Maybe this won't make sense, but...

That is exactly what I was afraid of...

For all those that have helped thus far, she has not called today and again was at the ex's last night...I sent her several text messages trying to make sense of her actions---to no avail thus far.

 

Yeah, I gotta agree with this. If she is this dramatic this early in a relationship you are just askin for trouble. But then I'm one of those that would rather be alone than deal with such drama.

 

Drama sucks. I always seem to create my own in my own head based on paranoia, lack of trust, boredom and all that other bullshit. I don't know how this friend of yours does it. It destroys all relationships... even those that are absolutely perfect. Thats why I myself prefer to be single when I can be (which isn't more then a couple days at a time heh). I don't want anybody to put up with my fucking mind problems. But I still can't function by myself because I haven't been single in years so its hard as fuck not to dive into a relationship. Or lead a guy on by accident. I always think hmmm. maybe I can practice my dating skills with this fellow or get myself some -friends-, not partner. but nope, all guys are looking for sex in my oppinion and its hard.

Sometimes I get so strung out by it that I take myself outside in some nature area. This most recently happened to me on Thursday and I got myself behind a mobile home park near a canal. About as naturistic as it gets in the area I was in. Kept kicking stones into the water on accident and I decided I loved the sound. It was this cool plopping sound. That made me laugh. Talking to people helps me out too that aren't the people I'm in a relationship with. Plus sleeping. I've been a chronic sleeper all week.

Good luck with us chicks that are a pain in the ass to maintain. Some of us are almost impossible to watch too. I dont know what I hate more. Being attractive and getting all these freakin men in my face or being oblivious to emotion and not being able to read people jack shit. Its weird.

People are a trip. I hope your friend is aware of whats going on but be careful. The way you say things in the last post tells me you are willing to stick a whole leg out in the road. Don't risk yourself so much for someone. They can bite you off whenever they want. Which looks possible in this scenario. People won't be thankful or responsive like you think. Its a bitch.

 

I can understand what you mean there, but I actually seem to find the ones that love to cheat, or love to lie then cheat, or if they don't want to lie/cheat, then they just don't want to be tied down. Can't seem to find any balance

I wanted to stick it out, but then I took what you said about staying away and iggying her, and so I really think that is what I will do; just seems more logical for the situation I am in. If she fails to come back, I can add her to the growing list of women I would love to put on ships and send to Antarctica. If she does return, she really needs to be devoted and try, and have to be willing to work on the communication factor and drop this whole "I'm going to see the ex" thing. Friends, yes--wanting to be at his house overnight and be inconsiderate, no.

 

*Update*


Last night I received my very own "Dear John" letter...and it was just as predicted; blaming me for the fact that she felt obligated to screw around. One minute she said that she was ready for that 'big step' into the world of serious relationships, then recanted as soon as she found out I was serious, too.

In her closing statement, she told me that our friendship was in my hands. Not sure the meaning of that statement, but I sent several text messages to her trying to make sense of it all. She even went as far as saying that I would "sleep with someone else before she did"...what kind of shit is that?

 

I’ll be damned if this girl doesn’t sound like a bpd (borderline personality), but even if she’s not, you should run like holy hell away from this girl; you’ve gotten a whole slew of red flags thrown at you, and you’d better pay attention. You’re not going to get a healthy relationship from her, and there’s nothing you could or should even want to fix in her. It’s a nice sentiment, but totally unrealistic. There’s nothing you can do to help somebody who doesn’t want to be fixed.

Out of curiosity, how long have you known her?

 

well I don't know waht your faith has to do with it she sounds like a liar though and a cheat i can't tell you what to do but i would let her go man

 

Yeah, it is rather pointless to try and help the unhelpable. I guess, with the type of heart I possess, I felt obligated to help her out if there is something seriously wrong with her. Problem with that is--I would probably end up the one needing help at the end of it all...

 

Yeah, you would. Psychological abuse is a vicious thing. It already seems like she’s doing the whole on again/off again thing; which will wear you down in ways unimaginable. If you went no contact with her and ignored all communications with her, avoided her at all costs; as time passed you’d be asking yourself, what was I thinking?

 

It is really going to be hard for me to know when a woman is bullshitting me or not anymore. This one was really sweet, tender and caring towards me---didn't see a hint of emotional imbalance within her. It all just kind of flowed out in one horrible stream, though. Just really only ever wanted a woman that I can be totally into--someone that I can talk to about anything, entrust valuable information with, and share life together, as a team.

Really beginning to wonder where in this life I can find such a wonderful woman like that...