Sexual Behavior

Lol, talks about IQ and quotes their own post.

Somebodies doing well in special class errrr

 

crazy person keeps talking them him/herself.

 

sorry about all that. i think it's pretty clearly unanimous that your ex was a shit and you did the right thing by moving on. as far as crazy person here, i guess it's best to just sit back and enjoy the ride at this point, since there's really no other option.

 

Since I am the Ultimate Authority on What Is Normal I can tell you that that isn't normal. It seems he would be a good boxer, though. He should apply himself more.

 

back when i was in college i watched one of my best friends punch a hole in a wall. but it had nothing to do with sex, and was only a one time thing. it was actually kind of in my defense; he did it because a guy was basically trying to start a fight with me, knowing that i couldn't fight back due to a complicated campus housing situation. it worked, douchebag took off right after that.

 

i have nothing more to say, i'm just posting one more time to provoke a last flurry of funny posts before i sign off for the night.

 

No. It's not normal.

Neither is redshoes posting.

 

no

what are we suppose to do ?.

 

Iv'e Been A Member Here For 10 1/2 Years......Can't Recall Anybody Replying To

Their Own Posts Before....LOL....



Cheers Glen.

 

She’s not willing to hear anything that doesn’t exactly match what she said even if it should be obvious you’re actually in agreement with her

 

I just read the first post and to my surprise the only physical violence seemed to be punching a wall. Something was clearly wrong in their relationship, but I did not feel that sex was at the root of it. My first impression was that alcohol may have triggered her partners behavior and was destroying their relationship. Even if my assumption was wrong, she just needs to find a calm moment to get to the root cause of the problems. Reading on down the thread, I then got a strong feeling that 'Redshoes' had either witnessed or suffered an abusive relationship at some point in her life.

 

Nope, no alcohol. He hates the stuff actually. He just has a higher sex drive than I do and likes to take it out verbally. He'll bring up my past sexual abuse and throw it in my face. Not only that but he has a lot of childhood issues that need to be resolved with some kind of professional help.

 

Deleted

 

This isn't the first time that I've run into a problem when using the word "normal" in a statistical sense rather than a "it should be" sense.

 

I think you you understand the root of the problem and that is the most important factor. Life is never easy, but help for you both will have to take more than one path. Again, using my assumption, I suspect that at the start of your relationship, he was using sex as a crutch to put his deeper problems to the back of his mind. Now that your relationship has gone beyond those first stages, he is having difficulty in facing up to the realities and responsibilities that face him and the 'sex drug' is wearing off, meaning that he needs larger doses. He needs help in anger management, as well as resolving the issues that cause the anger, These may have to be kept somewhat separate if hey are to fully succeed. In he meantime, don't kick the crutch from under this poor cripple, but it is increasing the doses of his lifeline will not solve the deeper issues. Personally, I think that you may be his best therapist, since you are in the middle of it all. Talking about his issues and making him feel secure in your relationship is vital, since if he feels that he is loosing you, the problems could spiral out of hand. Ideally, you should create a situation where he fully opens up to you before making love, but he will also need to understand your needs as a woman in that department and not treat you just as a sex machine. It is going to be a long process. Do not be afraid to seek some professional help, but working alongside it will still be equally important. I wish you the best of success (note that I did NOT say luck)
Regards, Wills.

 

A contrary view would be that it is not her job to fix him. The more ways that one can say "he hits because she...", the more control he has over her (and the less that she has over herself.)
His behaviors are not her fault. And his failings are not due to her actions.
Her becoming a pseudo-therapist would blur those truths.

 

While I can see what you are saying, She has already committed to a relationship with him and clearly wants a long term resolution. I also noticed that she mentioned sexual abuse in her past and therefore suspect that his increasing unloving demands are turning her off. The whole thing seems like a catch 22 situation. I would not have posted my reply if he was hitting her, but punching a wall is more of a cry for help, replacing emotional pain with the physical pain of punching concrete. Most successful outcomes to problems start (and are often resolved) in the home. I do not consider mutual understanding as a pseudo-therapy. If your partner went through a 'bad patch', would you not want to feel that you had exhausted all the avenues before giving up on her. In a nutshell, I feel that they BOTH need the security of a functional relationship and with their past baggage it may need some hard work. I am dubious whether this is best provided by a few meetings with a stranger and a bottle of pills.

 

I understood what you meant ;-)

 

Couples therapy is strongly indicated.
But her role is as girlfriend or counselee, not therapist.