I'll apologize in advance for this boring post. Sorry. Okay, I had two seperate groups of friends, one from high school, and one from out of school. My best friend in the former group is named Daryll, and my best friend from the second is named Jessyca (or just Jess). Last year I started college, and both groups came to the same college, but never really mixed with each other. For months, I have been falling more and more deeply in love with Jess, though she didn't know. Anyhow, a few months ago, I dropped out of college for serious health reasons, but have been trying (and failing for the most part) to keep in touch with everybody. I phone people frequently, but no one ever wants to talk or even see me, and no one phones me. It turns out that since I left, the groups have merged into one big one, lots of new relationships have started, and meanwhile I've been falling farther and farther into reclusiveness (again the health). The thing is, It turns out Daryll and Jess have fallen for each other, and while I know I should be happy for them, I can't be. I was just on the phone with Jess, and our conversation came to my admitting my love for her, which didn't go as well as it could've, and then her telling me about her and Daryll. Now I feel sick. I want to throw up. I want to curl up on the ground and weep. I want to die... I have no idea why I posted this. I'm just so lost...
Christ, and it's almost 1 am and I'm exhausted, but my dreams are traumatizing enough when I've had a good day... well, no sleep tonight.
Don't fret.. I too have been in a similar position in the past and it almost killed me.. Acutally, it would have if there was no intervention.. I guess my point is that no matter how messed up things get, no matter how "alone" you may feel.. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! If I lived near Ottawa, I would hang with you and explain some things.. LIFE IS TOO SHORT! I've been without a girlfriend for 3 years because the last one was so f'ed up and traumatizing.. I too have lost friend and groups of friends from the past.. I want you to promise me that you will not do anything rash.. Talk to me and I will talk to you... REGARDLESS of what is going on.. I will talk about anything.. I want to help man.. I found alot of comfort with the Rainbow Family.. We are all kind loving people and you can be too.. Happiness is what we make it.. So is Sadness.. but together anyhthing is possible.. Here is something we in the Rainbow Family say.. Loving you (meaning We love all our brothers and sisters) you included... No matter where we go, there we are.. Loving you! Daniel
That sucks hon. If you're in college, it sounds like it's time to find new friends - ones who will actually care when you're having medical issues and be willing to talk with you, keep you in the loop. I wouldn't be too upset about the two people though... I mean, plenty of other fish in the sea. You can't really blame either of them because they didn't know how you felt before they started dating, right? Yeah, it's a tough spot and it sucks right now but it'll get better. Unrequited love is a pretty tough thing to deal with.
all I can say is that everyone knows how you feel. You don't need anyone else to make you happy. you can do it yourself, you just need to find your inner strength. It won't hurt so bad after awhile and you can move on. I suggest giving yourself time to heal before throwing yourself into an uncomfortable position with one of your friends. Take care. I'm so sorry your heart is broken.
Well, I have been there before as well, bro. The best action I can think to take is to be friends to them as you were, and put that first. If Jess happens to lose the relationship, do not be her 'fall back'--be her friend and if she is seriously wanting to pursue you, let her, because being the fallback person is worse than having no one at all...
