When did your "desires" begin to shift more towards males?

Right on!

Could NOT agree more, my friend......well said!

 

Why is everyone posting in BOLT ITALICS AND A SUPER LARGE FONT?????

 

Because some here have difficulties reading smaller type, and larger fonts makes it easier for them to read..........

 

....interesting, also, to think of those men who denied their attraction towards other men until well into their senior years.

What was it that FINALLY caused the need to fullfill these long-denied (or previously unknown) desires to the surface?

What was the "trigger"?

Perhaps being in a marriage where sex was no longer part of the picture?

I am sure there are countless stories, to be sure........

 

Perhaps millions of stories but you asked the #1 question: What finally caused the need to fulfill...? With older men, we can easily point to menopause killing a wife's libido and leaving him celibate and while I've believed that there are other triggers, i.e., emotional distress, I've talked to a lot of men who have been hit with this without any triggering and while having a damned good sex life with their wives and... where did this come from... and why is it both exciting and disturbing?

Researchers had proudly announced that they had found a "gay gene" in our DNA but then, some months later, recanted their discovery and I've long since felt that science - and even as amazing as it is today - cannot explain sexuality. What makes a homosexual what he or she is? A lot of things. Same with bisexuals but social norms and morality are responsible for someone being heterosexual while shunning anyone who isn't. Which, of course, makes this situation even more interesting when "Clyde," a heterosexual man who is in his mid-forties winds up having oral sex with a man and not only can he not explain why he wanted - felt compelled - to do this, but now he wants to keep doing it while his brain keeps insisting that he's not gay.

Or "Ernest," who has been married to "Betty" for 52 years, raised a flock of children who gave them a slew of grand- and great-grandchildren has seen their moments of intimacy vanish into nothingness due to the effects of menopause on Betty - and she's one of those women who cannot take hormone replacement as it could prove to be fatal. But Ernest's libido is alive and well and he's always been faithful to his wife and somehow he gets it into his head that having oral sex - and maybe more - with another guy - and one who is in the same menopausal boat as he is - is the thing that he must now do beside increasing the moments that he masturbates (and if he's been doing that at all since being married).

Where did this "suggestion" come from? Why does Ernest (a) be surprised that he's thinking like this, (b) the thought of doing this with a guy is giving him raging erections, but (c) he doesn't want to cheat on his wife - and a wife who may or may not understand the position her loving husband now finds himself in.

I've been asked. I don't know the answer. I don't if there is an answer but, as previously mentioned, I've chalked it up to a genetic memory, very likely something in that so-call "junk DNA" we all have that geneticists have no idea what it does, let alone why it's there. If Ernest were to ask me about this weird shit going on in his head, I'd tell him that, yeah, it happens to some guys and, no, I don't know why it does but don't worry about it - it appears to be kinda/sorta normal. What to do about it? Well, um, you could try to find a guy to have oral sex with but that calls for you cheating on Betty and if you're 100% dead set against this, then, realistically, there's not much you can do unless your wife gives you permission to have sex with other people and you've told her about the oral sex with another guy thing that has been occupying your thoughts.

Don't ask me what I would do because, um, shit, I've been having sex with guys before I grew hair under my arms so it's nothing new to me, I'm used to it, I don't pay attention to the dumb shit going around nor do I care what other people might think or say. This is not an easy position for a man like Ernest to be in and it's only slightly better with single men who are, let's say, having a problem being heterosexual. Logic suggests that there must be something to this because the word on the grapevines is that a lot of men who aren't gay are having sex with each other and despite religion and social morality insisting that it's a sin and just plain evil.

I'm sure there are plenty more men out there who have a story about how they got to thinking about sex with men and the things they're doing to make it happen. Or they've made it happen and more stories get generated. Married men are caught between a rock and seriously hard place and there are stories about what these poor guys are thinking and doing and if anything at all.

 

KD23:

Your excellent and truly "in depth" response indeed is in your "top ten", for sure; it's obvious that you have not only had much experience within this realm throughout your life(!!), but, also, are very well gifted academiclly and that, also, has put you in a class of being not only "street smart", but "book smart" as well, and you put BOTH to very good advantage!

So far as senior men discovering the long ignored/denied pleasures of M2M relationships, I guess the old standard indeed holds true:

".......better late than never......"

 

I've heard that a lot of older guys do say that it's better late than never (or not at all). My favorites when guys of all ages ask what took them so long to do this or what were they afraid of. It's often the look on their face when they realize that it wasn't as bad as they were told it was; their release was incredibly powerful and unlike anything they'd felt before. That "This is what I've missing..." look they get.

 

KD23:

I am sure that a lot of those older fellows, after their first experience with another male, are like:

"......man, where has THIS action been, all my life?"

Again, you wonder about older men who had been long curious about have sex with another man, and those (who've we've discussed) who, more or less, decided to "take the plunge", simply out of sexual frustration, when the wife is no longer interested in relations......

 

Don't forget that older single men cannot be excluded when it comes to this shift in desire. The men who never married; widowers who lost their wife to death and are without companionship. Or the men who are recently divorced, the guys who got dumped by their girlfriend or their LTR just came to an end and now he's at odds over how he's going to have sex... and who he can have it with. We can't just focus on married men because it does a great disservice to men in any situation who, one day, wakes up with the thought and feeling that today would be a great day to suck a dick.

 

KD23:

Good points, all!

".....a dick a day keeps the doctor away......."(!!)

....that is, unless "Doc" wants to demonstrate the use of his own organic "tongue depressor", OR, perhaps give you a prostate exam like one you've never experienced before........(!!)

 

"......don't forget that older single men cannot be excluded when it comes to the shift in desire......"

KD23:

Previously, I never thought of viewing this situation in this respect; again, a VERY important point to point out.........

 

Millions of individual pictures that require attention, but we should never lose sight of the big picture that is male sexuality.

 

Well said, my friend, and I could not agree more.

IMHO, I think, in the grand scheme of things, we often tend to forget what is both so very basic to our being, as well as well as so very vital..............

 

Any male can, one day, feel this. Some feel it right away; some get introduced to it and find it to their liking; some try it then give it up for pussy - and like we're supposed to; some never go anywhere near this but, yeah, one day and for some reason. We can't lose sight of this being an issue that could affect any male, any age; this doesn't care about race, age, politics, religion or any other demographics - if it's "your turn," you're gonna feel it and whether you want to or not.

 

KD23:

For as many males who are long-participating bisexuals, there are just as many stories to be told, stories from"newcomers", tales of self-denial, inner turmoil, acceptance, and, finally, highly erotic pleasurable journeys of exploration and and a feeling of total "completeness".........

 

The best thing to hear once a guy takes the plunge is, "Now I feel whole..."

 

....."no HOLES barred....."(!!)

"....now I feel whole".....

Works for me!

 

An old expression:

".....we fear what we do not understand......"

By this I mean, if more men with bi tendencies weren't so terrified of being labeled as "queer", they just might have "explored" their (hidden) inner desires much earlier..........

 

I'd say that would be true. What some of us understand is that "queer" was to be feared; the worst thing a guy could be was a queer - and then read that as flamboyantly effeminate gay man who sucked cock and got fucked in the ass like a little bitch. A few guys I grew up with admitted that if they weren't afraid of becoming a queer, they would have joined the rest of us but the fear was too great for them to overcome. Grown-assed men being afraid of sucking cock with someone who'd love to do this with them because some of them believed that if they sucked cock, it would turn them into a queer, flaming fag.

Their intelligence, mysteriously, fails them because they've looked at me and have said, "But, but, you don't look like the type!" and I while I do know what the type looks like, nah, I sure as fuck don't look like the type but, ahem, if you're interested, I wouldn't object to giving you a blowjob...

I've blown them - or they did me - and I've asked them, "Do you feel gay?" Only then does their intelligence seem to return as they realize that, nope, nothing about them has changed other than having oral sex with a guy for the first - and maybe not the last - time.

"I wonder why I waited so long to do this..." I've had them ask - me or themselves.

 

KD23:

Your astute comments further drive home the fact that many "straight" males would have happily "done it" with other males with little or no hesitation if they were not only being afraid of being labled "queer", but also, becoming one.

Society's bigoted, narrow-minded, stereotyped views on ANY sort of M2M sex. sadly, never seems takes a holiday..............