A Real Tough Decision..What Would You Do??

I'm sorry you went through what you did, and you are a brave person especially at that young of an age. But, to call others who said they would abort weak-minded isn't fair. It is not like an unplanned pregnancy between two consenting people. It's more like being raped. It's not the woman's fault she got pregnant, and she should not be condemned for choosing to terminate the pregnancy.

I would think that in today's world, the morning after pill would be more than readily available to victims of rape. As long as the woman goes to the doctor immediately.

 

I went to school with a kid who was the result of a rape and he seemed to deal with it very well, but his mother kinda let it influence how she viewed him, I think it was a huge reminder of the whole thing. I think you just need to think about how you would be able to live with that child and if you would be able to look at it and not have it bring back the whole thing.

I hope that you were not raped!

Jah Bless

 

Here the morning after pill is standard issue after a rape, so unless you don't report it or object to the morning after pill, you will not get pregnant (I haven't heard of any cases where the morning after pill, taken correctly, hasn't worked -it's pretty high dosage and all). And while I know there are many reasons, from fear, shame, ignorance, why people won't report it (or will wait reporting it), I can't see myself in that situation. I was raped once and it never occured to me to *not* report it immediately. Nor do I have anything against the morning after pill. I just don't see it happen to me.

On abortions in general I really am not sure, I'm 100% pro choice, it should be the mother's choice 'cause it's her who's carrying the child, but I don't know for sure whether I'd abort. I know I wouldn't raise a kid, I don't want anything to do with babies, but I would at least consider adoption. It's not just the rapist's genes, there's mine too. Even though I don't ever want a family of my own, I think it'd be kinda cool to know somewhere, somehow, there's a bit of me running around... Maybe it's the old survival instinct trying to keep the genes alive, I'm one of the last of an old but small family and however much I don't want children & I believe we've already got plenty of a problem with overpopulation, there's also a bit of regret that my own family will be dying out.

 

at 14, I was so scared, I didn't think about things like the morning after pill, or STD's or anything. Imagine if I had contracted HIV or something. *shudders* I've done speeches at schools to tell people about how important it is to get help and tell someone right away. I know how hard that can be, you feel dirty, and used and you don't want anyone to know-ever. I do my best to pass along the lessons I have learned.

I'm sorry if I offend anyone with my comment about being weak minded when choosing abortion. In this particular siuation if you knew that you could carry the baby to term and give it loving parents, why choose the aternative? Why is it so bad? Sure you suffer through pregnancy, but you are saving the life of a child and making two people incredibly happy. I don't mean to sound offensive, I just think women who have an abortion and don't consider other options do it out of fear. Not because it's responsible, but because they are afraid. And why not? I was completely shunned for becoming pregnant. Society places so much stress on women and it's not fair. Again, I apologize if I hurt any feelings, but I feel that in ALMOST every situation, that life can be saved and more lives can be made richer.

 

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This is purely unrelated to the topic. Your sig pic is mean and strangely amusing.

 

terminate the pregnancy

 

I had a friend who was a product of rape and his mother chose to tell him. Her husband is white and she was raped by an illegal alien from mexico so she kind of had to tell him. He's really fucked up in the head about it and ended up going into a deep depression and divorced his wife remarried a high school friend of mine and then divorced her, lost his company. He's a single parent both of his kids live with him and he has a huge coke problem so cps has been called out a few times. I would say terminate the pregnancy for the child and the mothers sake.

 

give it up for adoption

 

I really don't know what I would do, but I know I wouldn't kill the baby. I think with any pregnancy, you take a risk.

 

It would be to hard to raise it...it would be an in the face reminder...but I couldn't kill it just because of the rape, the child didn't ask to be created under those circumstances...I would give it up for adoption for sure.

 

It would depend if I wanted a baby or not

 

I don't know. I think I'd have to be in that situation before I really know what I'd do.

 

I wouldn't abort it myself. To me it's not the baby's fault. I don't know if I would raise it myself or give it up for adoption. I think it's something I couldn't decided without it happening to me. Which I don't plan on it happening. Also another thing that would decide if I kept it or not is if I can afford a child. But I would be that way with any baby I have. I would want my child to have the best life they could have, even if it means giving them up to have a better life. This is a hard one.

 

i wouldnt keep an unwanted child. how could i ever be able to forget about been raped and all the trauma if i have a constant reminder...if i'm been givn a choice i would go for a termination. I couldnt raise a child of someone who's hurt me that way. though i highly respect women how have coped with that kind of situation and have decided to keep the child. I just couldnt do it.

 

I don't think I would have the guts to hold a baby to term that was the result of a rape. I would get morning after pill wayyy soon.

 

I've been raped and just by the rage I feel towards him and his ENTIRE family (his father is a pretty horrible person too), there's no way if he hadn't used a condom and I had become pregnant that I would have been able to carry the child. For one, I'd be afraid of bringing another rapist into the world. No matter how great a parent you are, your child can always end up screwed up and with genetics like that, I wouldn't dare take the chance. Also, by the time I gave birth to the child, I would probably grow too attached to it to give it up for adoption. I don't know if I could go through with an abortion though either. As sad as this sounds, I would probably just hope for a miscarriage. There's no easy way out of the situation but I know that as a 17 year old, there's no way I could raise a child.

It's a hard situation and unless you've been there, you have no idea how scary it is to wait weeks after a rape just hoping the condom didn't break or somehow you got pregnant. I didn't have the option of getting birth control pills because I'm rarely allowed to use the car and even so, the pharmacy won't give them out here and my doctor is too far away to get to, as is Planned Parenthood. If I had told my parents, they would have blamed me. The morning after pills really need to be more accessable for situations like that.

 

If a child was brought into the world in by product of rape and is given to a loving home, they are not going to have this urge to rape women. Behaviors like that are learned. They talk about how the family affects the child when the child has been with the family who taught them how to abuse, rape, ect. Not children who go to a loving home and still run around raping women because it's "in their blood".

 

HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS

I am so sorry you had to live through that. I personly haven't been raped (molested though...) I know people who have gone through that.. I know girl who was repeatedly ganged raped by a group of teenagers down the street and her parents didn't believe... (though they dont do it anymore when she got a hold of the leader duct taped him and nearly cut his dick off with a butter knife....)It's so horrible that you're in that situation. If you ever need anyone to talk to you can email me or even call (please email for the # thou b/c i dont like givng out the kinda info on public forum no offense gals!) ecalvert0002@gcc.vccs.edu

You sound you like you live in an isolated area and the man who did it was someone you know, a friend of the family maybe. If you ever need a place to stay... My fiance and I are open for that ... my parents too (they call their house "The Calvert Home for Wayward Children ) The only bad thing is we're in VA you're in GA... I have a friend that's graduating here and he's gonna be a cop in back in his home state of GA so you could go to stay with him too... He's psych major, and his ex fiance (she cheated on him numerous times and then dumped him) had been raped so he knows a little how to help. His name is DJ (rangerdj@hotmail.com ... I think ) So if you need a place to stay I can help hook you up so you don't hafta go to a shelter or something. I hope you have courage to reeport the bastard and don't let him guilt you were not asking for it ... You're lucky you;re not in VA.. my fiance is protective of all women... he once turned a guy into a quadraplegic who was trying to rape a woman at his apratment complex. If he ever got a hold of your rapest... well needless to say he'd be casterated!
EC

 

Ah, it just breaks my heart to keep hearing these stories. (((hugs)))

I at least understand about the morning after pill. Once with an ex, the condom broke, and I was only 17 and nowhere even near as mature as I am now. We went on a search for the pill, but no one would give it to us. They just kept saying, "sorry, that's not available in the US", which we both knew was BULLSHIT because we both knew people who'd gotten it before. I was from a sort of smallish town too. I'm so sorry you had to go through that and then WAIT to see instead of at least having that pill. (((more hugs))).

It's such a freakin shame...grr...when anyone gets raped...but to make it that much harder....gah....sometimes I just hate people.

My husband is the same way. About rapists and other abusers. We couldn't go into Best Buy for the longest time without him checking out all the name tags of the workers. He knew the guy's name, who raped his friend, but not what he looked like. And said a few times "God help the guy who has the right name on that tag" Probably a good thing he never found him....could have ruined his military career, which at the time was just starting. And once when he witnessed a guy hit his girlfriend, hubby promptly beat the living shit out of him right then and there. Normally he lets things slide that piss him off. But those things, of course, just cross that line for him.

 

Terminate the pregnancy as soon as possible