Scenario: Loving relationship, just no more sex.

I’ve been into m/m sex since I was maybe 19 or 20. I never really know exactly when because it was kind of a process getting there. 45 now and married. My wife never had much of a sex drive but she was always able to fire it up when it suited her needs. Now she doesn’t need it anymore and it’s been non existent for 7 or 8 years. We get along great. Raise our kids together. Hell we even take trips just the two of us. I love her. She’s a good person and occasionally feels bad she hates sex. I hate reading and interacting in stuff like this because it’s a constant reminder I’ll likely die with last having sex in my 30s. No fantasies fulfilled. Just one last pitiful time when she agreed. Is it worth getting divorced so I can have sex with a woman in lingerie (yeah that’s my fantasy she would never do)? Who knows.
I have my “sex” time alone which I’m thankful for. I spend my time about 65% straight and 35% bi or gay. She got pissed at me once when I admitted I watched porn so now I just say nah I don’t. I mean what else does she want to take away from me sexually!

 

Same boat, mate. Me and my next-door neighbor buddy Got into Frequent mutual bjs A little younger than you did. It was fun, and a much needed diversion for a couple of horny teens. it went on for a couple of years until we found girls.
I met my current conservative, divorced mother of two when we were both around 40. That woman was always horny…. ALWAYS! Our first 20 years together. It was at least once a day. And she was the only person I told about my bj buddy. at first she was shocked, but the idea grew on her. we had a lot of ADVENTUROUS sex. Pegging, anal…. My sexual soulmate. Now? NADA for the last half decade. Menopause, and her prescription drugs. I could not be with another woman, as I consider that cheating. Maybe I am just justifying my desire for another like-minded married dude in the same situation. “hey, let’s go play some golf, have a couple on the 19th hole, and go someplace private”. Mutual BJs, and hopefully he is a top! Temporarily satisfy our needs, and “ I’ll see you in a few days. Maybe some tennis”. rinse, and repeat. How do you find a like-minded bi married safe guy like that? A friendship, nothing romantic, just two like-minded sexless dudes.Who am I kidding…. It will probably be just me and my right hand or Fleshlight and dildos for the rest of my life.

 

Yeah I look at it like this….women go hang out with other women to do things the we husbands don’t want to do. Like shopping or some concerts etc. if a guy has a guy he hangs out with and they give each other a sexual release and it’s something the wife doesn’t want to do, how is that different?
Like you, I just cannot have sex with another woman. That’s definitely cheating and I still struggle with the idea of messing with another guy. It may be a grey area but I’m not sure what side I fall on.
In a few years I might actually follow through with it and look for a like minded friend.