I might be wrong, but I found that a lot of you here got baby's on such an early age.. And a lot of people ask such basic questions about the pill and condoms. Why is that? Is it that in america you don't have good sex education at school or something? I was just wondering cause I thought this was all common knowledge..
Not sure if I'm considered a "young one" for having my babies, but I was married and 21 years old when I gave birth to my first child, and my husband was 25. When we had our twins a little over three years later, I was 24 and my husband was 28. Our first child was somewhat of an "oops", but in some ways not. We had lost a baby to miscarriage prior to him (I was on the pill at the time), and we both knew that eventually we wanted to have another baby together. So one day we were hot and heavy and just let things go, knowing there was a chance. Sure enough, two weeks later I found out I was pregnant. Three years later, my husband and I decided that we wanted to expand our little family. We became pregnant that very same month, but unfortunately, we had another miscarriage. We waited three months and then tried again. A month later we found out we were expecting our twins. We both felt that we wanted to have our children earlier on in life, and our pregnancies were very much wanted by both of us. Then again, maybe I'm not as young as you're referring too.
I don't know what the sex ed is like in the US, but I do know what it is like in Canada, or at least my province in Canada. We got taught the basics... the physical "what is happening to me?" side of things, and then the mechanics of sex (tab "a" goes into slot "b"), which most if not all of us already knew. Then came the "safe sex" stuff: condoms, the pill, and "the only safe sex is no sex" speech. This was in Grade 8.. so we were all roughly 13 yrs old. Of my graduating class of 157 (small, eh?) there were 3 girls who had gotten or currently were pregnant. In high school, a group of kids called the "peer councellors" gave out condoms. The high school wouldn't allow us to put condom machines up, so we gave them to kids in a way that wasn't linked to the school.... that way the parents couldn't blame the school. I went on the pill when I was 16. I did it without telling my parents... and my doctor gave them to me for free.... they were drug company "sample packs". My doctor was female, and she did this for a lot of girls in my town. I think birth control is "common knowledge" once you reach a certain age. But until then, young people have to ask questions. I think you find a lot of questions about birth control here because it is a safe place to ask... it's not face-to-face, and there isn't really any judging. Sometimes those questions are hard to ask in the "real world".
American sex ed (especially in the "Bible Belt") area is severley lacking-we live in a culture that bombards us with images of sex on the media, yet we still hold the Puritanical belief that sex should be restricted to married couples. I was lucky enough to have decent sex ed in high school, but it was still taught until the implication that "you really should wait until you're married". That's fine if that your personal belief, but the truth is the overwhelming majority of people DON'T wait-and they deserve to be educated about both the negative and positives of sex. The Christian Right is trying to have access to birth control pills limited, with pharmacists around the country increasingly not filling BC prescriptions because of "moral" beliefs. And it's been proven that many abstinence-only sex ed programs are teaching children and teens blatanly false information. This is why we have so many young people asking questions that really, should be common knowledge-from "can I get pregnant from dry-humping?" to "You can't get pregnant if you smoke pot, right?". Canadians and Europeans on the whole are a lot more educated-and SAFER-when it comes to sex.
I think it may also have something to do with the fact that abortion is more accepted here.. If you get pregnant the first question is am I going to keep it? You might think that has something to do with it?
Yes, definitely. Abortion laws are being increasingly tightened in the US-all part of Pres Bush's "Culture of Life" bullshit propaganda. And hell, if phamarcists are refusing to fill BC prescriptions, that is certainly going to lead to an increase in unwanted pregnancies. This administration seems to want to have their cake and eat it too, which is very dangerous for those of us who believe that every child born should be a wanted child.
I went to a Catholic school where we learned about sex, but were not allowed to learn about birthcontrol or condoms... because they arent supposed to belive in birthcontrol. I remember my gym teacher said something about them, she got in heeps of trouble by some nun for even saying the word. It was fucked up. And i will admit, growing up like that at the time i never understood why condoms were such a big deal, cuz nobody would even talk about them to us. But once i got in Highschool i realized it more, but not from school as much as my piers. Thankfully i was not sexually active until i knew all that i could obtain about sex, i researched soo much on it so i could know to be safe, and about the BC i was putting into my body. I just hafto know things, some girls dont really look things up and just go with it. i am soo surprised to see girls wondering if skipping the pill for a few days will hurt anything, there are just some things these people should inform themselves on before they go having sex.
I live in the Bible Belt South and the only real sex ed I remember is when my teacher filled a plastic bag with olive oil and made us toss it around the room so it leaked everywhere, then saying that's how effective a condom is. Right... I know alot of people my age who won't have sex with a condom because "it's not as intimate" or some bullshit like that. If a girl misses her pill once then she can get pregnant, and I don't think enough girls know that because there wouldn't be so many mothers my age otherwise. I mean, all I learned about sex ed is what I looked up myself because I was curious.
sex ed is pretty inadequate, in my opinion. Even here it wasn't that good... a condom was put onto a tennis racket, we learned about std's and a few of the contraceptive options without really going into detail about them (ie the pill is taken every day and is x% effective, the shot is taken once every three months and is x% effective) If you're taking the pill, it -should- come with a packet if information on the risks and what to do if you accidentally miss one pill. Here it does at least. And my doctor had to talk about teh risks of the pill with me before writing a prescription for me, back when I was on the pill. That's a good idea, because not every reads those pamphlets completely
Besides not using common sense and rational thinking during the heat of passion, I think alot of young lovers are not told of the minor details of contraceptives. What I mean is that not every gal knows that if you use a anti-biotic and you are on the pill, you have a greater chance of pregnancy. I know, I have a nephew out of that deal. Some gals get lazy and don't take all the pills when they should. But I'm not trying to paint women as the ones that need to be aware, us guys have to take as much responsibility as well. So far we have the condom and the withdrawl method. Which can be combined. But we guys (and gals in this case too) need to know how to store condoms and know when they expire and if they may be defective (sometimes they smell old). of course the other method is to get clipped, but that won't happen unless you have chosen not to have children or have had a few before a doctor will perform it. BUT the main deal is people today don't take heed of what they do and the percussions it can have in thier future. yeah you can get a woman pregnant, but if you decide not to marry her and help raise the child, by law you will another way. So why take the chance and just jump right in. When I was dating I treated every woman I was intimate with with caution. I don't know her cycle and 6 out of 10 women don't know thiers either. Even if she was on the pill or any other contraceptive I ALWAYS wore a condom. And in many instances I pulled out (with the condom on) before I ejaculated. I was not going to get stuck being with someone because I made a baby, and find out over time I didn't want to be with her. I studied up. I read about both male and female anatomy. I also read up all different contraceptives and what and how to handle them and what and how not to do with them. IMO (which isn't very humble i've been told) people need to educate themselves and not just rely on a school or the govt. to tell them. Yes you can get pregnant on the first time. Yes you can get an STD. Yes you can become a father/mother. We as a people need to wake up and take responsibility in the bedroom. Before someone else does.
