I am going to kill myself.

Acetonephish you explain so well.

 

Lizardman, I just skimmed through the posts and had to register just to reply. Straight out, the kind of depression you describe is typical of "clinical" depresison. Clinical jsut means it meets certain criteria. You've put it off long than I did and I understand that doing that may take longer to get back from depression. Please ask your doctor about antidepressants. Don't be ashamed or embarassed about this. He/she has probably talked to at least a half dozen other peopel the same week about it.

Sometimes you have to try different antidepressants before they work. And it takes time. from several weeks to several months. It may never go away (depressing isn't it?) but it can be managed and your life can be better. More than likely though, it will get much better. Im my case, I did not need to stay on them after a year but it's comforting to know that if I need it, help is available.

My other suggestions are: get out and walk every day. Start with one block, then 1-1/2, etc. Get a bicycle and bike for 15 minutes, then 1/2 every day. Light exercise will get you out and into the rest of your community too. WHich is my other suggestion. Get involved-not yet, but when you are feeling better. Volunteer somewhere form a community centre or church to Red Cross or a hospotal..whereever you can . Getting involved in other people's lives improves our own. BTW the reason your friends stopped calling is because it took so much out fo them to deal with you when you were depressed. And they aren't health professionals, they are just people. Don't expect them to understand depression unless they've been there. So forgive them for that.

I suspect that you do not want to kill yourself but that you just want things to change, to get better. They can, and even though depressed people typically think no-one can help them, your doctor can. Please go.

I may not be back here-busy in many forums but that's what I can give you. Take care

 

Then more than likely you have a deepresstion dissorder

 

From what I've seen people don't generally become chronically depressed over the bad things that happen. It's more about a lack of good things happening, and a belief that good things can't happen, or that nothing that could happen would be good enough.

One nice thing about most beliefs, being the self deluded creatures that we are, is that they're usually wrong.

 

I can't go to the doctor. First I would have to tell my mother, then I would have to go to the doctor. She would be in the room with me and the doctor, and I don't want that. I might not feel depressed when I get to the doctors office, and I wouldn't be able to explain. Also, the doctor might tell me to "snap out of it", I don't know my doctor that well.

 

so,i have been school for about 20 years ,i hate school, but i have no choice, because it is in china, maybe it is a straight way to the upper class. i know it's wrong in us, but it is in here.

life maybe a boring thing, all the things wo should to live hippiely.

 

Oh boy....I've been there...hell....I'm still there.......but you just gotta realize what there IS to live for.....live for love, for beauty, for life alone........Don't give up on yourself......I know I may sound stupid because I don't really know your story, but it seems we have similar ones....if you ever need to chat with a fellow hipster.....talk to me please....it would be nice to have another someone to relate to......

 

Hey! I found the forum again!

How old are you and where do you live (just State, Province, or whatever)? I'll try to find out what rules/laws would apply to you. But in general, the doctor should be able to talk to you without your mother in the room. Depending on where you live, after a certain age (and even before it, in some circumstances) communication with a doctor is confidential, regardless of whether you are a "minor" or not. You could simply phone up the doctor's office and ask them what the policy/law is. (BTW can you imagine
your Mom being in the room if you were having your testicles examined or a swollen breast?) Then you know exactly where you stand as far as that part. If there is no automatic billing to an insurance company your parent(s) will have to know about the visit and the billing of course. But that shoudl be OK. Your parent(s) are going to want you to be healthy. That's what the medical system is there for.

As far as the doctor saying something like "snap out of it", I understand your concern. And to be honest, if you are a teen, many parents and some doctors will take that attitude. At first. But a good doctor will not. You may have to tell the doctor (assuming you are a Teen) "I know Teens get moody but I lnow this goes beyond that. Today is a good day. OTher days, I can't function." Or something like that.

Get back to me with location and age, ok?

 

I'm fairly certain you can book an appointment and go get this sorted without your parents needing to know at this stage, and if not then don't let it prevent you from seeking help. I went and got myself sorted without my parents knowing, I was given medication and everything without needing their consent, I sat them down and told them when I was ready. You need to stop putting up barriers, do you want to feel better and have a happier life or do you want to wallow in self pity forever?

 

Oh bloody hell, another I'm a teen and I want to kill myself situation.

Alright, this is going to seem really insensitive and rude.

But get the fuck over it.

My dad always taught me PosAtti, which stands for a Positive Attitude... its great advice, I suggest you try it. Every single damn post you have (or near it) is "I can't this" "I can't that" "It won't work" or some stupid shit like that.

So you are depressed. Every damn person in the world gets depressed at times. You know why the rest of us don't whine about it? Well we have good positive attitudes and the common sense to know that we are still just beginning our lives.

So there are a lot of people who seem insensitive, my guess is they are tired of hearing this day after day after day after day after day.................................after day after day from the same young teens with the same "I'm depressed and my life sucks" attitude.

Start doing something with your life, every minute you think about it is another minute you dwell on it and make it worse. When I am depressed I play video games because it takes my mind off the situation.

And another thing, actually TALK to your parents, I can almost guarantee they'd rather see you happy then wondering why you are always depressed watching you from a distance pull the same shit so many others have done. Seclude themselves. Because NO ONE can really understand right. Yeah that's why they've made all the hotlines and so many people have a fucking stereotype about the situation.

So all in all not to sound rude, but I don't care if I do.

Get over it, get some help, stop thinking about it, and find a way to occupy your time and have some fucking fun for pete's sake.

Don't guano all over you life because you have a negative attitude, you dumb fuck, PosAtti, now here's a ball... go play.

Have some fun!

-Litos

 

Hey Lizardman...PM me when you're feeling really low, I'm going through some major shit right now too & I have NOBODY to talk to.

 

Kindwoman,

What's wrong??you can send me a message if you want..
rumiloldtiger@yahoo.com
old tiger(Belgium)

 

I think you are confusing depression with the blues and sadness. Which is a fairly common mistake. Depression is a non-elective . You don't get over it with a positive attitude.It's a medical state, brain chemistry is at the root of it and usually it can be cured or managed reasonably well. In severe cases it can take a long time to find the right dosage of, or combinaton of medication. The sooner Lizardman0 gets some treatment, the easier it will be to treat and the better the chance of it not recurring. Having said that, in my first post I didn't realise that he was a Teen (at least I think he is). Fairly recent research shows that Teens don't always react to anti-depressants the way adults do, so different types, or combinations may be necessary.

Depression can't be cured by playing video games.

I will agree that it would be good to talk to his parent(s) though, if he can. I didn't suggest that because he seems to have some problem with dealing with this as far as his mother is concerned. Regardless, talking to her won't help the depression but it might help him get on his way to the doctor, for professional help.

 

Lizard are you still whining and begging for attention? SHEESH, its apparent you dont wanna die so shut the fuck up about it.

 

Actually if your having all these feelings now high school won't make them any better. Only you can do that.

When I was younger than you I was held for days by 2 men, and had unspeakable things done to me,
I managed to get away, but still had nightmares constantly untill about 6 years ago, the occasional one still pops up.

I was molested by my father at a very young age, and for years and years after these things happened I had suicidal tendencies. I couldn't feel clean and trust was non-existant. I met someone when I was young who helped me understand about my soul, and that my life held so much meaning, it was meant to be lived, there were so many lessons to be learned and yes, there was even joy out there waiting for me. The last time I saw him i was 14 and for years and years I dreamt about him.

I loved him, never thought I would see him again. Well, I went through relationships but couldn't forget him. I had children and I even did learn alot of lifes lessons, but all through it i held on to words that he told me, about my soul and my life being a journey, that the true test of time is how I got through it. How I choose to use those lessons I've learned.

I know now that dreams do come true, that there is magic to be had, that no matter what happens and how down you get, there really is someone out there who would love to trade problems with you.

I found that man again, about 7 years ago. I had not talked to him in 27 years.
We are married now, with a little house that we built ourselves in the woods.
We both are older, with quite a bit of gray showing...but none of that matters because if I had ever killed myself...I would not have the magic that I have now.

Peace little brother....you are never alone.
teepi

 

Playing the computer doesn't help, it makes me feel worse because I don't talk to anybody. Yes, I am 15. I have been depressed everyday several hours a day for the past several months and I have had thoughts of suicide for the past two years.

 

No, I don't want to die stupid. Nobody wants to die, damn you don't know. You don't seem to understand that suicidal people don't want to die and that suicidal people want attention. If you said that to my face I would kick your ass.

 

You're not going to kill yourself. If you wanted to, you wouldn't have been so open about it, and you would've gone thru with it sooner. Stop listening to Evenescence or whatever crap you're listening to.

 

Okay, so I just need to say that I can't believe that this is still going on.

Lizardman is ignoring everyones suggestions and saying that everyone is suicidal because they want attention. I was deeply, deeply depressed for hm... 7 years. Yes, from when I was 9 until this year. I was in the hospital for a total of 3 years during that time, with the depression corresponding with my slew of other problems (eating disorders, self injury, drug use, suicide attempts, etc.). All of that was just to say that I understand what's going on, and I gave him so many suggestions that it's not freaking funny. And then he responds to say "It's just for attention". That's it. And we're giving him just what he wants--attention. He doesn't care if it's positive or negative, he just wants people to think "Oh, poor lee-zard." Okay?

So, acetonephish, no, I'm not making the situation worse. I did my best to help him and he shrugged it off thinking that no one else in the world has ever been through anything that he is going through, because he's just that freaking special. I am a dial-a-counselor for depressed teenagers, I know how to deal with them. I've helped more of them than I can remember, and you have no idea how frustrating it is to see someone completely ignore your CONSTRUCTIVE and well thought out suggestions, and yet spend tons of time responding to the insults.

Hmph.

 

killing yourself is a permanent solution to a temporary problem....at least that was what they told me in the loony bin