hey all, i've got a frigid girlfriend with everything that involves frontal action on either of us, she is perfectly fine with me licking her breasts and feeling her ass but i want to know if there is a way or ways of making her less frigid coz she doesn't like it either. so...ADVICE TIME! thanx, oh and we've bin going out 4 about 3 months now so.... ADVISE ME (us)
Exactly. But the quick answer is that if you (well, she) is young (teens) then you shouldn't be pressuring her. You 'make girls less frigid' by loving them, respecting them and by earning their trust.
exactly. Maybe she just isn't comfortable going any further and you should respect that instead of looking for ways to get her to do what you want. Just because she has limits on how far she is willing to go does not make her "frigid".
we r both 16 and i haven't pressured her to do anything, it's all been mutual consent and all that i have been the best boyfriend she's ever had and i'm always the nicest person to her and treat her like a princess and write poems and stuff. i don't care if we never have sex or anything but i just don't want us to just not move forwards as time goes on, we should try something new and she wants to as well - its just that she feels frigid she says.
ok i've read the story three times and i believe it has a meaning but i don't exactly get it - is it saying that it doesn't matter how fast you take things because you'll get there in the end, or does it mean that you have to take things faster or you'll miss out and never get to the end. i'm confused :S and the way it repeats "perfect boyfriend", hmmmm.... does that mean something aswell :S uh, im sorry about my trouble with understanding
Take your time. Leave her alone. There's got to be a problem if she doesn't want to go further, and maybe that problem is you always expecting, or anticipating to go further. Here's a tip. Stop trying to get her to go further with you for a while. Kiss her, make out with her, do the things she tells you to when your in the moment. Love it and act as though that is good enough. the way she is feeling might not be because she isn't ready to take the next step, she might feel as if you don't enjoy just kissing her and holding her, and that doesn't amke girls want to haev sex with guys. I'm sure she appreciates you as a great boyfriend. But that's not your get out of jail free card. You can't expect her to "repay" you because you love and respect her. I would be willing to bet if you acted as though just kinda making out was satisfying and wonderful, she'll want to go further with you.
Maybe she's simply not ready. That doesn't mean she's frigid, sheesh. And like headymoe said, being a good boyfriend doesn't give you the right to expect her to just give it up already, that's unfair. She doesn't have to repay you for poetry with physical stuff.... ugh. Sorry, I do understand what you're trying to say, but I think it's coming out rather badly. 16 isn't THAT old to be doing stuff, you know - although yes, I'm aware that like grade six students are having sex now (don't get me started on that) - but if she's reached her point, then you have to either respect it and respect her for it, or walk away. Pressuring her makes you a bad boyfriend, poetry or no poetry.
Ditto to what the others have said. If she's not ready, she's simply not ready. Trying to get down her pants every other time the two of you are together isn't going to convince her that she's ready, it's more likely to make her feel bad about not going further with you, then going further out of desperation to keep you and getting a really bad self-esteem complex. It's happened to a couple of my galpals and the fallout is NOT fun. Let her be who she is, let her move at her own pace. You still have two hands for masturbation until the two of you get further along physically.
ok, good advice, so i guess take things slowly and wait for her is the key and i would NEVER even consider pressuring her for anything, let alone sex!, and i have always asked what she feels comfortable with before i actually did anything. i don't just "expect" her to have sex with me - she has told me at this stage in her life she doesn't want to have sex with anyone - and i respect that and we are still going out together. and i also don't "expect" her to "return the favour" or whatever you call it because that would mean that i'm with her for ALL THE WRONG REASONS and i'm not that type of guy who only cares about sex, i really love her and just love being with her, but all i meant (although i admit it came out a bit shallow) was that it would be fun if we could do something else that's interesting - NOT THAT WHAT WE ALREADY HAVE ISN'T INTERESTING! IT'S GREAT! - but all i wanted to know is if there is more, and now i know that i just have to take things slowly and go at her pace, which is fine. THANK YOU
BIG NEWS! i just found out yesterday that she has in the past with previous boyfriends and did again last night, shake in anticipation, like when a guy she likes has his hand down the front of her pants, her whole upper body shakes and she cant stop it, she said thats why she didnt want to until she felt like trying last night but she still shaked, so i just took my hand away and hugged her close until she stopped :S is there anything you can tell me or anything coz i've never had a shaking girlfriend before :S
hey SORRY! but yes, she does, and i wasnt rushing her or nething, she said she's always thinking of me and on the phone she's all like i wish you were here so we could go 2 my room...etc. so its not wat u said
One of the girls said earlier that if you stopped being the aggressor and took a back seat for awhile your girlfriend might start making some moves of her own. I think thats a good idea. I think that you really care about your girlfriend, and that is wonderful. But there is something wrong... not wrong with what you are doing, or what you are feeling, but the "shaking" thing raised some alarm bells with me. I don't doubt that you care about eachother, but the "shaking" isn't normal. By holding her you did the right thing. Have you talked about it? Not about the fact that it happened before, but maybe about what causes it? Is it just nerves? Or is it anxiety? If so, what about the situation triggers it? Maybe you guys should just put the brakes on for awhile? The shaking thing could be something serious, and you wouldn't want to make it worse, right? Talk to eachother, talk until you are blue in the face, talk until there is nothing more to say, and then talk about it somemore. And don't push forward until she is the one pushing... and when she pushes, don't just go along with it... ask her if she is sure, because she might eventually just go for it because she is afraid of losing you or something. Good Luck!
You shouldn't put pressure on her about this, it'll just make her nervous and the relationship will probably end otherwise. Sex isn't everything, don't keep trying to get into her knickers, take her out, be romantic! Clearly, if she hasn't done it with you then she's not ready and even though you're her boyfriend, she's her own person and you have no right to force her into anything she's not 100% comfortable with. Maybe sex isn't much of a priority to her right now, so let it take a backseat and enjoy the other fun parts of a relationship!
