My Friend Died

Discussion in 'Random Thoughts' started by Dustystar, Mar 23, 2005.

  1. Dustystar

    Dustystar Member

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    My friend died a 4 weeks ago 2day & I'm just not dealing with it very well! Advice anyone?
     
  2. headymoechick

    headymoechick I have no idea

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    oh, honey. I'm not sure what to tell you. I've lost 2 friends to heroin and my best friend to a car crash one year ago March 11th. I did not do very well that day myself.

    All I can say is that they probably wouldn't have wanted you to wallow in pain and misery. Go on and live life to the very fullest for them.
     
  3. headymoechick

    headymoechick I have no idea

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    I wasn't very clear. My best friend died March 11th of last year and I lost 2 other friends last year. One in May, the other in August
     
  4. Bellfire01

    Bellfire01 I'll say anything

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    _____________
    It might help to talk about it. First of all, how did he/she die? Secondly, how long did you know the person. Lastly, what have you been doing with yourself since your friend died?
     
  5. daisymae

    daisymae Senior Member

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    You should go talk to some real people. There is grief counselling out there, parents or other friends. It's going to hurt for awhile. Just give yourself time, there is no cure what you're feeling, but it's normal you'll be ok. :)
     
  6. Bellfire01

    Bellfire01 I'll say anything

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    _________
    Thanks alot, by the way I'm a real person.
     
  7. sm0key42o8

    sm0key42o8 Senior Member

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    I dont think there is really anything anyone can say to help out. Just know that it does get easier with time and that you are in all our prayers. And know that everyone deals with death in different ways, so my advice would to deal with it in your own way and remeber you will always have all us hipforumsters to help ya out!

    Jah Bless
     
  8. daisymae

    daisymae Senior Member

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    I happen to know, there's no such thing as a Bellfire. ;) And you're welcome...:D
     
  9. Super_Grrl

    Super_Grrl Crazy love

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    I'm sorry to hear about your friend :( There are lots of ways to deal with grief; the key is to find the one that works for you. Art, poetry, music...journalling, sports, cooking... all these things (and way way more) can be positive outlets for emotions. But don't be afraid to feel whatever you're feeling, either. Crying is good for you too. But I think personally the most important thing is not to just pull away from everyone and hide, you know? Keep yourself surrounded by people who love you and who will support what you're going through.
     
  10. sm0key42o8

    sm0key42o8 Senior Member

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    Alot of people will tell you that your friend wouldnt want you to cry for them, I mean I wouldnt want people to cry when I die or even have a funeral. I want em to throw a huge 3-day festival and just have a blast*NO CRYING ALLOWED*. But cryin is one of the best was to grieve for em. I hope it all works out for you.
     
  11. Dustystar

    Dustystar Member

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    Thanks for the support u guys. Some days everything seems fine, and others I don't want to even get out of bed. My friends death is kind of a mystery, his step father found him in his room dead one morning. The test results on what he died from take a long while i guess. He either died b/c of an accidental overdose of pills, he killed himself, or b/c he'd actually been sick for a month be4 he died (he said it was mono, but maybe it wasn't)so maybe it was from that. Its really hard not knowing exactly what happened yet.
     
  12. headymoechick

    headymoechick I have no idea

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    I'm so sorry. It must be awful not knowing. Either way, please try and find some peace in your heart until you know. Once you do, you can truly start greiving and time will heal your wounds.

    much love your way.
     
  13. jerry420

    jerry420 Doctor of everything Lifetime Supporter

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    i lost a good friend in a car wreck 3 years ago and im still not completely ove it...i had no closure, you know?
     
  14. Children of Bodom

    Children of Bodom Senior Member

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    I lost a friend a while back and its really hard to recover from. Just stick to your guns and it should all work out in the end.
     
  15. Dustystar

    Dustystar Member

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    Thanks guys so much! It makes my heart ache for all u guys that u all have been through this once or multiple times be4.
    I look around at all his friends sometimes and I think y are they handeling this and I'm not. But then I realize like myself on the outside everything looks fine but the inside is a mess. I feel bad bringing the topic up to ppl. anymore as well b/c i don't want to bring back the sadness for any1...but then selfishly I do want to talk about it @ times.
     
  16. headymoechick

    headymoechick I have no idea

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    talk about it all you want. That is one of the many reasons this site was created.

    But don't drown your feelings with alcohol or drugs. I'm not lying when I say time is the best medicine. I still cry a lot. and that's ok. It's ok to be sad about it. It's not ok to ignore the problem and start a substance abuse problem. I do a lot of drugs, but never once did I take any to "make myself feel better about my friend's death"

    I bet everyone has shed a tear for him, even if they don't show it to people on the outside. At my friend's wake, his mother was laughing and talking and I was bawling my eyes out. I can't imagine how she felt, but she didn't show that she was sad. Some people deal with things differently I guess.
     
  17. BrownTripleQQ

    BrownTripleQQ Member

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    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. May God be with you! Last July, I lost 5 relatives in one month. It was the hardest grief to get over. I lost about 50 pounds, from not eating or drinking. I totally let myself go. I looked a hot mess. The only thing that helped me get over my losses, was journaling, talking about the good times shared with my losses, hearing encouragement and eating.


    Things will get better, just remember that no one can ever take away your memories of that person. The memories will stay with you forever!!!
     
  18. logicalway

    logicalway Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

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    Grab a pencil & paper and put some thoughts down. It always seemed to help when folks I knew checked out earlier then they should have. I was able to put my thoughts down, talk to them in a way...and it made me feel better...thats it.
     
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