Married and sexually frustrated

I feel really bad to come on this post. I am a woman married for 15 years. After birth of our children it has been almost non existent. It started during pregnancy out of fear of hurting the babies but after the natural birth and healing it took a dive. I have been the one pushing for it. I am so frustrated. I was called crazy for wondering if he was cheating. I bought toys and started to experiment alot with things that would seem taboo(was not easy for me) . He says that his mind is not on it because of other life worries, finances,the kids and putting things in place. Even with my help to even out the stress and get things in order it has only increased to one time every 3 to 5 months and that is with me being forceful. I feel disgusted with myself for writing this. Now at times he makes attempts because of my sexual frustration and me expressing ig but it feels so forced that I just feel like a very aggressive nagging wife. Sometimes I dont even want cuddling and just want a quickie. Could not even get one of those in the last few days. On my birthday he would always have sex with me but F*** its once a year and then maybe christmas and anniversary. I have been doing yoga , praying meditating, running, going to the gym and kickboxing to burn off stress and keep my mind off of it. We have a 12 year difference and he is in good health. Wakes up with a stiff each morning that the happy toilet.........................instead of................... fill in the blanks. My married girlfriends say they wish their husbands would space it out. I am trying very hard. I would not break my wedding vows. I never thought this could happen to me as a woman. Reading the posts I am probably in the wrong place. Have any of suggested therapy? I did and it caused a bigger gap.

 

Seems people can be so mismatched in the sex department. How something so good could make so much trouble......

 

I'm very sorry for you sharpelf. I've been in a similar position for over 30 years. I think you need to tell yourself it's not your fault and you have to take care of yourself. Take care of your own sexual needs like most the people on this thread do. I feel the same way you do, I don't want to break my vows, but I didn't sign up for this. I am starting therapy next week for depression and this topic will definitely be at the top of the list. Hopefully we will do some marriage counseling but I'm not so sure that will make any difference. My wife is similar to your husband's response. When we did have sex it just seemed forced, like she really didn't want to do it. It hurts, I know.

 

Such a shame and very sad I'm so thankful to be having a great sex life

 

What would be worse being in a sexless marriage, or having great sex until a few years ago. when she lost interest. In her late 60's. I still have great memories, but sure miss when she got into it. Now she just wants to cuddle. She never denies me, but it's not as much fun as when she loved it.

 

Keep trying. You never know. X

 

I had wished there is a way to turn in to asexual

 

Jimandjan.... At least she wants to cuddle!! I would settle for that many days.

 

A bit of understanding your wife’s behavior perhaps will help you. She may have a reason why she withholds having sex. We men try to ignore or just too ignorant to understand that women can suffer from postnatal depression, think about it than thinking about your sex drive. Have a friendly discussion with her, and it may solve the problem. Anyway, good luck to you.

 

I feel your pain. I’ve had nothing for a few weeks due to us traveling around, staying with parents, friends and stuff. My ball are throbbing and full of cum. Anyway, we have a few days to ourselves in a hotel next week. It’s going to be so much fun.

 

Don’t be a whimp live with it. If the answer is no have cold shower

 

I’ll live with it as long as I need to. She’s definitely getting it next week though. Probably won’t last very long but hey ho.

 

Good luck

 

Cheers. Gonna be fun.

 

I wish you all the best

 

Thank you

 

I'm am young and single, seeing all these stories about sexless marriages is scary. I have a big sex drive puts me off settling down I do have a girl friends.

 

I believe it is 50% compatibility and 50% relationship. relationship = mutual respect, care and commitment.

 

It’s not that bad. I’ve been with the same girl 12 years and married for 6. After our daughter was born we probably had sex a handful of times in one year but she did still keep making me cum in other ways. I always had an empty ball sack. Since then though it has pretty much returned to a frequent as it always has been.

 

My advice would be to communicate with your steady girl or fiance what your wishes are for your sex life when you marry. I had many red flags but I did not think they were enough to make me call if the wedding. One was her reluctance to agree to having oral sex as part of our sex life. We never had oral during our court ship. Another red flag was how uncomfortable she was discussing sex. Communication is always key. I thought could change her after we got married. This never happens. What you see is what you get. Be careful about making huge life decisions when in the gaga phase of a relationship. You need to step back, take some deep breaths and ask yourself, "is this what I want to live with the rest of my life??!!"

And don't settle. The right person is out there.