It hasnt been a great week for the ticker

Sunday we had like our worst heatwave ever, heat stress

Monday Morning I get shocked out of bed my muthafookin loud lighting strike, missed a couple of heartbeats


Then tonight I'm on my bed stuffin around with the laptop, pedestal fan near the bed, i hear the fan start to splutter for the first time ever, think what the hell?, look across and theres this muthafookin huge huntsman spider for some reason trying to get past the grill into the fan blades. So I jump up like a little school girl, miss another couple of heartbeats, this thing was freakin huge, flick it off the fan with a pair of shorts, do a little icky dance that would have looked like if Vanilla Ice had just drunk cough medicine

One more stupid thing like this this week, and I'm going to need a stent put in

 

I'm sorry about your achy breaky heart.

 

Yeah, but that's valid. Can't spiders in Australia kill a large mammal just by looking in its direction?

 

Newsflash.!!!!!!
Australia is the cause of global warming.!!!!!
Meanwhile it is -2 here in the UK, Would you like me to mail you some pommy ice.

 

Meh......These City Gays Just Can't Cope With Even The Slightest Hiccup In Their Otherwise

Sheltered Life.........Out Here In The Wild West We Fart Louder Than Your Thunder Claps.......

Squash Huntsmen Between Our Teeth......And When It's Hot..... Fry Eggs On The Pavement.

Note To VG....."Harden The Fuck Up" Sunshine......



Cheers Glen.

 

This thing was the size of a small cat

Afterwards I realized it was a hunstman, so no biggie, but the first few seconds, I looked over, what the fuck is that, little schoolgirl scream.

I hadnt even seen a spider in I dont know how long, let alone one that could change a tire for me if it wanted to

 

You Clearly Have Forgotten Your Country Of Origin.....Here We Spell Those Big Black Round

Things....."Tyre's"......Only Peeps From The US And The Hat Of The US Spell It "Tires".....

Take Note Sunshine......



Cheers Glen.

 

^
Now that's a REAL man! :cheers2:

 

Real men dont bend over to autocorrect

 

The thought of a spider the size of a small cat....oh man.

 

And when they fall to the floor they go -thump-

 

Because of the Charlotte's Web cartoon as a kid, I didn't want to kill any spider.

Still to this day I won't kill a spider.

 

They spray spiders and bugs for fruit, flowers and veggies.

Indirectly, you have killed thousands

 

Why would you do that to me?

 

The spiders in Australia you would kill them. I promise you would kill them. I remember I saw a wild spider on the floor and my dad tried to whack a thing at it and it jumped on his hand, and when he did whack it, a bazillion tiny spider sprawled out like a shock wave. And they aren't the big huntsman either. Those thing are twice, three times the size. And it's like, you just freeze at the sight. It's like seriously the most demoralising thing you'll ever witness. This big fuck off thing on the wall. Always on a wall. Lol. Nah you'd kill them trust me.

The only ones I liked I think they call them money spiders? And they're small and round and really fast. Always outside.

 

I Have Always Liked The Ones With A Tiny Body .....The Size Of A Match Head And Long Thin Legs......

Had Them In My Old House And I Have Some Here......They Are The Perfect Flytrap......

They Can Bite......And It Will Hurt.....But No Nasty Side Effects......



Cheers Glen.

 

WTF Both of you!

Again...both of you...why would you do that to me? I want to live in my bubble where spiders are anthropomorphized. You two are trying to shatter my already fragile veneer.

 

What Irms said in the post below yours.

You'd kill them , they aint your woosey tiny cutesy american spiders.

Big mootherfookin creepy hairy fookers, that just stare at you, waiting for you to fall asleep, so they can take off your head

 

@ Neo..That Word Had 17 Letters.......I Can't Even Count To 17 Let Alone Spell Or Pronounce

A Word That Long......



Cheers Glen.