misunderstanding concerning words.

well,when i ve been to amsterdam with my girlfriend - people there speaking english like in native - there was a certain linguistic qualitity she possessed ,which made me always like falling into bitter laughter because it was so wrong, but so droll.
so she always tended to say "what ?" in case of not having understood what people asked her (<---rather : (i beg your) pardon? *g*).
and she also used a this specific gesture when aying this word,it was just funny,the funniest of funny.

so,do you also know words being used in a completely wrong contest or words having a misleading significance?????

 

Haha - I know about this "what?". It feels so wrong to say, but when you don't have time to find the right words, like "I beg your pardon", the result will often be short words like "what?".

When I do a favor to people who don't speak danish, they usually say: "Thanks" or "Thank you".
I should say: "You're welcome" or "no problem" in return, but instead I often answer: "it's okay", because I get confused and unable to answer different in the quick moment. It sounds extremely terrible, and I hate myself for saying such things!

 

It´s also very embarrassing to confuse "awesome" and "awful". Fortunately it didn´t happen to me...so far.

 

Nothing really wrong with 'what?', it's just short for 'what did you say?', just like 'sorry?' or ''scuse me?' or just 'uh?' Dutch people often say 'wat?' literally, but I've also heard people in the US use it. More often than the entire 'I beg your pardon?', in fact -I've only heard that one in quite formal situations.

 

Haha, I do that too.

Also, sometimes I feel like I'm being extremely inpolite and come off as being rude and unfriendly.. British people are generally super polite and they say "thank you" and "please" and whatever all the time, but it just doesn't come that naturally from me (me being a rude and reserved Finn ). I'm getting better at it, but I still forget to say "please" and stuff from time to time. I know I will never ever learn how to say "excuse me please" though!

 

Yeah, I understand you. I'm not known to be an especially polite person either.
I'm never impolite to people who occur real to me, no matter what them beliefs might be. I'm often impolite when I'm, getting confused.
-feels quite unnatural to speak about the weather to me in my daily social life; better say nothing if I haven't got anything better to talk about...
...then it's up to the folks to decide whether my rubbish is "better" or "worse", but they'll have it, no matter what, if they choose to read my posts.

love and understanding,

) / ) (""") ) * ("" @@ ’_) ("") ("”") (’’)
\/_( *)_( (_ */"" @@ (_) (_(* )_( .. )<,

 

Haha, I'm so bad at small talk, like you said it just feels so unnatural. You really only start talking about weather when you have nothing else left to say, and when you have nothing else left to say it would be so much better to just shut up.

 

just yell 'what' is rude in dutch too, but usually when we ask what someone said we say 'wat zei je', which means 'what did you say'. its not considered unfriendly or whatever, so were just used to doing that i guess.

 

I have this problem sometimes when speaking Swedish at work. In English, "no problem" is a perfect expression for me to use, but the only expression like this in Swedish is "varsågod", which is equal to "you're welcome". This is an ok term if you give something to someone, but I don't like to use it when I do something for someone at work because that's what I get paid for doing in the first place. By saying "you're welcome", I feel like I'm taking credit for performing a favour when in fact all I'm doing is doing my job, so I usually say "det är lugnt", ie "it's okay" or "it's cool", which I know sounds horrible. It's a stupid thing to get hung up on, but I guess it has to do with my insecurity. Some people never say thank you in the first place, and then it's easier.

My mother has a different problem (about English now). Whenever me and my girlfriend go to my parents' house for dinner or something, my girlfriend says thank you, and my mother answers the same thing back. "Thank you". I've told her many times to say you're welcome, but she keeps saying thank you every time, as if she has the same issues with this expression as I do. Maybe we're just a weird family.

 

May I ask what's your job? Aren't you studying anylonger?

My moms husbands sons girlfriend is american, and my moms reply to her "thank you"'s is usually: "y..e.s..tihihihi", and that's about her answer to anything spoken to her in english. (sorry mom!). But my mom is a very warm person (that was sweet. therefore: foregive me, mom)

 

By experience, I know, that I better don't try to "talk about the weather". I once tried to, when I felt I had nothing else in common with a person standing in front of me. But it just gets worse - realism (or karma if you prefer that term) strikes back. If realism wants me and the other person to have nothing in common, I can't fake it - you can't cheat realism with small talk. It just getting worse and more embarrasing for both parts. In such situations it's better to save pride of yourself and your counterpart, simply by avoiding eachother. Some people fit together - some don't.
...but I think anybody fits with somebody.

love and understanding,
wolf.

p.s. I still remember a party, when I was the counterpart. Someone asked me, what I thought about some soccer team. I said that I didn't know much about soccer. Then he said: "okay... I don't know how to talk to you then". That was a good and honest reply. I should have thanked him for his reply at the moment, instead of taking offence.

 

I really enjoyed reading Kozmic Blue and Wolfs' problems with English "small talk, " and weather conversations ....if you're not English it doesn't matter if you don't say "sorry," every five minutes or comment on the state of the weather, the rest of the population will forgive you for it

The problem I have is that I am English and have no small talk what so ever:& and my husband has even less ( probably the reason we were attracted to each other )

 

No I'm still studying, but I have a job that I return to every summer and over the Christmas holidays. I usually drive a truck/lift kind of thingy and refill the shelves in a warehouse so that the others that pick stuff to send to the shops, although recently I've worked mainly at the cargo bay, receiving stuff that comes in by lorry from our distributors. It's not a great job, not exactly what I plan to do when I get my degree, but it pays really well for this kind of job and it's convenient not having to actively look for a temporary job every summer. I'm hoping to finish my masters by next summer, and then we'll see what happens.

peace,
-Pat

 

This is shameful to admit, but I sometimes (quite often actually - but not so much since my move to a different part of town last summer) avoid people I used to go to school with, or former colleagues, simply because I don't know how to treat them. Should I say hi and keep walking, or does a hi mean that I have to stop and talk to them? It's great when you see somebody when getting on the train, because then all you have to do is nod your head in a recognising manner and all is fine. But god forbid that he or she gets on the same train - then you're stuck! I mean, sometimes I see people from work, which means one of 150 people I see every day during the periods I'm working but never talk to (in a big place like that you have to pick your little group to hang out with), and I hardly know if they know my name. It's much worse to meet people from 'pre-high-school' though, because with them I feel obliged to talk, even though I have nothing to say to them. I'm nothing now like I used to be when they knew me, and to explain everything and answer questions about how I changed my look on life and everything is just too annoying and stressful. Whenever I'm able to, I pretend I don't see them, just to avoid the anxiety of cold talk. Do any of you have problems with kind of stuff? Or am I the only Gollum here?

peace,
-Pat

 

I think it is easy to mix appealing and appalling, but I don't think I've done that so far...

 

Haha, I don't hope you look at yourself as some Gollum because of that.
I know a guy who believe in impoliteness as a call. His argument is that polite people prevent themselves and the others to reach a true social way of living, because politeness camouflage human authenticity - better be a true asshole than a fake angel.
I don't agree with him. Basically, I think politeness is a good thing - politeness is the glue that makes it possible for people who don't know eachother, to thrive together. It's important to be polite to the busdriver, to the lady behind the counter, to friends friends in a bar, etc. Without some basic manners, we would all beat eachothers with clubs all night long (and some people do).
But politeness becomes a disease and a sick excuse, when it covers a friendship or a close social relation that don't really exist anyway. Politeness just cause agony, when it just turn into a shield to protect you from admitting that you haven't really got anything in common with the other.

I've been working as a 'coolie' for seven years at a post-terminal. In a couple of years I worked their all weekdays, but when I started my studies, I was only throwing packets two days a week. After seven life-draining years, finally I had a chance to quit half a year ago. Some german concern has bought the former national owed postal service, and all the section in which I was working, was shutted down. I was offered another job within, but I thanked no. I had less than one year left studying at that time, and since I've saved some money while working, I can survive the rest of the time and get deep with my studies all week long instead. But most people work beside their studies here in dk - that's a necessarity to survive as a student, unless your parents stink like a million.
Many people in the age about 40, who works at factories are well educated. Many students who have never worked, don't know this, but many young academics of the 80's couldn't get a job. Unemployment was extreme, so many of them took job at factories, and as employment was getting better thru last half of the 90's, they couldn't get another job, because they aged and had been on their factories for too many years.
That's one thing I miss: to see new student workers at the post terminal getting surprised, when some old postal worker reply their philosophic talk with heavy arguments.

love,
noose.

 

i tend to avoid people i know but don't want to talk to. i just stare into the ground and pretend i don't see them. the worst thing is when they see me and start to talk. i have this fear of embarassing silence so when i have nothing to say i talk about weird not to interesting stuff. i hate polite small talk about what i have been up to.

 

Yeah, many of my fellow students work during the semesters as well. You're lucky you've been able to save up a bit. Me and my girlfriend both work during the summers and winter holidays (same company), so we have enough for additional or unexpected costs during the school year. I also usually get some pocket money from STIM (similar to what I believe is called Koda in Denmark - or ASCAP in the US) every year from old music projects. Otherwise I take a partial student loan to pay the rent.

I don't think we have such a large amount of people like you describe in Sweden, but instead we have a large group of well-educated immigrants who are forced to take that kind of jobs because of the bureacracy in evaluating foreign education (in addition to discrimination). Sweden has without a doubt the highest amount of pizza bakers with university degrees in the world, which is really sad.

peace,
-Pat

 

I hate it too when you just have to say something not to be rude, and you get into these braindead conversations. Ironically, though, I ran into a couple of exchange students from my course today (whom I've never spoken to in a non-seminar context before) and we actually had a really good conversation and I found out they're really nice people. Just too bad that the course is over now and they're going back to South Africa. Sucks.

peace,
-Pat

 

haha i have the absolute same problem! even if i just go out to town i´m always hoping not to see anybody i know (well except from my friends) cause i dont know what to talk about. its embarresing.......