a little secret affair at school...

alrighty i haven't been on in a while, but I'm going to post a little true story here
there this anti-hippy, love-to-shop-and-pass-judgement barbie girl at my highschool. she has a reputation for being a drugged up slut. shes dating this guy, she's dating that guy, and so on. Well, she's got some psychological problem, she has a few doctors and such, and she essentially treats ppl like shit so they wont get close. I offered my hear to her and she took it. And for one day, gave me hers. I was queen of the universe. and then bam. She rejects me, after everything she said to me, and i gave her so much leeway, I didn't judge the fact that she had a boyfriend WHILE she had me as a secret girlfriend. I was just happy to be with her, ya know? It bothered me, but no point adding to all the trouble in her life. and Now we're "friends" which means NOTHING to her, and I knew that going into the whole mess. I KNEW it would end this was, and still I went ahead. I'd never been in love before, but there I was, her pet on a leash.
Anyways, Now I'm ill, then pissed, when she smiles and waves in the halls at school, and the worst part is I have a class with her, and I cannot for the life of me concentrate. Anyone had a situation like this?

 

I'd either confront her (which I'd be more likely to do) about how horribly she's treated you, or totally forget her (well, try), or both..

I've been in a somewhat similar situation where I've just been ditched every time my friend got a girlfriend, then when it was convenient I was still the love of his life and his best friend etc etc.. it was totally ridiculous and I ended up confronting him about the way he treats me and he does try to treat me better now, which is good. But if your relationship does mean nothing to her and you confront her she's more likely to just turn around and slag you off to everyone..

Really tough situation.. best of luck dude peace

 

I've got three words for you. . . DUMP THE BITCH! If she's that much "bad news" to everyone she crosses paths with, then you're much better off with that human hurricane out of your life.

-- Skeeter

 

okay so like an idiot, I was in the library for fifth period....with her... you see, steph and I were chillin in the corner and SHE was sitting across the room with this guy that she dislikes, he's a bit of a creeper.. anyways, I could tell it was paining her to sit with him, and she looked over at steph and I, so when she got up to go look at books I intercepted her and told her i knew she hated him, and she could sit with us. She did. and we were all chatty, like friends, her steph and I.. and I threw some barbs and her, as well as compliments, and she took them both. then the bell went and school ended, we got up to leave. steph, then her, then I, were headed in the direction of the door, but she wasnt really leaving and neither was i. steph got the hint and left. and this is a sorta recollection of the conversation... I wrote it down after in my journal, its almost verbatim...: (I'm the " ~ " quotations..,)
~ Do you understand that i was worried for four days? I heard a rumour that you were looking for cocaine. you told me you quit. And suddenly you're buying some? i finally relaxed when samantha told me you bought some for other people.
"well it was a little for me. Only a bit though, I'm not addicted again, dont worry"
~" i CANT not worry, I cant not care. Never, Ever forget how much I care about you."
"Same to you"
~" My god your beauiftul."
".... thank you"
~"Dont do this to me, dont look me in the eye and act like I'm important to you."
"You are"
~ "I know im not. I know what you're doing, I know everytime I see you in the halls, you do see me, and then turn away so we wont have to lock eyes. ha, see, you're smiling, i told you i knew. How can my words move you so much now, but really mean nothing to you?"
"They dont mean nothing to me"
~" yes they do. If i dont leave right now I'm going to cry. it isn't fair for you to do this to me. ...I'm gonna go put these books back. wait. I've wanted nothing more than 5 minutes of your attention. theres no way I'm turning my back on you. You leave."
"Kim, Im not going to leave, you go."
~" no, you go, it's what you;re good at."
"kim..."
~"just go okay, Im going to cry in a minute and I dont want you to see me. Never forget how much you mean to me."
" I'm going to miss my bus if you dont go"
~" I cant. really, just go."
"Okay. Do I get a hug first?"
~'' that's not fair, why do you do this to me? knowingly, you play with me"
"thats not true. Arent you going to hug me back?"
~"Don't do this"
"Next time hug me back. Bye"
~"Bye."

okay we were standing my a window and the entire student body was walking past us... and when she hugged me, my hands were full of books, and I was breathing into her neck and hair, and I was in pure heaven. You guys dont udnerstand how seductive she is... shes fucking perfect.... ARGH so wtf.... Im trying to find a pattern... I can avoid the shit by not caring if i see how she works...

"

 

For me it always seem like i meet my g/f in class. It can be so draining, i hate it after all the glitter falls and i stuck across the way from them destined to disturbed and a class that was a blessing the whole year to be with them is now the dread of the day

 

I'm not sure how using "only a bit" of cocaine works..but have you considered that this might be why she's afraid of getting too close to you? She seems worried for you anyway.

 

okay well she told me I was blaming her for my unhappiness... and I thought about it and I thought about her opinion, and life and stuff, and I may be giving her more credit than she deserves, BUT I see it kinda like this now: She has a source of affection, her FIANCEE is giving her enough sex so she doesnt need any from me. what she needs is a friend who wont end up fighting her or stealing her cell phone, someone who truly will stick by her. And I'm going to try to be that. or I WAS going to try to be that, and I told her that so she knows but I'm really gonna try to let go and move on. I just dont want to leave her like everyone always does, but if I'm not welcome, I'm not welcome.

 

I don't know why your story has hit me so much but it really has. I feel for you even though I only know you from words I have seen on computer screens.

Your friend has isues. There is no question about it. I can see that you have a kind spirit & want to share it with her. You are right that if she isn't willing to share that there isn't much you can do but be there when she is ready, if she gets ready.

 

okay I dont even want to re live that nightmare, but essentially last night she broke up with her Fiancee, then got back together with him half an hour later ( i was at work and she was coming in to see a friend of hers), and I wrote her a note saying that it was killing me to see her upset, (and when she came in i had to wipe the dried kleenex from her puffy red eyes)and I wasnt gonna give it to her, i told her she had enough to deal with outside of my feelings, but she grabbed it anyways. 20 minutes later, a pissed of dude comes to my cash register, waits til theres not so many customers, asks me if I'm kim, shouts "wtf is this shit?" and throws my note at me. "what the fuck, thats retarded, you're trying to fuck my girlfriend?!" I just stood there and calmly said "not exactly" then he walked away.
And everyone in the store was looking at me...