straight'? I bumped into my friends lesbian friend yesterday. Im not sure if i like her. Ive let her sleep in my bed b4. I remember when she used to come over we would talk for like 5 hours straight just sitting on my bed room floor. Remember my flat mate was like 'i cant believe you were talkin for that long, i fell asleep and woke up and u guys were STILL talking' I never said anything, i think he was trying to dig for gossip(this is the guy i used to like and ive told im not straight(or gay!)hes the only person ive told). Thing is i dont think she likes me in that way, even although she asks if ive seen certain movies(like gay ones)and most of the time i have, i dunno she just sorts of makes a face, hard to describe. I also thing shes the type to lead ppl on, cos shes told me lots about certain girls who like her, but she doesnt like them.. but ive seen how nice she is to these girls.
I had one friend in particular who always came off like she might not be completely straight (only wore mens clothes, hung out w/ all guys, etc... not saying that this is proof of anything but just to give you some idea). I told her I was straight but she was very persistant in challenging that. I remeber one time in particular I skipped classes w/ her & we went to her house and she brought the topic up out of nowhere while he were sitting alone in her room. It really felt like she was hoping something else would arise. I wasn't trying to make it sound like women were throwing themselves at me, lol. But she and two other girls made it somewhat clear that they were interested. You seem to be in a vert similar situation to me. The only person who knows of my little discovery (besides you all here) is my lesbian friend who's been kinda helping me out but I think tomorrow might be the day I tell my closest guy friend. I honestly think I was in love with him but then he came out so we're just very good friends. As for the potential I'd say just try not to invest TOO much in how she acts because she very well may be misleading. I guess do what your heart tells you.
