For bi men whose wife is still "in the dark".......

Sorry to be so nosy and it’s not really my business but don’t you want to change that?
Edit: I am sure we can find you a volunteer cock sucker on this site

 

I kindly appreciate the offer, but, no thanks.

Too many "ghosters" and nutjobs out there these days, not to mention guys who can easily turn dangerous; you just DO NOT know.....IS a guy being TRUTHFUL with you, or is he holding back on some issues he does not want you to know about?

Or, does he secretly want to harm you, possibly blackmail......no, I cannot be TOO cautious.

Of course, you cannot know for sure these days.

As I was seriously bashed in 1986, by a "friend" and co-worker simply for ADMITTING I was gay (trust me, I had NO desire to sleep with this guy) I have NO intentions of risking that again.

Also, I will admit right up front that, as TOUGH as I am, and as many battles I have fought on my own, I am FAR too emotionally vunerable.....I have no intentions of "rocking the boat", believe me.

But, hey, I SURVIVE, and I am TOTALLY safe from fakes, phonies, stalkers, baiters, and STDs.

For me, the pros MORE than outweigh the cons in this situation; I've come to terms with all of this long, long ago.

Again, though, I DO appreciate your want to "help"!

 

Further:

Being totally celibate and in TOTAL CONTROL of my life, and NOT risking trying to find the loyal life-partner (or, for that matter, a FWB) I had, long ago, hoped to encounter one day, I am TOTALLY independent and live my life as I wish to.

I may not have any sort of sex or social life, BUT, I DO have:

1: My SELF-RESPECT

2: My DIGNITY

3: A tremendous PEACE OF MIND.

And, as I've said before, I am at NO RISK of being hurt (either physically OR emotionally), nor do I have to worry about a potential "partner" not being honest about STDs.

Sure I know there are many gay men in loving, lasting relationships, BUT, I long ago chose the life I have lived for many years now!

I had ONE buddy from work who was as close to ne as a brother; though straight and married, he had NO ISSUES with my sexuality, and was not only my BEST friend, but also, a "BROTHER" in every sense of the word.

Sadly, he passed away due to cancer 15 years ago, only 68; NEVER another one like him, and i still mourn his passing, and remember fondly all the great fun we once had together.

Even I know that NO RELATIONSHIP can survive without MUTUAL TRUST; my ability to trust died many years ago.

Tough as I am, I've been hurt and backstabbed FAR TOO MANY TIMES in the past, and I do not want to risk going through any of that shit again.

I bother no one, and no one bothers me......another "win-win" situation.

And, as long as I can still "beat the bishop", hey, I ain't complaining!

 

If it works for you, who am I to question. Good luck in your journey.

 

Thank you, my friend; appreciate the good wishes!

 

I had read that Buddha once said:

".....roads are not for destinations; they are for journeys....."

If this is the case, it would seem that we should care less about what our ultimate "destination" may be in life, but, instead, make the most out of the journey itself down '
"The Road of Life", at a pace which we are at ease with, and making the best of whatever twists, turns, and dead-ends that "road" holds for all of us, for as long as we walk this Earth, regardless of our social standing., our sexuality, our true selves, even if others find who and what we are contrary to their own beliefs and standards...........

 

I so want to do this. I've always wanted to be in a circle jersey, especially one where we all cum on one guys Rockland he has to hold off Cummings until the last guys cum on his cock.

 

I'm going to guess that Buddha wasn't a married bisexual. It's not that this isn't "sage wisdom" - it's that it glosses over the fact that life is a motherfucker, that there are more potholes on the road of life than there is smooth and unblemished road to travel upon. That last part is unrealistic pie-in-the-sky stuff; it would be nice if this was how things were, but the reality says that it isn't like that and knowing humans, it'll never be like that. Said journeys can be so hazardous that looking ahead to the destination becomes a bit of a priority or, "Are we there yet?" Roads might be for journeys, but they all have a destination as well as a lot of stops along the way - and some of them you can't see coming.

The man in a sexless marriage and whose libido is alive and well has run into one of those stops that he's heard about that turns into a sexual dead end for him and... now what? I don't know if the Buddha ever got horny or if he ever had sex but I'm also not sure what he would have had to say about what a married man could decide to do about this situation and one that he was powerless to do anything about because for women, that's just how the journey ends on this particular road. That's not going to help a man who still needs the sex but the physical intimacy that goes along with it and from his perspective, that pothole that has appeared in the road is an unbroachable abyss and one that our morality and social norms says he cannot and should not do anything about it other than to accept its inevitability and become celibate.

Makes me wonder if the Buddha really knew anything about men. It makes me wonder if the people who come up with stuff like this has an understanding of human nature - the real stuff, not the fairy tales they'd prefer we take as the truth. If the road ahead is blocked or impassable, where's the detour? And if there isn't one, create one because being stuck there isn't likely to be a good thing. You love your wife but as a man, you have needs that shouldn't be ignored and if a certain detour is called for - and it's best that his wife doesn't know, well, it is what it is - and what's it's always been.

I wonder what the Buddha's thought would have been if there were guys sucking his cock...

 

KD23:

Maybe this article will answer some of your questions.....

Buddhism and homosexuality - Wikipedia

 

yeah, Buddha would not like bi men seeking sex for decadence. Buddha wants you to control your desires. Then again, did he ever suck a cock, inquiring minds want to know

 

I don't have any real questions. I amend this by saying that, in all honesty, I don't know how Buddhism wisdom helps the married bisexual other than to do what other religions tell us to do: Do nothing about it. Accept it. Be at peace with it. If it contributes to your demise, it sucks to be you - and welcome to the real meaning of roads and their inevitable destinations.

If she won't or can't do it, who's supposed to? No one is. That's such a fucked-up answer to what's really an important situation. Divorce her and find another woman to marry isn't an answer because it puts him right back in the same inevitable situation and divorcing her can be costly in a great many ways.

Going behind her back is morally fucked up but the reality says that something has to be done because you do not want to what "or else" could mean and if "Ralph's" solution to this existential problem is to have sex with "Gabe" - and a guy who very well could be in the same situation - well, so be it.

Her feelings will get hurt if this is discovered but who gives a fuck about his feelings? What choices did he have that had nothing to do with being forced into celibacy?

 

KD23:

I always thought it interesting as to how ancient cultures/civilizations/religions treated M2M sex.

That, in itself, could be quite "interesting", to say the least........

 

See also:

Homosexuality in ancient Rome - Wikipedia

 

Also..............

Homosexuality in ancient Greece - Wikipedia

 

I know the history. Does Wikipedia tell you how married bisexuals back in those ancient times dealt with being sexually kicked to the curb by a wife and whether or not it was natural causes? All that stuff that happened in ancient Rome is great for anyone who has never studies the sexual shenanigans back then: This is 2025 and because bisexuals have flown under the radar over a great deal of time, the plight of being married and bisexual isn't really that well known unless, of course, you happen to know a married bisexual - and there are those who still see a married bisexual man going on the DL as having been secretly gay all the while.
e
What a load of cancel culture bullshit... and before the cancel culture was even a sperm in their daddy's dicks. This is the modern-day history that we should be trying to pull together and pay attention to. We could, if we chose to, throw out the sexuality labels of gay and bi in this situation as a married man deciding to have sex with another man is a measure of last resort in a situation he can't do a fucking thing about. Modern-day history reveals that our society still insists that no man or woman engage in homosexual sex because there won't be any babies forthcoming and we still think like this thanks to something that's even older than those ancient Romans.

As in any part of our history, GG57, those of us who have failed to learn from history are forever doomed to repeat it... except "Gene" a man who despite his great love for his wife of many years has made a decision that serves to prove that some men have learned from history and they know that if they are to have sexual satisfaction and succor that they need - and the wife is out of the game - there are choices and none of them are easy to make and while history would show that a lot of men would just take up with another woman behind his wife's back until the newness of their immoral behavior wears off and Gene is right back where he started from in trying to have sex with a woman who no longer want to have sex with him.

What Gene has learned from history is that despite all the religious bullshit he's heard about - the original cancel culture - there are men who have sex with other men and not all of them are homosexuals; they may not consider themselves to be bisexuals but they know it's sex and they know that men are less funny about it than women are and Gene has found out that meeting "Harvey" and the two of them finding out that, shit, guys do suck cock better - and they swallow! - and this goes a damned long way to their mental and physical health and these two things keep him in great shape to keep being a good husband to his wife.

Unless she finds out and disagrees with his solution to the problem that her problem caused for him. This is 'history' writ large because it's been happening for as long as I've known about it and, of course, I'm not the only one who does. It is 100% totally fucked up to cheat on your wife according to our social norms. There is no reason or excuse to do this to her and sex with men has been prohibited so the thought of a married man deciding to break a couple of supposedly inviolate laws is still unheard of... except the truth says something very different, doesn't it?

A great many married bisexuals enter into infidelity with someone who is the same sex as they are because it's the lesser of two evils and that includes the evil of being forced to be celibate. This is the now that people deal with and if that ancient history of Romans and homosexuality has taught us anything, it's how inherently fucking stupid we were to let religion trump human nature and spreading its lies of immorality.

 

KD23:

Easily, one of your FINEST and most COMPREHENSIVE responses thus far; thank you for taking the time to share so much insight and unbiased views with your friends here.

Religion?

"Organized religion", if you will, has fucked up society more than many realize; in many instances, all religion does is to continue to pour gasoline upon the self-induced fires of bigotry, natred, and intolerance.

Add to that the self-manufactured narrow-mindedness of society at large, adding still more toxix volatility to the flames of ignorance and intolerance.

Is "society" that fucking STUPID, that, even today in "enlightened" 2025, it STILL cannot differentiate between TRUTH and LIES?

So much for an "intelligent" society.....................

 

If society wasn't that stupid, we wouldn't be talking about this.

 

KD23:

Man, you got THAT right..................

 

I've said it once, and I'll say it again.....religion, far too often, is but used as still another dangerous weapon by the ignorant and the holy-rollers, themselves walking monuments to bigotry and intolerance.....

Homosexuality and religion - Wikipedia

 

If you don't know that religion is at the root of its own particular evil, I'd have to wonder what rock you've been living under. Married bisexuals wouldn't have to cheat on their partners if our religion-based social norms weren't the way they are. Since it's highly unlikely that our social norms are going to be rewritten in anyone's lifetime, you either "rewrite" them for yourself or you accept being made celibate and to the detriment of your own well-being. Or you divorce your wife and deal with the aftermath of this action. In the end, it can wind up being a lose/lose situation and more's the pity because it didn't have to be this way.

Years ago, I was having a similar discussion about this and the person I was talking to had asked why boys experiment with sex and with each other and... it's not that easy to explain but I had said, "If you leave guys to their own devices, there's no telling what they'll do - and one thing that they'll do is have sex with each other." I had allowed that it was a pattern I'd noticed in my own youthful debauchery with my male friends: Leave us with 'nothing to do' and the thing we can do is have sex. So, we did. A lot.

I noticed the same pattern as an adult; leave two adult males to their own devices and with 'nothing to do' and not only are they very likely to want to have sex, but it just might also occur to them to have sex with each other, usually blowjobs galore, sometimes more than that. A married man can't convince his wife to have sex with him, and he gets left to his own devices and... there's still no telling what he might do. Social norms and conditioning are hard at work to keep him from doing something that, in his mind, makes all the sense in the world and that just might be finding out if it's true that men suck cock better than women. The weird logical shift that says if he sleeps with another woman, he's cheating on his wife but if he has sex with a guy, well, that's not really cheating is it? It's a guy thing and just like a wife having sex with one of her girlfriends isn't really cheating since she's not doing anything with another man.

Or fuck religion and our social norms. They are part of the problem and never the solution. To hell with discussions about homosexuality and religion because they're irrelevant since, again and again, this is part of the problem and we know what the fucking problems are and their root cause and none of this tells a married bisexual how to solve the problem and, thus, they get left to their own devices. Whether it's just a sexual thing or a sexuality thing, homosexual sex is one answer to a problem that shouldn't exist outside of a wife reaching a menopausal state and she's out of the game... and leaving her sex-starved husband to his own devices.

I don't know how many cocks I've sucked belonging to married men who got left to their own devices because their wife, for some or any reason, refused to have sex with him. How many have filled my butt with their seed and had their butt filled with mine? Just sex or sexuality? End of the day, does it matter since, as one man told me, "It's better than the nothing I was getting..." Another man said, "If I get caught, I just get caught..."

I'm done with this.