The camaraderie among men

With all due respect, brother, ...

Absolutely wrong. On the contrary, I think that women are God's greatest gift to men (red wine, music, and lifting are serious competitors). I think I have too much respect for women. To use another analogy, it is absolutely possible for me to respect women and want to stay away from them the same way that I love and respect the Pacific ocean but want to stay away from it because of jellyfish and sharks and because I can't swim

Absolutely right I tried too hard.

(More to come ... stay tuned)

 

LOLz, thats some quality holier than thou stuff - "I'm speculating that you actually don't have much respect for women after all" "Do you even respect men? Or for that matter, do you respect yourself?"

Hence his reply of - Appreciate, really I do, but whatevas

 

VG, yes, some of what the man said wasn't accurate, but I really do appreciate that he took the time and effort to write a thoughtful post. That's what I meant. I was not being sarcastic in my response.

It isn't easy to understand a complete stranger on the internet based on a paragraph written on a web page. He has tried to understand what I wrote and it looks like there are a few misunderstandings ... that's all.

And I really am drunk at the moment. A proper response will need to materialize tomorrow.

 

That's pretty sad that they only respond to text messages or apps. It's pretty annoying when you are trying to call someone, they don't answer, but then they text back right away with "hey what's up". Then you ask them if you're bothering them or if they are in a meeting or something, and it's "no, what's up". Answer the friggin phone! Hate it...

 

Hey man, don't fall for that....

 

Hmm ... why ? Is Mr. Unicorn a repeat offender ?

 

Just ignore him is what Eric suggests. I agree.

Btw: your spelling is quite impressive if you're as drunk as you claim!

 

man, you gotta learn to swim. it opens up a whole new world of options, not to mention it can save your life.

 

Got it. I'm still getting to know the site and the people.

Haha, thanks. Yes, I had a fair bit to drink but it is always more of a "happy " drunk state than an "impaired judgment" state.

 

I did take lessons a few years ago and I actually can do a bit of breaststroke. I love it, but just can't figure out freestyle. Breaststroke is not the most efficient stroke ... not suitable for ocean swimming I suppose.

Trust me, I wanted very much to learn it. Just couldn't figure it out.

 

Yes, that’s a good point. Drama is not gender-specific. But, I think that conversations among guys tend to remain superficial for the most part, in my experience - ball games, getting laid, a$$ho11es at work, jokes, pranks, laughs. I mean, how often do you pour your heart out to your pals ? If you do, they’ll tell you to “pull your shit together” and problem solved, right ? And staying superficial is a great recipe to prevent drama. It’s like there’s an unwritten rule among guys that you put on a brave face and joke around even if your life’s in the toilet. You might argue that then that’s not really a genuine friendship, but it keeps drama at bay, right ? It’s when you dig into the deeper layers of your life that relationships start to unravel because the seriousness of the conversation escalates and that’s where differing points of view catch fire.

Yes, I’m intolerant to the cold, not to the mountain And, it’s not an egomaniacal “I’m above it all” as you make it out to be. More like “I fuckin love the mountain, but man, I don’t wanna lose my dick to frostbite.” Yes, we all know the risks involved with bad partners but how often does that stop us from getting in those bad relationships ? I think I get what you’re trying to say, but you misunderstood me. It is not a hatred or lack of respect that keeps me away from the mountain. It is the fear of frostbite and hypothermia.

I hope this doesn’t anger you, but I’ve thought about this paragraph of yours, and I think there’s a lot of projection going on here. You’re projecting stuff from yourself onto me. I can’t conceive of how else you’d be so off the mark in your estimation of how I feel towards women. And this is not a criticism, just trying to figure out why you said what you said here. It really seems like you’ve had to deal with such feelings yourself.

No, I'm not a misogynist. Quite the opposite.
No, I don’t disrespect women. Quite the opposite.
No, I’m not a horn dog and my dick didn’t lead me. In fact, most women I’ve been with used me for sex and didn’t want more. I always wanted more than I got.

The women who entered my life had their good qualities, but had a deep insecurity in them that meant that they couldn’t see the good I had to offer them. They were too used to being with macho guys who treated them like shit, and I didn’t know how to provide that for them. They were too stuck in their roles of damsel in distress, and wanted a macho guy to complete the picture … that wasn’t going to be me. They couldn’t think outside the box, couldn’t see beyond the obvious.

Now, where you’re spot on is that I did something seriously wrong. And this applies to most things in my life, really - career, family relationships, friendships, etc. And, what I did “wrong” is that I stayed true to myself, no matter what. I’m a non-conformist that the world has no place for. What I did wrong is expected equality where there was none to be found. And so, doors got shut in my face.

Most of my friends have drifted out of my life (male and female) for reasons that have nothing to do with the subject of this thread, so I won’t get into the reasons. Suffice it to say that I’m pretty much a loner at the moment. I didn’t ditch anyone … life took us apart.

Yes, I still respect women like the Pacific ocean But, I am staying away.

For all those years chasing women, most guys I met seemed insensitive and macho and I was always getting bullied for being different. So, I just kinda stayed away from them, I guess. And no, I don’t respect people who bully others because of their own insecurities, regardless of gender or age.

As to your question of bringing drama into the lives of other men, I’d say no, I don’t think that would happen at this point.

BTW, the thing to understand here is that I never said making male friends now would be easy. I just think it would be good for me. I never said this is going to be easy. So, we're spinning our wheels a bit trying to argue how easy it is going to be.

Another analogy - When most people say, "I wanna lose 30 lbs in 3 months", what they mean is that they want to lose 30 lbs. They're not saying it's going to be easy.

At the risk of boring you, but in order to give you some context, in the last couple of years, I’ve undergone a sort of soul searching journey and I am able to put everything that’s happened in my life in perspective. And, I appreciate where every event and every person fits into the scheme of it all. I have a deep appreciation of myself and everything in my life. I know my strengths and weaknesses. So, that answers your question about whether I respect myself.

So, to summarize my long post, I’m not perfect, but my wanting to stay away from women is simply a result of past experience, not the function of any kind of hatred or misogynism. To quote some wise guy, “Insanity is repeating the same behavior and expecting different results.” I think that making male friends would be a very positive thing for me at this stage in my life, even if the friendships aren’t perfect.

Again, I appreciate the thoughtful post, despite the misunderstandings.

 

breaststroke's great. you won't win a race against opponents who are doing freestyle, but it's still relatively fast and since there's the glide phase of each stroke, it's also a good resting stroke.

 

Do you swim a lot ?

 

during the summer, yeah. i live pretty much right on lake erie, so i'm at the beach pretty much every summer weekend, weather permitting. plus i teach boating classes over the summer, which often involves getting in the water to teach self rescues and such.

the rest of the year, i can go a long time without getting in the pool. but i am also a lifeguard instructor so i have to do some swimming year round between trainings and skills practice and such.

 

Nice. And you have a nice cleavage for a guy (referring to your avatar)

 

all that breaststroke built up massive pecs.

 

You are a lifeguard?

Ladies, how is this man still single?

 

FIXED......



Cheers Glen.

 

nah, VG's right. i have a gay fallback if i really want it, but i'm just not at that point yet.

 

You have a one track mind