found something kinda funny...

[size=+1]TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN

Take off clothing and place in sectioned laundry
hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover
exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.

Look at your womanly physique in mirror and
stick out gut so you can complain and
whine even more about getting fat.

Get in shower.

Look for facecloth, armcloth,
legcloth, long loofah,
wide loofah and pumice stone.[/size]

[size=+1]

Wash hair once with Cucumber and
Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.

Wash hair again with Cucumber and
Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.

Condition hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey
conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil.[/size]

[size=+1]

Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.

Wash face with crushed apricot facial
scrub for ten minutes until red raw.

Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut
and Jaffa Cake body wash.[/size]

[size=+1]

Rinse conditioner off hair
(this takes at least fifteen minutes as you
must make sure it has all come off).

Shave armpits and legs.

Consider shaving bikini area but
decide to get it waxed instead.[/size]



[size=+1]

Scream loudly when husband flushes toilet
and you lose the water pressure.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.[/size]

[size=+1]

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of
a small African Country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.

Check entire body for remotest sign of a zit.

Attack with nails/tweezers if found.[/size]

[size=+1]

Return to bedroom wearing long
dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way,
cover up exposed areas, then rush to
bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.


[/size]



[size=+1]HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN

Take off clothes while sitting on edge
of bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see your wife along the way,
shake wiener at her and make "woo"sound.

Look at manly physique in mirror and
suck in gut to see if you have pecs
(no).[/size]



[size=+1]

Admire size of wiener in the mirror,
scratch "privates" and
smell fingers for one last whiff.

Get in the shower.

Don't bother to look for washcloth
(you don't use one).

Wash face, then armpits.[/size]

[size=+1]

Crack up at how loud fart sounds in the shower.
Wash privates and surrounding area.

Wash butt, leaving hair on the soap bar.

Shampoo hair (do not use conditioner).

Make a shampoo Mohawk.

Pull back shower curtain and
look at yourself in the mirror.[/size]

[size=+1]

Pee (in the shower).

Rinse off and get out of the shower.

Fail to notice water on floor because you left
curtain hanging out of tub the whole time.

Partially dry off.

Look at self in the mirror, flex muscles.[/size]

[size=+1]

Admire wiener size again.

Leave shower curtain open,
wet bath mat on floor.

Leave bathroom fan and light on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass your wife, pull off the towel,
grab your wiener, go "Yeah
baby" and thrust your pelvis at her.[/size]

[size=+1]

Throw wet towel on the bed.

Take 2 minutes to get dressed.[/size]

 

you didn't leave any room for masturbating!!

 

I don't do more than half the things listed for the male one... I guess I'm not yet a man

 

not a boy, not yet a man.

hahah, i don't do half that shit, either.

 

dude, even if you're not married and live by yourself, the woo woo sounds are mandatory!

 

Get out of bed


Walk to shower in boxers with yesterdays towel

Turn shower on

Take of boxers

Admire myself

Test water and adjust until it's right and get in

Wet entire body

Shampoo

Rinse

Condition

Rinse

Turn off water that has been luke warm or cold because the woman who used the shower before used all the hot water.

Open curtain, grab towel

Semi-dry off

Wipe condensation of mirror and get rid of all clearly noticable zits

Walk back to room using towel to cover my private, but not actually wrap it around me

Throw towel on bed.

De-odorize and put on cologne

Throw on yesterdays boxers

Last weeks shirt, and tuesday's pants...they're clean enough

Go to school.

 

see now im different....

get a clean towel

head to bathroom

undress

wait for husband to come in and tell me im hot

turn shower on

get wet

shampoo

rinse

condition rinse

shave what needs to be shaved

get all soapy

play with the soap

rinse

get out

simi-dry off

run to room with towel drapped over me

husband drys me off more

get dressed in 3 min.

throw hair up in pony tail

out the door to the smoke shop

 

lol the woo woo sounds are a must, cmonnnn

 

Woo woo is pretty much the official penis sound when you're goofing around. And I know I've laughed more than once at how loud a fart does sound in the shower.

Peace

 

ok this is me

go in the bathroom
undress
put the shower mat down
make sure the temp is right
wash my self with a bar of soap
shampoo
dont condition
rinse
most likely masturbate
then turn the water off
and when i come out i have a big smile on my face and look in the mirror and say "Look at my little tits"
thats when i take a shower at least twice a week
but masturbate more muahhahaha

 

weekdays
Get up at 9:50am for school.
Go to other bedroom and gather appropriate clothing
enter bathroom
turn on shower, knowing just where to turn the dial
strip
throw towel over curtain rod
wash hair
wash body
rinse hair/body
[shave face if applicable]
dry off speedy-quick
get dressed
brush teeth
insert contacts
eat something [sometimes]
leave house at 10:15

weekends
go about day
girlfriend comes over
strip eachother
go in shower and fuck each other
cleanse/rinse
put on towel
go to bedroom for more sex