Stoned Festivus For The Rest of Us

only the next one thousand callers are eligible

 

how do you measure the weight of a millennial?


insta-grams

 

Weather forecast yesterday evening said rain to start around noon today. Should have been enough time to get that mulch I got yesterday where it needed to be.


Nope, Nope and Nope.


Now I'm fucking soaked....

 

that woman who married a ghost announced her marriage is over....her ex...jack the ghost....was a pirate in real life.....jack the pirate....wonder where that came from?

 

its holy thursday, and you know what that means.

 

pray?

what is exactly is the ''mulch'' and where do you spread it?

 

Hardwood mulch, bought in garden centers. (in this case Home Despot) I use it in the landscaping I've done around the house to keep the weeds down.

This project is a corner of the side yard that in impossible to mow and builds up with Oak leaves every year. The plan was to spread the leaves while the wind was in the proper direction and dump about 6 inches of mulch on it. Maybe transplant a tree there sometime this summer. Now the winds are shifting direction and it's gonna fug everything up...


Besides the fact that I got fucking drenched...

 

That was one of my fav commentating races i felt very comfy talking a lot.

 

quark quark quark

 

lol, Aussie Prime Minister, shoulda gone to specsavers.

 

cant look up video on my phone so...
youtube george carlin advertising lullaby

 

I guess the guy didn't see the sign up left I hate these kind of fucking idiots

 

LOL I just realized buddy is sitting in the car I got out and stood in front of them to snap that picture plus it pointed to the sign for my kids so hopefully the dick saw it

 

fuck its raining

 

I hate when people back their cars in. I dunno why it bugs me so much but it does

 

I like when they do it at the grocery store even though it makes it super awkward to put groceries in to the trunk.

 

I don't know why I even bother taking tylenol or ibuprofen or joint pain anymore. They never do anything and are just making my liver and kidneys work harder.

I've got the tramadol, but I try to avoid it as much as possible. Mostly due to side effects, not worries about addiction.

As soon as my wife gets home and can watch the kid, I'm going to smoke a bowl. One of the knuckles on my left hand is a balloon. I guess it could be my right hand, so could be worse.

 

driving backwards is one of my talents.....I can back up any distance perfectly straight at speeds that scare the passengers

also.....50 of those 130 seeds so far have sprouted and been transferred to pellets ….about 10 were tossed or lost in the transfer....figure I have 50 to go