Heres a situation and I would like to get some opinions on what you might do.. Lets say you have one ovary and the remaining ovary you have get complex cysts that range up to 8 -12 cms and causes horrid pain and you have to have surgery to remove. Your periods are horribly, horribly bad to where nothing helps and bleed so much you can barely leave your house. You do not have a baby, and the chances of you having one is very small. A possibility but not likely. You have stage 4 endo that after 2 years since you've had it lasered, it has returned. You have tried every homoronal therapy and nothing has helped. You are in debt from medical bills and you are sick of the pain and aggravation. And it seem nothing is helping and you are horrible depressed from it all. You want a baby bad that you try to hold out until you have one but its getting more and more hard to. You feel as though if you gave up sortofspeak that you will regret at least not trying... But then the pain comes and bleeding and depression and you feel as though you cant take anymore... Would you go ahead and have the hysterectomy, or would you bare through it till you try to conceive? Or would you do something else... Your thoughts would be appreciated, thank you.
I would probably go for the hyseterectomy, and adopt when I'm ready to have a child. There are a lot of kids out there that need love and a good home still.
Thats what I was thinking.. But did you know that it costs a lot of money to adopt and have to be on a waiting list? I dont know how true that is, but thats what a few people told me...
I was under the impression that a lot of these things would be helped by having baby...please correct me if I am wrong...but if I am not go forth and multiply girl!!! Even if I am wrong I figure you could get pregnant, so have a bubba, if that doesn't fix things then you can always have the more drastic solution....and you will have a beautiful little person as well... oh...by the way a man is required at some point here....suppose it is up to him how involved he is!!
you're right though having a baby helps with endo but trying to conceive would be the hard part, my doctor says i have a small percent chance, but it is possible though. If my life was in order, I would try to concieve for a year and if nothing get a hysterectomy...But my life is in complete chaos and i just started dating this one guy so i dont know.. Adopting isnt a bad thing and I have thought about it alot. But I just feel like I gave up and wasnt strong to bare through it if I just went ahead with the hysterectomy.. I am just in a rut cause the pain and so forth is getting very unbearable...I just dont know what do to.. My doctor says with my age that they really dont want to do a hysterectomy but he says its my body and i am the one in pain so he would have no problem doing it... but i just dont know...
Personally, I would get the hysterectomy and adopt if you want children later (there are so many children that need parents...) But I can't tell you what to do. I also have endo and ovarian cysts, but not to such a large degree, and it is bad enough. I can't imagine worse. Good luck. It is a tough decision and I would take plenty of time before making it.
thank you sweetie.. yeah, Ive been thinking of the decision for a year or so... I just cant seem to really make up my mind.. the guy i am dating has been really supportive so that helps, but I just am a little that lets say i go and try to have a child and it turns out that i cant, i will feel like i wasted all that time in pain for nothing when i could have done it.. And i wish i could freeze my eggs and just get my ovaries removed cause the cysts are what cause most of my problems.. but its really Really expensive.. I appreciate all of your thoughts and so forth, i really do..
I am sorry about your pain, shroomy. If you tried to conceive for a year, and couldn't, it wouldn't be a waste. It would let you feel like you tried. You might feel regret later if you don't at least try, even for the small percent chance. Then you wouldn't have the "what if?"s later. I know you just started seeing your guy (but he's been around for awhile...), so that does make it hard. He also sounds like he may be "the one"..... you have said before that he wants kids? Have you talked to him about having a hysterectomy? If he is "the one", you should really talk to him about your options. Maybe he would be up for trying first.
Talk to him about it. Maybe he feels comfortable enough to want to start trying. YOu are moving into together soon, right? He sounds like a great guy and you sound ready to start getting on that path. I'm not saying to start trying now, but maybe you should try for a little while. Just to see. Like Daisy said, it wouldn't be a waste of time, it would be a good try. You would at least know you put in some effort. If it doesn't seem like it's going to happen, then I would go ahead and have it done. It's not worth risking your health, waiting for life to come together and going through so much pain. It would be a waste of time of you continues to try to conceive for a long time and spent time in physical pain for it. Think about it for now. This isn't something you need to decide overnight. Take your time and when the time is right, you'll know what to do. I'm really sorry though. I know this must be hard. Sending big hugs and warm fuzzies your way!
My mother has endo and ovarian cysts as well. It was extremely difficult for her to conceive, in fact, the doctors said that it would be probably impossible for her to conceive again (she had me before it got worse) My parents tried for years and years to conceive after they had me, with no luck, until I was 9 years old and my mother went for a routine exam and was told she was pregnant. That was a total shocker for everyone! So you just never know. You have to do what is right for you. If you're in extreme pain, and not really knowing when you might want to try and start a family, you could be suffering for a while, not to mention the fact that it could take you some time to conceive due to the endo and cysts, so that's even more time of discomfort. Like others said, there are so many children out there in need of homes, that you have the option of adopting. I don't know a whole lot about it and what is involved, but I remember one of the other ladies, I believe it was Dakota's Mom (?) that adopted and had a lot of positive advice on it, so you could check with her or any of the other women here that may have adopted or are in the process of doing so, just for some peace of mind and to explore your options. On the flip side, as a women, most of us feel the natural desire to conceive. Having the hysterectomy now could cause you a lot of emotional pain and depression in the future, because you were not able to fulfill that longing. It's simply instinct. I don't know hon, it's a really tough decision that only you in your heart will know what's best for you. I wish you much luck and peace... {{{HUGS SWEETIE}}}
I agree with Daisymae. You need to get your heart straight on the "what-ifs" because it's those things that we regret. I would say bear the pain and try to conceive for as long as you can. When it gets unbearable, then you can have the surgery, with or without child and know in your heart that you did what you needed to do. You should come see Dr. Redwine here in Bend. He is supposed to be a leading authority on endo.
