There's this 19 year old girl at work who claims she's in love with me, is willing to give up all her other girlfriends and wants to have a serious relationship with me. A few reasons why I wouldn't do it: I'm not a lesbian, maybe bi-sexual at most but keen to just try same sex for more experience one on one, however I'm not the cheating type and my bf is quite traditional. In any case I just think of her as a little sister. But she never gives up! And she knows I have a bf. She doesn't stalk me or anything, she just keeps calling often to ask where I am, what am I doing, and keeps declaring her love. And I keep telling her nicely that I'm not interested. What to do?
If she's calling you to know where you are, what you're doing, and professing undying love for you even though you've already told her you have a boyfriend and aren't interested, that IS stalking. Honestly, if I were you, I'd tell her if she keeps it up you're going to get a restraining order.
Super Grrl is right... Its kinda scary... Tell her flat out your not interested and to leave you alone....
be straightup with her tell her that you love your bf and be careful. there was this girl a few years ago it started out almost exactly like your situation and then she got the same exact car as me and she would drive by my house and work all the time and would ask people about me like what ordered for lunch and then i was told that she would order the same thing it was freaky be carefully. this chick ended up vandelizing my moms house, my ex boyfriends house and my car-be very careful
yeah i agree with the ladies above me, in that it is mighty creepy. also, you might want to explain to her that if she truly loves you (which she obviously doesn't) she would respect you and the fact that you have a boyfriend. maybe explaining to her that she is just infatuated and dillusional would help? anyway, i had a point... you said you tell her nicely that you are not interested, but it doesn't work. i know some real crazies, so i can say that that's the problem right there -- stop being so nice! your nice-ness is probably what attracted her in the first place, and makes her think you are open to her, despite what you say (actions speak louder than words, afterall). she calls to ask where you are, but why are you answering the phone? if you have caller id, stop answering her calls!! if you don't have caller id, then maybe you can call the phone company and they'll block her number. it sounds harsh, but if you take her calls and treat her nicely, she won't stop! she wants your attention, so do not give her any, or she will just keep coming back for more. if i were you, i would start being rude to her, if you have to interact at all. i would not talk to her or look at her or smile at her. make her not want to be around you. you pretty much have to be "mean" in this situation. the other point i wanted to make was that if you work together, talk to your supervisor about the situation. tell your supervisor not to schedule the two of you at the same time, for starters. plus, if something happens, your boss is aware of the situation (let's say the girl tells the boss that she needs your address or new phone number to give you some work-related thing... your boss needs to know not to give her any of your info). also, have him/her secure your private info. could this girl look up your home address, or find the name and number of your emergency contact? if you're in the states, can she get your social security number? or if you have direct-deposit at your work, can she find out your bank account number? there are all sorts of things you want to make sure she doesn't get her hands on, if shes as crazy as she sounds. so i'd make sure that she can't find out any more about you.
