Night Falling on the Mountains Row on row of mountains Hide in the mists of evening, The sun having died into night And the sky still red with her blood But the trees maintain themselves Stoic through the night Firm and rooted, But reaching ever upwards. For they know the death throes To be a farce and a drama Played by a lonely sun Jealous of the myriad stars
absolutely beautiful.... really, thanks. the "but" in line "But reaching ever upwards." seemed out of place a little, especially when read out loud... i think because it follows so soon after another? it sounds like it flows better out loud without it, "firm and rooted; reaching ever upwards"? but i dunno, read it out loud maybe and see. peace, sophia
no, thank you And you're right, it doesn't seem to fit. It seems to need something, because "firm and rooted" and "reaching ever upwards" are opposites. Maybe if I said "YET reaching ever upwards"? I'll have to think about it...
Thanks for posting this, put a smile on my face, well structured and presented with beautiful, striking imagery that doesn't bog down the mind but instead plants the image along with the mood.
Enjoyed the imagery very much. Sounds like my day yesterday put to poetry, ty! Maybe you could drop the first "but" instead of the second. The first one doesn't seem needed unlike the second one.
