I am going to kill myself.

hey alot of these people dont know what to say cus they really dont know i just spent a while in a behavioral hospital because i tried to hang myself i know full well that there isnt much that i can say that will make you change your mind all i ask is that you take this in. when your around people that make you feel as part of the group you are usually more at ease just take into account the people that care about you. and i know what your gonna say , the stereotypical advice for depression and you say there isnt anyone who cares, now you look at people who you know and people who care it might be a good idea to take a second look at those people you know and realize that people you know and people you care are one and the same whats your s/n man if its alright with you pm me

 

You didn't offend me.

 

Whats it like in a behavoiral hospital?

 

psychiatric help and wards are not nice places, they're full of lost souls and if you can avoid being there at all then do. Make things better for yourself.

 

Excuse Me As A Mother, I Agree You Do Not Have The Right To Make Your Decision To Die. Your Mother Brought You In And Only She Can Say When You Leave!! Ha! Ha! Seriously Now, 15yrs. Ago A Very Good Friend Of Mine Thought The Only Way She Could Deal W/life Was To End Hers. She Left Behind A 2yr.old And A 3wk.old Baby Daughters. She Also Left Behind A Very Loving And Sad Family, Lots Of Friends Who If They Had Any Idea What She Was Going To Do, Would Of Done Their Damnest To Help. I Am 38 Ys. Old And You May Think I Have No Right To Tell You What To Do, But At Least Think About Who And What You Will Leave Behind If You Take Your Life. People Who Take Their Feel That The Only Way To Help Themselves Is To Die. Well The Person You Hurt When You Kill Yourself Isn't You, But The People You Leave Behind. Please Find Someone Anyone Who You Feel Safe Enough To Talk To. There Are Alot Of Things To Think About, High School Sucks But It Can Be Great At The Same Time. The Jerks Of Today Become The Idiots Of Tomarrow!!!

 

I'd rather be tortured for years than die. Life, no matter how painful, is preferable to an early death. Stick it out, just ride it out till its over. When ya ain't got nuthin' ya got nuthin' ta lose. I know three people who took their own lives, and they were soooooooo sweet. I wish that this fucked up world hadn't shit on them so much. I have no problem with anyone taking their own life, ethically. It is no one elses life to control, and if I want to die, I will be livid if anyone tried to stop me. How dare them. But I won't, I'm hangin around till the bitter end. this is way harder to predict than a book or movie. stranger than fiction, impossible to imagine, full of surprises....you never know what is around the next bend.... a hungry grizzly bear? ..... A perfect angel? ..... A pal, a jerk, a bump, you just never know. All you do know is that there will be surprises, and thats enough for me to stick around. But then I am a believer, so I feel we all are here for a reason, and have seen examples of people who sincerely tried to end it, and were inexplicably thwarted. It wasn't their time.

 

From what I can tell you're very mature for your age. Nonracist, nonsexist, you see alot of the evil in men etc. Why not stick around to help change these people? If before you die you change one person's opinion you've helped lots of people. Multiply that and see how powerful that can be. It all has to start somewhere. Also, there's things you can do on the depression front to make you feel better. Sunlight, support groups, meditation, cardio. The list goes on and on. If you kill your future your past means nothing. In a couple of years you can strike out on your own and make friends with like minded people. Being a foot taller than everyone else could work out when you get older. Do you like any sports? It'll get you alot of attention. It would also be very refreshing to have a jock with your views.

 

I read everything everybody posts. I just wanted to let you guys know I am not ignoring you.


The worst thing happened last night. It was about 11:30 PM and I heard my mother say "I hate myself". I have suspected that my mother is depressed but I never really thought about it until last night. I need to tell my dad to take my mom to a doctor but he is out of town on a business trip. He spends most the year on business trips. I should have noticed this earlier, my mom gets like no sleep, she doesn't have energy, she is a pushover (low self esteem), and her eating habits have problems I think. I am alone right now, my sisters aren't home from school yet, my dad is out of town, and my mother just left.





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I am sick.

 

Run off to Mexico and become a cabana boy.

 

I don't feel safe talking to anybody. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live either. I should go to school counsellor.

I think that we would disagree on whos a jerk and whos not. People think I am a jerk, sometimes. I don't really think that you should respond to people who are a jerk to you. Like today at lunch I got hit in the back of the head with something while eating. The guy who threw it obviosly wants my attention, because he has issues. I don't care about him, so I don't respond to him. I let him feel alone with his problem.

 

I have had these thoughts before too. The thoughts of killing myself overwhelmed them.

 

you know whats great about being dead, though? Once youre dead, you wont care about the ones you left behind and made so sad, so in the end thats not really a factor.

 

I don't want to get into sports. I don't really like playing sports (1 in 3 highschool students gets seriously injured while playing football). I am in band so I wouldn't have time anyway. Maybe track sometime. I have asthma.

I think it will be incredibly difficult to find like minded people. I don't know any now how am I going to meet them in the future?


This is something I made up.

"Love is like finding a needle in a haystack, you look hard for the needle, and once you find it it can still prick you".

 

When your dead you don't feel or need anything.

 

I can't be bothered to read everything in here, but when I have been most down in life it has been when I have been living somewhere that doesn't suit me, around people I can't relate to... I can't speak for your interenal workings and chemical balance etc, but maybe you should move somewhere new, somewhere that inspires you, and if possible find a way of moving there, then take up a college course in something that interests you... then you'll be in a suitable location and meeting people with similar interests.... it worked for me, doesn't mean I never find life depressing because I often do, but when I am down, where I live and the people I now know stop me from getting too low for very long, the general atmosphere here brings me up again...

Unless you are in an incredibly bad situtaion in life for which there is no way out I can't see the point in suicide... ya bound to end up in another situation and state of conciousness again somewhere in some form and that could be worse so you might as roll with it until the end of this little storey... you never know there might actually be a point to all this!?

 

hey man...

what gives...15 and already wanting to die??? Why not waite till you are 16 see what happens then. If all 15 yearoldes killdthemelvs....I dont think anyone would be alive today...I say this being four years your elder...Wanting to kill your self is a right of passage, a test as it were. To kill ones self or not to kill ones self. Tiss the first question a teen will ever ask. Every teen goes threw this...and beleave me...it'll pass...and if not wel...then I'll send poppys to your grave. Find ways of expression. Anger bottled is a bome wating. All teen find a way to express them selfs. Sports, friends, reading, or even poetry. Google "Angst" its a whole poetry form spawned from the moist loins of teens. In passing I say and I repeat...Care Diem...Siese the day...make life a wonder and relvel in its glory. Again I say...Live child...live life to the fullest. See the horizon? Walk towards it.

Blesed Be

 

well im sure there are people who have it ALOT worse than u do..instead of killing yerself..why dont u help those people out? voulenteer for needy people.. they need you....

also..being 15 sucks for anyone. hell im 17 and it still sucks for me. and sometimes i think 'man this sucks...my life sucks and i dont even know why im living because everything i do has NO point'. but i just try to remeber the things i have to look foward too(like i make a list) and the people i care bout...and u know, we're young, i just wanna party and get my kicks man, the hell with the future! but probably once your at least 16..or 18..it will be tons better. u have to make it work for you. i think nobody can be happy all the time...what i do is...just have faith things will get better and doing my damnest to make it better..cuz aint nobody gonna help you, but yourself. goodluck man..and dont give up on life man...show em u can too play the game of life....

p.s u can talk 2 me anytime - PM me or whatever...i like talking and listening no matter what its about

 

I'm sorry you feel that way LizardMan, I have no real words of advice, but I can tell how it's been for me.


1. Life BEGINS after school. There is very little about my school years that is relevant to my life now.
2. I truly believe in the ying and yang of life. If you having a sucky time of it now, there must be an equal amount of good waiting around the corner for you. You don't want to miss the good stuff after doing the suffering through the bad!

It's trite, but HANG IN THERE!

 

1 in 3? So, 66% of people involved in sports never get hurt? But, that's not even really the point. How will you meet like minded people? You'll talk the talk and walk the walk. You'll wear shirts with slogans you believe in. You'll openly discuss your beliefs. You'll fly your freak flag high. If you're already an outcast. What do you have to lose?

 

No, I think that statistic is on a yearly basis. I mean serious injurys like broken bones ect... Everybody gets bruses and cuts every once in awhile.