For bi men whose wife is still "in the dark".......

KD23:

That last statement (the last line of your excellent response) indeed truly and honestly speaks volumes, for sure......."society" at large is far, far too often too narrow-minded, opinionated, and bigoted.

Again, that last sentence really hit the nail on the head, my friend........

 

We know that society is fucked up. But if guys are sitting around waiting for the world to change, they're going to be waiting for a damned long time. So many men have decided that, shit, fuck that, I'm not waiting for society to get their fucking shit together! They need to do something about this right the fuck now. While taking action with another woman "makes sense," many guys recognize that, sure, they can take up with another woman who's going to fuck their brains out but, at some point, that well is going to run dry, too, and they'll be right back where they started from.

The problem here is that they really don't want to do this with another woman... but getting with a guy? It's still cheating but this is really boys being boys and, whew, some tough choices have to be made, and many men go with the "lesser of the two evils." Maybe they've been here before marriage so they know how good it can be; maybe they've been watching porn and all those big cocks violating mouths, pussies, and assholes and they... wonder what it's like to be him or her and at the mercy of the big cock; maybe that mysterious "voice" in our head says, "Today is a good day to suck cock!"

Maybe getting with a guy is the only "logical" choice. I've had so many married men give me their cum and taking mine and, like I said, I wanted to know why they chose this over pussy (not that I was complaining). For so many of them, it was this or nothing. If I learned nothing else, it's that men will do whatever they have to do to be able to have sex.

Rules? Fuck the rules...

 

KD23:

"Fuck the rules"........once again, your last comment REALY gets to the VERY CORE of it all.....make your OWN rules!!!!!!!!!!!

Go with your OWN flow, and DO NOT allow "society" (or anyone else for that matter) dictate to you HOW you should live YOUR life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We all live our OWN lives, and we DO NOT have to "ask permission" from ANYONE as to HOW we live OUR life...................

 

You have to give yourself permission to make a move like this; it would be so very nice if she would give her permission but, eh, what are the chances of that happening? Again, the problem is that if you're married, you have to answer to some people like your wife and, perish the thought, lawyers and a judge if your light is discovered and she ain't feeling what you did - or why you did it.

 

And that my friend is why I approach it the way that I do. It’s not that I live a lie, I dont. I’m honest with my self on what my realities are and how I choose to respond to them. And not all of that is anyone else’s business. I don’t talk to my children about my bisexuality and more than I have about what position they were conceived in. It’s just not relevant to them.
It is the same with my wife. She has chosen the no sex dynamic in our marriage. I get it that a big portion of that biology and for the sake of this discussion won’t get into all of that. So in effect she also has made this portion of my life not relevant to her. And I’m fine with that.
Just yesterday I went to a friend’s house while she was out and about and had a good time having sex. I came home satisfied. She came home happy also. I didn’t treat her with resentment or have to tell her what I did out of spite. Nope! I kissed her and asked her if she had a good time.
Is that a lie? No. I love her and treat her like I do. It just would not serve any purpose to tell her just hours ago I was getting fucked in the ass and getting my dick sucked. Everyone is happy.

 

Hey, Windman! Can I ask - and would you tell me - why she came home happy as well? I know of a lot of guys who went on the DL, their lady found out but instead of the shit hitting the fan, it introduced them to a very different way to be married...

 

"....the family that 'PLAYS' together, STAYS together....."

 

Yeah, kinda/sorta. Maybe.

 

KDaddy I don't mind at all. She came home happy not knowing I had sex with someone else. I have said here before she has said she doesn’t want to know how I solve “my” no sex at home dilemma. So we don’t talk about it anymore. That said, I m under the impression she thinks I get relief from a rub and tug massage. I don’t. I get a legitimate massage. I’ve been married to this woman for 45 years and know her quite well, she would not like me having sex with a man. So in our case it is not possible that introducing her to my bisexuality would be a success.
Happy is her default disposition. She is typically a happy person. So if she comes home from a day of being out with friends she’s happy. I didn’t pester her for sex that I know she doesn’t get any enjoyment from. I feel better not pestering her for it knowing that if she caves into it she did so out of duty and not desire.

 

Thank you. I've known a couple of wives who told their husbands, "I don't care what you do but whatever it is, I don't want to hear about it." And, yeah, they're happy because he's not begging them for sex or pitching a bitch at them because they ain't trying to have sex.

A win/win I'd say.

 

This is my situation as well. Mine does not want to know either.

 

Sometimes, that's the best a guy can hope for even though, personally, I think it smacks of a sense of great indifference but if it's because you don't want to know how I'm getting my itch scratched, then fine. That way, I also don't have to tell you that I'm bisexual or I just discovered that I am, can now live out a fantasy I've had or whatever reason you decided that a man's cock is going to be the solution to the problem.

 

For me it has been an easy choice. I have had an attraction for sexual contact with men for as long as I’ve been an adult. I could go either way. So as a married man it was easy enough to ignore my attraction for men because I was getting plenty of sex at home. Once that started wane it was a viable alternative. I did struggle with the decision to follow through with it at first, but once I did it was like a whole new world was available to me.

 

It's not an easy decision to make but, yeah, once you make it and get into it, you get your eyes widely opened.

 

@Windman
Amazing how similar we are. I too was sexually satisfied for many decades…..until she stopped, cold turkey! I knew I was bisexual even though I never had been with a man. So once she walked away from sex I turned to my gay side. While I have not been with many men I have enjoyed the journey, doubt I would ever stop.

 

IMHO, I think that, there are more married guys out there that you can shake a stick at, who have truly NO INKLING at how hot and satisfying M2M sex really is, and have never given it a thought....until the wife stops "putting out", and the "wheels start to click" in the husband's mind, as to what other options might be available for some sort of sexual release...........

 

Well, hmm, methinks that would be any guy who has never had sex with another guy. A lot of guys very likely wouldn't even think about such a thing until... pussy has gone by the wayside or is now incredibly and stupidly hard to get. There's always porn and beating the bishop but, well, we're all guys here and we all know that, sometimes, we're just going through the motions to get the release but not a lot of pleasure out of it. This is the part that has mystified me for decades: What make a guy who has never thought about having sex with a guy decide that getting some dick is the answer to his lack of pussy problem?

The guys who have never experienced it has no idea what it's like to have his cock sucked by someone who is (a) starving to do it and (b) is going to do everything he can to drain your nuts... and more than once if you let him. Guys who have been trying to have anal sex with their woman (or any woman) might know that gay men fuck each other but has no idea what it's like to watch his hardness vanish deep inside a guy's ass and it might even surprise him that with some guys, that feels better than the best pussy you've ever had your cock in.

The guys who have never experienced it don't really understand how and why those of us who have experienced it says that it feels right and normal and a whole lot of us have asked and wondered what we were afraid of and why the fuck did it take so long for us to do it. They can't understand how this goes from not making any damned sense to it making all the fucking sense in the world!"

I've seen it in their eyes; I've seen it reflected on their faces. I've felt the hard throbbing of their pricks in mouth and my ass. Only then do they really understand it. I've felt their fear, their hesitation and confusion; they don't want to do this, but they know they need to and then, some time later, they know like I have known damned near all of my life...

 

Now, having said all of that, the guys who are keeping their wife/girlfriend in the dark regarding their quest for cock know this. They know what it's like; they've learned what they like and don't like; they know what they want to do and how to go about doing it so that no one is the wiser (hopefully).

 

KD23:

Now, you have to wonder......


Think of a senario where the wife of a bi guy tells him that he can have sex with AS MANY men as he wants, BUT, "out-of-marriage" pussy is OUT!!!!!

In other words, SHE wants to be the ONLY woman in his life, so she cares nothing about how many FWBs he has................

 

It's a real kind of thing. I've known wives to tell their husband that okay; you can get all the dick you can handle but you cannot, will not and you'd better not be messing with any other woman. And that's regardless to whether or not she's still having sex with him. Some wives will even demand to be in on the selection process - she wants to approve the guy her husband is going to sleep with. I've seen and heard the couple argue because he wants this guy and she doesn't like him and the question to her has been, "Why does it matter to you... unless you want to fuck him, too?" Maybe she does, usually that's not the case and I've honestly never understood this twist other than she wants to keep running his life and being in control of what he does i.e., I knew a guy whose wife told him that he could suck cock - but he couldn't swallow. When I asked him why she said that, he couldn't answer because she didn't say a word about why he couldn't.

Or another wife who forbade her husband to have anal sex either way. Another forbade her hubby to give a blowjob, but he could get blowjobs from guys. Yet another wife told her husband that he can sleep with any guy he wants to as long as the guy wasn't Black or Hispanic. Why? Because she said so. Take it or leave it and she didn't care one way or the other.

When guys are looking to get her permission to have sex with men, one of the things I ask them is what are you willing to give her in return for her permission? What are you willing to do in order to get it?