Has #metoo and dating apps ruined love culture?

Those were the days... (to the theme of "all in the family")

Parties, concerts, random gatherings... You might ask each other's names before getting it on. I remember cases where the total conversion was "do you wanna go in the woods?" Then on the way, " I don't wear underwear, just gets in the way". Coming back,"that was fun, I'm going back to where my friends are, see ya".
Few minutes later she's headin for the woods with another guy.

Was walking to a concert with a friend and his girlfriend. Out of nowhere this little fox runs up "where ya going" rubs her ass into my member as we walk, very skillfully I might add. She wasn't interested in wasting time.

Bold and fun they were. Guessing the ones who had a harder time getting laid are behind the movement of making it more difficult for everybody.

 

the religious nuts love the dating apps. i'm not sure why, i guess there's not enough single guys in their church? i don't know how many profiles i've passed on when they start going on about how god is the most important thing in their life.

 

you're not really letting jesus stop you from getting pussy are you? really?? ..

 

it's not like she needs to be an atheist or anything, but i also don't need her dressing me up and dragging me to church 7 days a week.

 

Jesus is the ultimate cockblock

 

I had girls come on to me some years ago when I was single, and even after I got married. But I've NEVER cheated on my wife - ever.

I remember a girl at a big outdoor party who was seeing a guy (that I knew) for a while. She followed me to my vehicle and got in the passenger side. I asked her what she was doing, and she said she wanted to see if I was a good kisser. So she leaned over and we kissed for some 15 minutes. It was very hot!! I had several other girls come up and lay one on me over the years - even ones who knew I was seeing someone at the time. Those days are GONE !! And I NEVER forced myself on any girl / woman. I respect ladies too much to be that "caveman-ish."

I think most guys are walking on eggshells these days for fear of arrests, lawsuits, bad publicity, etc. Sexual assault / rape is one thing, but making flirty, suggestive comments or comments with sexual innuendo is harmless - physically - to any woman. She can just walk away from those conversations. But some women will see $$$$ and feel the need to sue over something harmless. If they end up alone and lonely ………… OH WELL !!! It's such a shame because we're losing the flirty, tease-y, guy/girl chemistry that can boil up from humorous, suggestive, innuendo-laced conversations. Dating has become, for many, a HAZ - MAT situation. Approach at your own risk.

 

I found that in certain circumstances I was told no and in no uncertain terms...

That was really hard for me at that time. I couldn't understand. Why!? Lol!!! it makes me laugh now. But in one instance I kept trying and finally the girl, Klara, got really pissed and said "drive me home". I could not legally of course; I was soused. And I kept trying to sleep in her bed and be close to her. I was overweight and alcoholic at the time.

I'm sober now and can FULLY see the error I made. I wish it hadn't ever happened. But I didn't assault her or force myself on her. I didn't get to kiss her... She had a boyfriend (which makes me wonder what the world she was doing at my apartment to begin with, but whatevs… that's a discussion for another topic). She was actually from a website I was on in... oh, it must have been 2008 or something.

 

That's the lamest excuse ever.
Jesus is love.

 

That was a joke, I don't believe in Jesus.

 

Your loss, bro.

And crappy joke.

 

Great anecdote about messing around with skanks in the woods. Jesus would be proud.

 

I think if men are afraid to approach women because of #metoo, it might be because they now can’t get away with what they might have in the past. It would seem that men who have good intentions and don’t look at women as merely sex objects, likely should do just fine despite the #metoo movement.

 

@Deidre is right. & I'm guilty of being a big chicken about approaching women. But I don't want to live in a world where women have to be afraid of Harvey Weinstein or being punished for not putting out.

 

Perhaps even do better

 

It's easily confused what Jesus said and what others have said about him unless you read His words for yourself.

 

I think that's technically right. And it shouldn't affect men's ability to approach women. But both sides gotta realize that the tables have turned in terms of who's in charge of initiating the moves. Or really just initiating inferences in that direction of physical entanglement. He puts himself at greater risk with any manner of doing this. And guys know this. We've felt it build for decades. We're well aware of the shift of balance of power. But the girls are only starting to catch on to the new dynamics of their role. They have to be the ones now to lead the guy up each step of the staircase. At least until they reach the metaphorical top where they are an established couple and it would be impossible to alegate unwanted sexual involvement. Even after that, he can still be taken down by mere allegation, but harder to drag him as deep.

Depending on how wronged she decides to feel, guys could be looking at jail time, civil damage settlements or perhaps a payoff and an NDA would settle it.

Of course his social and financial status determines the size of risk the guy's taking by trying to alert a candidate female of his sexual attraction to her. If he's not making excuses and running, and she's interested in getting physical or moving in that direction, then she'll only accomplish that by making a clear move. If she waits for him to make a decisive move first, the opportunity will be lost to both.

 

Not all women have #metoo on their minds when dating. Or even in the workplace. I know that I have recourse if a male coworker or boss starts saying inappropriate things but I’m not looking for it. If you look at the majority of #metoo claims that have hit the media, those men were egregious in their behaviors. That’s why they were #metoo’d. This isn’t to say that there aren’t opportunistic women out there who are looking for a pay day, but the majority of women just want to be treated with respect and not entitlements. #metoo happened because men behaved badly remember, not because women have been overreacting.

I’ve been married for a few years now but I got to know my husband through a friendship first. I don’t recommend flirting and asking women out at work, it’s not appropriate. I don’t recommend one night stands where you’re being super intimate with a stranger who could hurt you in many ways. If you don’t know someone well, you stand the risk of getting hurt. That’s just me. If you sleep with random women that you don’t know, she could say just about anything. You simply don’t know her character, same for women when it comes to trusting men too quickly. This is common sense though lol regardless of #metoo.

So people should be cautious but not paranoid.

 

From your posts, you seem like such a stand up guy. There are women out there who want someone just like you, and will treat you well.

 

Right on. But, my main point - if a woman is seeking a relationship, as many certainly are, then she should be thinking about the shift in balance of power - is not addressed. Do you see that point?

 

Or maybe not think of male/female relationships as some sort of power play at all?