It’s not easy growing up in a war, go to a school - where all your learn is to hide when it’s storming outside. I saw her pain, cried for her every night. Have you ever seen yourself in third person? You didn’t always needed to be so furious, cos’ I never did you wrong. Hiding between trees, hoping the yelling’s gonna be over soon. Yes, the outside marks disappear, but the soul’s still hurt. Why do I have to carry the guilt? All you did was making me a little colder, a little stronger. For you it’s just a silly memory, but I feel it lives on. I still remember how frightened you kept me. I remember how you throw me into the stairs, I still hear the kid whispering please, don’t. So I hide in my room, dream of places far away. I know life’s a journey, I got to move on, but how can I make the ghost go? I’m standing alone, no one ever reached out their hand. Dad you said I had to do it myself. Well how was I suppose to handle the dark clouds? The shadows are still following, they wanna break me down. I got no feelings, it’s getting to cold, I got to stop hiding, But how can you fight ghosts? I just want to leave, but I’m the only one to rescue me. I’ll get them all out of my head. I’m crossing the border, gonna walk into my new life. But still I remember how you hurt me, how you made me feel so bad. What did I do to deserve all this pain? It’s not easy growing up in a war, not easy to see hell’s near. But I grew through it, they made me a faster runner, made my face harder, my heart colder. They all made me smarter. But now I’m free from the ghosts, they left my window this morning, it wasn’t a sad goodbye.
this was an inspiraring peice. sweet, sensitive. a delicate story that i was just awed by, i mean it. i sat there and and let myself connect to your perspective, and it touched me really deep. i really enjoyed it. and the ending, i loved it! im glad youve gotten thru. its a great write. thank you for sharing! how have you been> i hope all is well, if you need anyone to tlak with, email me. im here. kinda felt a common groundwith you. and your father.... im glad youre making it. and keep on! much love and good wishes hun colt
Thanks Colt..nice of you...So I think this is quite personal, maybe a bit to much but I had to write this, kind of just had to tell someone somehow how my childhood lives in my memory and how it was...I'm hoping I'm gonna find some joy in it to, cos' there got to be some, don't it?
Well done, Cassi! We grow because we have to become bigger than all the things we face. You're one helluva tigress here. Keep it up!
