My first time~Does age matter if it's real love?

Let's start off this way.....to me, age has nothing to do with anything when it comes to love......whenever you're mature enough to make the conscious decision that you're ready, it's ok~at least that's how I go with things. So last night, I lost my virginity for the 2nd time....(I was raped the first time, so spiritually I still considered myself a virgin after I got over the self-hatred part of it).......I think we were both ready......I'm just wanting to know some of you guys' opinions......Thanks

 

Well, most of what you said is right on. Love is an emotion that settles in when all elements of your relationship are aligned. Just understand that you are still young yet, and you may end up having other relationships that fail or succeed, so use this time as a learning phase; if you guys end up being together for the long run, splendid!

I am sorry to hear that you were taken advantage of in such a manner; my sister was as well, and there was nothing I could do about it.

If you feel in your heart love is coming on, then let the emotion flow. But do not use love as an expectation for the sex you had; that is where things get messy.

Good luck with it all!

 

Luckily, it's not a purely physical relationship at all. That's what was refreshing. I know it sounds stupid and naive for a girl less than half your age talking about love, but thanks for your thoughts. Much appreciated I assure you. ;-)

 

.

 

*sigh* love again. seriously, if you're ready, you're ready. if you're not, you're not. love doesn't really come into play, since the entire thing is going to be mildly painful and somewhat embarassing no matter what. having your first time with someone who's a friend and cares for you is really all you can ask for. be protected, be discreet. because for some reason that is completely beyond my comprehension, other people are more interested in whom you fuck than you are. and if you seriously dream of losing your virginity to the man you plan to spend the rest of your life with, don't lose it now, because the odds are nearly 100% that you're not going to be with this boy forever. but no matter what, it's such a sweet experience if you look at it as such. it all just comes down to how you see it in your own mind.

 

Age shouldn't matter, if the love is real. Unfortunately, there are some exceptions (IMO) to that rule. If the age difference is extreme, not only can maturity levels affect your relationship but the reactions from parents, friends and even strangers can be thoroughly draining. I'm not suggesting that you concern yourself with others opinions too much, but it really can weigh down a relationship if everyone thinks you're doing something wrong.

As for family or parents, that's another toughie. If they're supportive, that's awesome. However, if they are not, it can be a nightmare! If you are still living under their roof, you should take into consideration their views and opinions. You are required to at least show them a little respect.

Considering you're fourteen, I have to wonder how old is the partner is question? Remember, you're very young and your views on love may not be what they may be in the years to come. If you're certain it's love, and you feel the positives outweigh the consequences, then go for it. More power to you.

My boyfriend is five years older than me, although it doesn't matter now, when we got together I was seventeen. Everyone I knew told that it was a bad idea and that I didn't know what I was getting myself into. It was an exhausting and draining period of time that I would not want to repeat. But, we're still together and more in love than ever, so it was worth it.

All in all, you know yourself best and you should make the decision by what you feel is right.

 

...your profile says your 14.

How much older was this guy!? I mean.. in some states that's rape. (not to make light of what happened to you in the past)

 

Chill!!! He's only about 2 years older.........no worries everybody........and the way I look at it, we were both ready.......and everyone around us are "supportive"......also, i get really defensive when people bring up the question of maturity.........not to be arrogant....but that is an area of which I am certainly not lacking mentally, spiritually, intelectually, OR when it comes to knowing love when I feel it. If children can love their mothers, why do people get uneasy about people's ability to love other people....?

 

yeah, no doubt. back off this girl. she's pretty intelligent and capable for a young person her age.

hey everyone, instead of having a mature, adult discussion without regarding someone's age, let's just all act like a bunch of bastards! that'll be really great! we can feel like we're doing a good thing by telling a teen not to trust their heart or their instincts and that all they are is a big ball of hormones that is incapable of loving another human being!**note the sarcasm.**

i think anyone can fall in love with someone at any age. that doesn't mean it'll last forever, but it CAN happen. first loves are lovely and beautiful, and even if they don't work out long term, they're neccessary. love can also come in many different forms and can be felt by all sorts of different people of differing ages.

we have got to come off this mentality that teenagers are stupid and incapable. this is how we get the disenfranchised youth, by basically showing and telling them that we have no faith in them whatsoever.

 

No offense, but I think 14 is too young. The way I think of it- imagine if something happened and you ended up pregnant. Sure, pessimistic, but I wouldn't have sex unless I knew I could emotionally handle that. At 14, there's just no way.

You can be in love and not have sex. In fact, it's better that way. I've been with my boyfriend almost a year and never had sex with him, yet I know he's my soul mate. I mean, we've even slept together in the same bed naked but not actually had sex.

And also, I lost my virginity to a rape as well. Anxiousness to have sex and please a guy, at least for me and just about everyone else I know in the same situation, is something that follows. I was raped about 5 months ago and I still feel like I have to please every guy that comes across my path because of the emotional turmoil the rape put me through. Just don't do something for that reason.

And Sonador... I am a teenager and I know teenagers are capable of much more than most people give credit for, but I consider myself a very mature person all across the board, and I know that when I was 14 and had my first "love", I did some very stupid, immature things that ended up hurting all involved. I'm only 3 years removed from 14, and I still think having sex at that age is a waste.

 

i lost mine at 14 and never regretted or looked back. i was protected so i didn't get pregnant, and never did i become a hooker! astonishing, i know. the american teenager is a pure fabrication of the 20th century. yeah, she might catch some hell, but we'll all catch some hell at some point in our life.

 

I think 14 is a bit too young, but a 2 years age difference is nothing. So if you're ready for sex in general, this should be no problem.

 

She got that reaction from me because she never mentioned this guy was 2 freekin years older than her. I have no cares if it's that close in age. But everything she said sounded to me she was refering to someone 10-30 years older than her. And now she came out and said the distance in age this guy is, then there is no problems. At I assume it's now painted me as an asshole, because I pointed to the fact she is 14 and wanted to know if this guy was a teen or an adult.

I don't have any quams if you agree or disagree with it, I was just stating a reaction, and now i'm stating in my defense.