Everything i have read always says that when you are in love, the sex is soo much better, and i totally can understand why. Well, i have only had sex with one person, and this person i have always felt i loved with all my heart, he means the world to me. I have never had anyone else that i have loved or even had sex with, so i have nothing to compare it to. But sex with him, it really is nothing like everyone says it is like. its not good. I just dont get very turned on even though i find him attractive, it doesnt feel good most of the time, i just dont feel anything mentally or physically. i try to participate but it seems everything i do is just a mechanical motion of me trying to please him,or get it over with. he even noticed and said i dont seem into it. I just didnt feel a connection sexually. I dont need sex advice about htis relationship because we are no longer together (we broke up but still have sex and i cant have a relationship like that so i am ending it and hopefully saving a friendship). all i want to know is... Is it possible that i was not truly in love with him because i felt nothing when we had sex (emotionally) and that there is someone out there for me who i can have fun with in the sac and actually FEEL something for? or is it shallow to base love on sex and just because i felt no connection doesnt mean he isnt the one? i was just wondering if maybe there is more waiting out there for me and when i find the one, i will know. argh this is frustrating.
Absolutely. Whenever you have lack of emotion for someone, whether you show it or not, it spreads through out all you do...your subconscious thought was letting you know that this is not the one, which made your love-making sessions rather 'boring', of sorts. There is someone out there you can make a complete connection with, on all levels, which will drive your sexual hunger to another level! If you didn't feel any connection, chances are you are going to try to force a relationship into existence, and eventually it will wear on you, and push you away. Feel fortunate that you are recognizing these things now... Of course there are more men out there for you! Just be patient and don't try so hard; work on self-development, and learn all you can; then when the right one comes along, you will DEFINITELY know it! I know it is. I pull my hair out daily wondering when the right one will come to give me that balance of attraction, both mentally and physically, that I am seeking...
Just so you know, when i said i felt no connection, it was only meant on a sexual level. this is why i got confused, because in all other aspects of the relationship there is a deep connection, we are so similar and just go so well together, we were together 2 yrs and didnt have one fight, it just worked great. so when there was no connection in the bedroom, thats what made me confused.
