Bi men and aging

If only you could be what kind of bisexual?

 

One that at least has sex twice a year lol

 

How about NOT having sex in 68 years??

Believe me, I've got a "bachelor's degree" in "Celibacy 101"!

 

I was doing very damned good in that department before all the shit with having cancer hit...

 

KD23:

What have your docs said?

Have you gotten a "clean slate" (and a "green light"?)

Here's hoping you are doing better, and winning the battle with "The Big C", my friend!

 

Ooh that stinks!

 

And that stinks even more! I really hope there's a good prognosis for this but understand if you don't wanna talk about it and I'll leave it at that.

 

The doctors are quite sure that there's no cancer left in me, but my immune system has been taking its own sweet time getting back to normal so for my own safety, no sex until my immune system is good to go.

 

Hope it comes back too soon than too late!

 

I've never been good at being patient, but this cannot be rushed. I joked with my oncologist that chemo trashed my immune system in two doses and it's taken all this time to get almost back to the low end of being normal. She just rolled her eyes and told me to be patient. I have some lab work and a CAT scan to do for her before my next visit and I'm hoping it's the visit where she says I can go back to having sex.

 

Just take it one day at a time, my friend, and just keep that positive frame of mind!

Cheering you on, ALL the way, for a FULL recovery!

 

KD23:

Indeed, you've always been a powerfully resilient, NOT to be trifled with, "knock 'em down" fighter during the course of your (most interesting and QUITE diverse!) life; given this, that resilience and your strong sense of self-preservation will see you through this latest hurdle.

Once again, STAY STRONG and keep on keepin' on!

 

One thing I am quite sure of is how my wife would react to my being bisexual. It’s not a pretty picture of her being understanding, she would think of it as a betrayal. Even though she has no desire to have sex anymore.the expectation is that I’ll just deal with it and do without. She isn’t a bad woman at all, in fact the opposite. She is a very loving person that does a lot for me. Sex just isn’t one of those things. So for me it isn’t about being courageous enough to tell her, it about preserving what I do have. My bisexuality being a secret is a key part of our continued happiness together. There is no question at all for me in how she would react to it.
So no, it’s not a perfect scenario at all but it’s the only way I’m going to get sexual satisfaction. I have a few friends I see for sex. We aren’t romantic, and there is no danger of me leaving her for one of them. And that’s the part that I don’t think she would ever be able to wrap her mind around, sex without the emotion of love connected to it. It’s not how she can process it.

 

I am sure that there are more than a few married bisexual males who are under the conception that, once they get married, the wife will be there 24/7 for sex (even I know that is a highly-unrealistic assumption)

How fast REALITY takes center stage.

Then, after awhile, it becomes obvious that the wife is no longer including sex in her "wifely duties", leaving the husband sexually frustrated (unless he DOES have buds he can have discreet sex with)

Indeed, this topic discussing bisexual married men (and "coming out" to their wives) has revealed a subject that can be (and often is) ultra-sensitive, highly-complex, and, not to mention, highly volatile.

From what I've been reading here, a bisexual married man whose spouse would NOT "give the green light" for her husband to pursue an active (and much needed) M2M sex life, is indeed in a serious "stuck between a rock and a hard place" scenario, for certain.....

 

Also the notion that my my wife would consider sex as “a wifely duty” really isn’t that appealing to me. Enthusiasm is important to me, I don’t want to have sex with someone who really isn’t into it. So since she doesn’t want it I’d rather not pester her into caving into what I want knowing she gets nothing out of it. I like to be desired.

 

A mature and sensible man you obviously are...........

 

@Windman, a lot of women see it as a betrayal and a direct offense to them and even if you were to just mention to her that you were thinking about sex with a guy. A lot of women who stop having sex insist that their man stop having sex, too, and it's an inequity that has fucked with many a man and ever since the institution of marriage came to be or, as I had asked a woman one time about what her man was supposed to do because she cut him off, she said, "Nothing. And he better not do nothing." And, yes, indeed, there are a lot of men who aren't going to go along with being made celibate and... they do something about it because something must be done.

 

I remember being told that when I get married, my wife is supposed to have sex with me any and every time I want to have sex and even if she doesn't feel like having sex. I'm running around having sex with the "hot in the ass" girls who said that anytime I wanted to do it to them, they'd do it... but the reality was very different and a preview of what it was going to be like being married - and a preview that I admit to having ignored until I found out that, sure, your wife can want to have sex with you but there are some times when she doesn't and there's nothing I can do or say about it because that old school biblical shit doesn't fly in modern times.

 

KD23:

For far too many bisexual married males, the fantasy of having a "wife on call" for sex 24/7 quickly becomes the "reality" of hearing "Not tonight, dear, I have a headache" at more and more frequent intervals, inflicting severe cases of "blue balls" to the frustrated husband who might not have a "safe" (or convenient) M2M sexual outlet, to provide him with much-needed sexual relief............

 

I know my wife would flip if she knew I was going to men for sex. The same as she would if I were seeing a woman. In her mind both are a betrayal. So rather than enter into an argument that something has to give. I don’t engage in an argument over it. This way I am happy because I’m having sex and she is happy because she doesn’t and she doesn’t suspect I’m going outside of our marriage for it. I could talk until I’m blue in the face about the inequality of the situation but in the end will not have convinced her that it it’s reasonable for me to have sex outside of our marriage. This in reality works for both of us.