Shameless_Heifer and Haight Ashbury

Let me see,non-violence.

I want to kill,i wanna eat burnt dead bodies.,i wanna kill.You're funny tundra,in a kill,kill sort of way.You must have been a blast in the past,maybe too many drugs turned you paranoid.Coke will do that you know.

 

So if i agreed with violence i could also be" in the know"and enlightened.Wow!

 

Tundra,
When I was about thirteen, my daddy would take in Nam Vets and council them on living with 'after war'. My daddy never spoke of the killing he had to do in the two wars he faught in when my mama or us three girls were around. He did talk about the Pigmys and that they were cannabols and prefered the Milian soldiers over the amercains, because americans ate meat and it made them taste sour, but the milians ate rice and tasted sweet. He told us about when he got milairia and lost his hair. He told us of the beauty of the land the he faught to save from communist take over. I remember two book daddy had that he kept hid on the top shelf of his closet. They were books that had the horror of death and war. Me and my sisters would sneak looks in those books and were terrified of war and felt sorrow for all that were involved.
He show'd respect for the Nam Vets and their truamatized state of being. He sent a few of them to collage, with the help of the GI Bill. He talked them down off of acid or speed and reached their intellect. A few he counciled did recover and came back to reality. He was a great man ahead of his time. He died too soon, I didn't get enough of his knowledge. I was so young and doing my own thing to really listen, when I was old enough to understand, he was gone. I did retain all the survival skills he had taught us the whole time we were growing up. I suppose that's what stuck with me. How to take care of myself and survive. I thank him for that. Most daddys don't teach their girls self defence or how to shoot, hunt and fish. He also taught us about GOD and right from wrong. He loved us unconditionaly and was always there for us to help us solve our problems. I do miss him so.

D-mama, I love your Sister Spirit, and yes one would have to experience it to understand. It's like trying to discribe the beauty of a rose to a blind man. To spectulate with out the experience lacks authintisity and is hollow inside. Like a wish sandwhich, all bread and no sustanence inside.

I sometimes get what apperars to be angry and intence. As I have said before a while back. I'm in a state of grieving. I lost my beloved daughter to CF in 2000, she was 25. I am at the anger point in the grieving process. With this said, I hope you all understand when I sound harsh or angry, it's my emotional heart crying out in pain, anger and frustration. When something touches or gets too close to bringing that to the surface, I am at times unable to contain my grief and it comes out ugly and in ways I don't yet understand myself. Posessing all these emotions is a hard row to hoe at times. Thanks for understanding y'all. LOVE LOVE LOVE.

 

Heiffer,
Oh you are from a military family then? So is my wife Katie and yes she can survive anywhere and is a natural with a firearm and I wish she would go down to the range with me sometimes just to wow people. Her father is still alive and she has been doing all this intense gourmet cooking for years now to hopefully keep him that way. Italian cuisine is the healthiest in the world and she slowly converted her Dad into quite the paisano. Our grandchild(ren?) will grow up far from the Midwest but hopefully she/they will be able to visit their great grandfather sometime at a cognitive age? For certain they will have lifelong memories of the event!
Tundrahopper4
PS. Lost a child? I cannot imagine!

 

Shameless,
I am truly sorry for your loss.May her soul be with you always.

 

Tundra,
I don't know if people understand the times back the. When my father had to move us from his beloved Texas and into East L.A. in 1958. To find better employment. He did not know that east la was a rough and on the verge of WATTS RIOTS, Mexican gangs and three country bumkins(us three little girls) right of out of Dallas, saying y'all and and mam. There was gang members cruising our house in LA and daddy had to run the off with threatening gestures, Like the 4/10 he carried out to the porch. Our ages we 12, 10 and me 8. Daddy had us all stregical positions at the windows we were all armed, yes even me at eight yrs old had been taught to handle ourselve in a time of emergency or attack.. My daddy worked day and night to get us out of there. He was finely able to move us to the comfort zone of Anahiem, and we prospered well. Daddy became a VIP in the Space Program around 1960 and invented the communicatins apperatus on the first satilites and later on the Minute Man. He was a mathamatical genious and a self taught man, as he only went to eight grade and had to go to work and support his mama, three sisters and his little brother. Their father lost to malnutrition at 35. It was hard pressed times in east texas in the 30's, no work and no food, my grandpa went without so his family could survive.

 

Thank you Gate. My Amy will always be in my heart, mind, and soul. She lives on through her beautifull daughters, Samantha 12 and Josie 7. She is sorely miss in the physical world. I die a little each day without her. My whole world revolved around her and her beauitful soul. What a gental woman she was. What beautiful love she poscessed. I ache for her. She is at peace. I surffer tremendously. I watch as her girls sleep this morning, they both look like their mama esp when they are slleeping. So very hard, so very very hard. Every pore bleeds tears in her absents.

 

Shameless,
Your Dad sounds like a titan allright-though campus leftists of the day might have labelled him "a racist hillbilly warmonger cog in the military industrial machinery". The campus leftists of the day were full of shit. People with Southern Accents were also dumped on back in the day (You still have your's I hope!). Like for certain traditional American racism was a hugely negative thing but "counter racist chic" seemed to me in it's way equally as illogical.
Now back during my career as a drug dealer I used to hang with some black guys who lived downstairs and we had a good ole time playing Spades and listening to Motown and generally partying. Was talking with a great guy who had adapted an African name and I still consider a friend even though I have not heard from him since '72. N--- was saying something about these dewey eyed college whiteys coming into the community expecting all black people to be these angelic beings? That it was so much crap and that there were a lot of really lowlife, nasty ripoff black people out there not worth a damn. Flash of truth in my head then; "Yeah-us whiteys got a lot of those too!" We both laughed and high fived over that one. So what is humanity? Well the best explanation I have heard is "one percent angels, two percent devils and the rest shades of gray." This cuts across the board. I was certainly leading a double life in those days what with college by day and N---'s world by night!
At any rate I once was talking about things with some "concerned" college squarehead and came up with a Shakespeare quote; "There are stranger things on heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy, Horatio." Response; "Whaaaaa....?" Me; "Oh...never mind...." Do not throw pearls before swine I guess....
haha,
Tundrahopper4
PS. And it sounds like you come from good family (I do not-and the reason we helped our kids move out West and stay there was to get them away from the toxic influences of my family of orgin. BAD FOLKS all around...but that is another tale).

 

darn college students,pushing that civil rights nonsense,I mean,bring back the old days of seperate water fountains.Proud to be a southern man.

 

Just when you start to see the light, the curtain falls and darkness over takes us.
We are here to learn and grow kinder in our experiences as we age, most of us as I see it, are striving for their own peace. Each of us to live with our own demons.
What karma we made for ourselves when we were young and full of fire are what we live out today.
What ever it was that drove us to become what we are today, are our lessons learned. What we have taken and what we have given.
Taking more then, leaves you with little today. The more you gave then, brings you more today. The old antage, you reap what you sow.
Farmers know that if you plant bad seeds you will have a bad harvest. Strong healthy seeds and nurturing will produce superior crops to keep one through the winter of life.
When we give thanks for the harvest we also gives thanks that we are able to give as well as recive.
When we become malcontent, we are not giving so we may recive, that's when the darkness sets in and we lose our way. Our path becomes foggy and we cant see our way clear of the obsticals that bind us and keep us in confusion.
What binds us is of our own making and we are in power to break free at any time we choose. We allow ourselves to get caught up in situations of own own doing, buy creating friction where there is none, bringing negitivity which is the obstical we are learning to overcome and set ourselves free from, the burdens that bring us down spiritualy and leave us malcontent.
When we cut ourselves off from the light within us all we become selfish, ego ridden and judgemental, we are so stuck in our own self that we are left without our guiding light.
With no light to see by we stumble our way through life casting the shadow of negitivity on all that crosses our path. WE stumble on to paths that are not ours to walk, we rebuke the teaching that are writen on the wall of Divine Rememberence and shove our own attitudes onto others paths. There by creating negitivity that is put into the universe to return to us later as karma.

 

when you hang your laundry out for the world to see...

 

Never did understand the need for people, who from what they Say they believe, should be pulling together to manifest a better world; to feud and keep the waters riled - a the devils playground - Y'all have fun, just make sure your sniping don't hit innocent bystanders -
My brother once asked me once when I started feuding with anothe,r in my younger days, if that just didn't fire up my blood and made me feel alive - I stopped right away - takes 2 to keep a feud alive - best way to deal with those too far gone to see another's veiw is to let them go their own Way - life has a way of teaching them better than we ever could.

So excuse me if I just duck and cover as this live amunition flies by - words can hurt even as bullets - guess you don't need a gun to continue to hurt another - that being your intention ?

So keep on Keeping on ???

Grow On - Enjoy !

 

Shameless,
There a fly buzzing around this room? Ah well-small matter.
At any rate; it was under an oak tree by a lake in Wisconsin sometime in August of 1970 when I hit the white light. Words could never adequetely describe the experience but here goes; I was asking the Great Spirit about the nature of things and recieved a "massive downloading" of intelligence. The great religions of the world? Well they are only a piece in the puzzle but they did get the afterlife thing right and there will be an accounting. And those who have passed on? They are not far.
And quite a lot more come pouring down through the oak leaves. Why such a thing could happen to a hardass like yrs trly is odd-but strange are the ways of the Great Spirit.
Love truly is all,
Tundrahopper4

 

Was that to me? Sorry I don't understand why?:&

*wanders back out of the thread*

 

Tundra,
buzz,buzz.Old wolf'sgot a point.This is going too far.I may be a troll,a fly.an insect,whatever the fuck you want to call me,but you're constantly throwing out the bait.If i'm guilty,you're just as bad.Anyway you're getting old,the only great spirit i think you've ever met must of been drug induced.Do some drugs,sex and your a hippie i guess.I've come to the conclusion that i don't need to further point out your bullshit cause anybody with half a brain can see that's it's simply bullshit.I've been called negative,but i have faith in my fellow man,i don't believe that we're 1% good and 2% bad.Man is basically good,a little selfish at times,but good.I don't need protection cause i got good karma.I've paid my"dues"Hopefully someday you too will learn to live in peace.Enough for now.

 

I think I will leave this thread alone, anything I say may and will be used against me. Flashing back can open up a mean can of worms and that was not my intent. Seems like I have to defend myself contenually over things that happeded fourty yrs ago.
The life I lead today is not how I use to live. Probably none of us live like we did in the 60's we're all grown up now and have grown in all ways. What we choose to bring with us we have to deal with as we can.

 

When I came to Hip Forums I thought that this would be a good place to share all the knowledge I have gathered over the last four decades. I thought I had gathered it to do some good with it, rather then let it set on the shelf and stagnate. I never meant to cause trouble or harm anyone. I'm not apologising for the intent, but it's becomming clear to me that I'm not making any progress. In fact I feel I'm going backwards. So I'm going to , pick myself up, brush myself off and contenue on my journey.
I will check in my personal forums to answer any healing questions that are posted and answer messages.

 

I came upon this very interesting discussion about arms, and i wondered... did you see bowling for columbine? Michael Moore?
fear is the real danger.. and as one famous old green jedi once said.. fear leads to anger.. and anger with a gun?
But, I come from the Netherlands, and it is not normal to have a gun here, even after a radical moslim killed Theo van Gogh. So I guess i am just as biased as everybody else here?
good vibes
Katchoo

 

The biggest problem I have with Michael Moore is that his fact's are sometimes lacking in fact's. But I admire Mr. Moore's ability to enrage rightwing conservatives everywhere ...



shameless it appears you have been in almost as much combat as I have...


tundrahopper what really pissed me off about Vietnam the most was lousing two really beautiful girlfriends. One who I meet again ten years later who said she was sorry. And she made the mistake of listening to her mother who destroyed the three or four letters I sent to Kathy before she could read them. I gave up on her. Young Love.How sweet...