i split with my first long term girlfriend of two years last christmas and since then have had threats from people all over town as she has been running around trying to get me beaten up. while i going through this one of my close friends, Dan, was there for me as a shoulder to cry on and someone to help me get back on my feet. last saturday my housemate rang me and told me they were all over each other in a club. so i rang my friend dan only have my ex girlfriend pick up the phone and tell me that "it been going on for weeks and that its none of my fucking business" is it just me or is that wrong? i feel betrayed thanks for reading, just needed to vent
that is wrong. Especially is he didn't talk to you first about it. He should have asked if you still cared about her and if it would be weird if he went out with her. That's what a good friend would do. She sounds like an attention seeking whore who needs other people to fight the battles she's too cowardly to fight. Move on and get some new friends. Maybe go to a different bar or club and meet some new people. Kynd people. Drama freaks like that are only a waste of time. You can fight back and forth until the end of time and they still won't just drop it. Be the bigger person and move on. Maybe make a phone call to your friend and tell him how hurt you are, but you wish him hte best. It's too bad he chose her over you, but that's just what he'll have to live with. Tell him you hope he's happy with the decision. Even if you don't mean those things, if you do that, not only will you show maturity over your ex, lay a heavy guilt trip on your friend, but be able to fully move on because you know she'll break his heart and there will be no one there to lean on and you will have already made new friends. This, in my opinion is a very awful betrayal. I don't think that exes shouldn't be able to date friends of the the person they were with, but it needs to be talked about before and treated gently. It's a touchy subject. Bottom line- he should have talked to you first, and by not doing so he chose her over your friendship. Try to move on and meet people who aren't such drama queens
what makes this so bad is that your friend is not only with your ex, but with an ex who is still being vicious towards you. first of all, was dan still being supportive when he was, uh, conoodling with your ex? or did his support wane once they got together? if he just had to be with your ex, it seems the more noble thing to do would be to step back from your friendship. do you and your ex still share the same group of friends? or i guess more specifically, did she have a stronger frienship with dan than you did? also, why is she still actively trying to get you beaten up, and why is she being so vicious still? did you do something to her that would make her want to get back at you? or is she just insane? because it sounds like she's just doing this to hurt you, and to add pain to all the threats she's put out... so i just wonder why she is so passionately angry still. pain can last a long time, don't get me wrong, especially after a two year relationship... but to be actively malicious for a continuous three months sounds a bit unhealthy and excessive. if she is just doing this to hurt you, at least you have the slight consolation of knowing it won't last long. i hope you start to feel better soon. if i were you, i would talk to dan and see what he has to say about it. depending on his side of the story, you might want to cut off your friendship. i agree with headymoe that you might want to meet some new people, and find some better friends.
one of my freinds is going through a similar situation and it's hard. It's hard for him to move on and hang out with new or old friends, but he's doing ok. Eventually she'll get bored and stop as long as you don't let her know it bothers you. But as far as meeting people, that might be the hardest part! good luck with everything!
awww thank you for your support. i didnt think anyone would care i decided to back on both of them. im hoping to go to university in sept, so i can start a new life there and make new friends and maybe find love.
It's always really fun to start over. Think about the kind of person you really want to be. All the good things that are inside you. Before you go, practice being that new confidant person everyday and then go to school and blow people away!! I've started over like, 3 or 4 times now and i'm only 19!! I love it everytime and each time i do it I find more great things about myself. Good luck and if you ever feel down or need a friend, we're all here to get you through it! Peace dude!!
